Is this ever going to end?

[clairep]

hi all been having a bad few days started on friday when my psychologist came to the house from the nhs felt really anxious whilst she was here and of course had the panic symptoms tried my best to sag and breathe exhaling slowly but was hard was trembling and swaying mouth was dry managed to get through it it was just a talk not a therapy session.Since friday i have felt awful my ears are the new symptom its like they pop and go slightly deaf the feeling u get when on a plane and a full feeling and ive been feeling really achey and more lightheaded when i walk its a feeling like im going to fall over unbalanced.Then saturday i was helping dad move furniture around as we had a sofa delivered and i done some housework and i felt terrible kept getting waves of panic come over it was taking my breathe away so strong so i had to keep sitting down for rests.I went out for a walk this morning on my own just near my house and it was the first time i didnt have my walking stick i was so unbalanced and the scenery around me looked very strange unreal.Then i came home and went for another walk with my dad but again didnt go far i was getting really anxious same symptoms.I dont feel like im achieving anything im feeling alot worse how is it i can go out one day and not feel as bad then another day dont have the same courage to do things?dad says its cos im facing my anxiety by doing things.Im having all these doubts today wondering how the h*ll am i going to improve?and will this adrenaline ever slow down?How will i be able to do normal things again without being overly anxious.Im feeling like im irrepairable cant recover its gone on too long.Plus how would i cope if anything happened to my dad?hes all ive got.Sorry its how i feel theres no end to it.

[hollow]

Hi Claire, there is an end and a positive one at that. Your dad is touching on the truth, facing your anxiety can and does it make it worse at times and pushing yourself can make you feel a lot worse but that is how anxiety works. It's easy to lose count of the good days, hours, minutes we have and focus on the bad because the good days don't make us feel like cr*p and without hope. I get all the same sensations you describe and they are h*ll at times but I keep going because it wins otherwise it's by no means easy of course. You can win too, your journey may take longer than some but you will get there and the anxiety may never completely go, I don't expect mine will but we can get our lives back and if that means a few adjustments along the way then that's fine with me. Keep strong!!!

[clairep]

Hi Hollow thanks for replying back it would be nice to have one good day at the moment.I probably have a couple of hours here and there of peace but thats it.I know we will always have anxiety thats normal just a low level of anxiety would be nice without the intensity.Im hoping once i start therapy i will improve as i know some of it is my thought patterns.How are you getting on with ur journey? x

[hollow]

You will get there Claire. I think I'm a lot better than I was thanks, I'm still full of anxiety at times and I've yet to have a 'free' day. I just keep going because I have no other option other than lie down and never get up and I'm not ready for that. Hope the therapy works well for you. Keep us updated x

[Jclark]

You will get there claire,ive suffered for years. But definitely made an improvement the past few weeks. Actually do get good days,where as I used to get none. Meds,cbt and pushing myself to do more has helped. I still cant go out in the evenings,but one day I will reclaim my life back,as will you. Always remember,you are not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck!

[clairep]

Hi Jclark,

Ive been like this for 7 years now but this past year has been really intense and severe.lm starting cbt friday so im hoping this will help along with facing my fears.Cant take meds couldnt handle the side effects and being overly sensitised i have trouble taking any meds.even nurofen.I hope one day il have a new life a better one.Its nice to know we are not alone and we can move forward from this.Thankyou for your support.I hope u are ok.Take care

claire x