Need someone to talk to

[1994smilelove]

Hello,im bethany,im 22 and ive suffered anxiety all my life but not nearly as bad as it has been the past 2 years.i was doing great until after having my second child,i kept having panic attacks just out of no where.i remember my first bad one that started the whole post partum anxiety thing in the first place.i was loading up my kids in the car to go to town which is like 5 mins away.and i kept feeling like my right side of my face and ear had alot of pressure and felt kinda numb so that made me nervous and when i left i kept thinking about it and by the time i got halfway to town i felt like i was gonna pass out and die or something and i kept trying to hurry and make it to the hospital bc i couldnt pull on the side of the road or anything i was alone with my kids.i was so terrified that i was about to pass out with my kids in the car all alone.and there would be no one around to help.so i drove as fast as i could to make it there i got tunnel vision and my heart was racing my mind was racing i couldnt breathe im suprised i made it to the hospital safely.well i finally got there and i ran in and told the front desk that i was having a panic attack that i was dying or something and they called my mom to come get the kids (my mom works there) bc i just left them in the car right in front of the hospital. And the nurse brought me on back and i explained to them that i couldnt see out of the corners of my eyes (btw i didnt know that was a panic attack symptom at that time)and that i felt like i was gonna pass out and die.i couldnt sit still i felt trapped and had no where to run to.i had no idea what was wrong with me but i was so so so scared.they gave me a shot of nerve medicine i think and after a while of running around like a chicken with its head cut off i finally calmed down and they released me (forgot to mention they done a cat scan and didnt find anything wrong) so my mom took off work and drove me back home.and stayed home with me and watched the kids while i rested.thinking back to that day really makes me anxious and makes me feel like its happening again.and im so scared.i was fine before writing this but now that ive thought about it again its made me very anxious.since that day i had head pressure on the right side,foggy brain,always on alert,couldnt think straight,my mind was always racing from the time i got up to the time i went to bed.ive went to every ER in the surrounding countys,ive had 3 cat scans done,seen a neurologist and an allergist (was terrified i had a tumor but the neurologist didnt think so but the allergist done tests and im allergic to lots of things)and went to my doctor atleast every other day.i stayed on google all day and night searching my symptoms which btw made things 10x worse.i stayed a nervous wreck 24/7 finally started taking klonopin as needed and celexa and after a couple weeks of being on it i felt so much better.but then i got pregnant again and had to come off of them except the doc said i could take the klonopin as needed since i was on such a small dose which was 1/4 of 5mg,well had the baby 2 1/2 months ago.now the post partum anxiety is back.i cant drive by myself,cant be alone,i cant even take a shower without having a panic attack.i get all kinds of panic attack symptoms,like cant concentrate,cant think straight,i always think somethings wrong with me,tunnel vision,blurry vision,numbness,sometimes its my arms and hands usually its just one side and sometimes my whole body goes numb,i get hot & cold at the same time dont really know how to explain it my hands will be cold but sweating and the same time same with my feet,tingling sometimes on my hands or arms or sometimes my face,head,or ears,my ears get really hot and red and feel pressure which i think thats like an allergy attack or something bc it does it often mostly in the winter.feel like i have to use the bathroom like really bad,and just feel odd and many more.ive tried to start the celexa back but the day i took it i had panic attacks all day long which i know thats normal for your anxiety to get worse before it got better but i just cant handle doing that over again.im sorry this is so long i just need someone to talk to who knows how anxiety feels.i dont have anyone to talk to that knows what im going through.anxiety runs through both sides of my family but i cant talk to them bc were not on speaking terms.just need to know if anybody else has been through any of this?

[bandicoot1987]

Hey, I've yet to experience anything like that, it sounds really severe. I don't have children but I can imagine how frightened you must have been having your kids in the car. It's sounds awful, I thought what I had gone through was bad enough, it's crazy how so many of us are experiencing anxiety in different ways.

My attacks have been less severe, over the last month I've had alot of things going on in my family and the past week I've been struggling to sleep, just when I feel like I'm about to doze off I feel like I stop breathing and I gasp for breath it's awful. I get really dizzy too as I feel I don't have enough oxygen getting to my head or something, my symptoms seem a little less harsh. I'm not really qualified to be handing out advice as I can't over come my own issues but I really do hope there's someone on here who can help you. 🌸

[1994smilelove in reply to bandicoot1987]

Thanks for the reply.and i know exactly what your talking about i do that sometimes when im trying to go to sleep.my sister does too.

[bandicoot1987 in reply to 1994smilelove]

Funny now I've mentioned the breathing I feel like it's going to happen now and last 2 nights I've actually drifted off without it happening. We are our own worst enemies clearly....it sucks how there's no quick fix or miracle tablet for this or for any health issues for that matter. 🌻

[bandicoot1987]

Reading back over your post, again not so intense but I get blurry vision dizziness and lack of concentration on a daily basis, sometimes I get in a muddle with simple things and I feel really stupid because I'm fairly switched on and quite bright.

I never even considered it having anything to do with anxiety, shaking legs and pins and needles in my arms/hands are just all part and parcel, I also come out in a rash sometimes which is odd. I want to go speak to someone, a doctor even about these things but my anxiety is based more on nervousness and I'm petrified of the doctors so I'm kind of stuck because it takes me everything in my power to book an appointment and when I do I'll have panic attacks right up until my appointment. Daft isn't it? I'm actually scared of the people that are there to help me...🐦

[marsbarr in reply to bandicoot1987]

Me too. Scared of Dr. Have panic attacks for years and visits. Horrible

[marsbarr]

1994smilelove. Yes indeed. I go through this. Anxiety is the worst. I have no one to really talk to. But here you can always find some help. Someone writes what you feel. We are not alone. I surely hope you feel better soon as so I wish for myself too.