first post hello

[hardwood]

my name is Russ i'm 19 and i've had agrophobia for a year tomorrow,

It all started on my way back to college in Chichester i had a panic attack on the bus and that was it stuck! i'm on ecitalopram 15mg and i also take vitamin b12 too keep my energy up, I am a self employed cabinet and furniture maker, I spend my days in my workshop making whatever I want and find it to be one of the places i am happy and calm, I have recently started seeing a girl i new as a kid who suffers from depression. we help each other out as best we can.

its nice because I spent almost 6 months on my own with just family to talk to when there not at work. I have a car and try and drive about can now just make the end of my road used to able to make it to my sister about 10 mins away but had a panic attack and haven't really driven for a few months.

my local nhs are crapp! I see a private therapist and when he prescribes new drugs they always complain that I get them at there dispensary. I am now totally reliant on my parents again after not living with the for the year before d day I have found a local charity shop that will sell my hand made boxes and things will hopefully bring in some cash to help pay my keep

I just seem to be going nowhere slow, I feel trapped like a caged animal, yet its me that says in my mind I cant go out I will have a panic attack or feel sick in my therapy sessions we talk about my messed up past and have tryed a few bits of cbt but i'm dyslexic and can barley talk about my feeling let alone put them on paper if i'm having a panic attack just feel lost

[Pickle165]

Hi im agoraphobic and have been for two years. i can now go to the corner shop on my own when im having a good day but mostly i never go out alone. i should be living with my boyfriend of four years who brought a house two years ago and hoped we would live together but ive had to stay at home with my mum cos i cant be alone alday while hes at work cos im scared something will happen. this has totally effected my relationship. i suffer with what feels like everything social anxiety, health, panic, you name it i got it! i can relate to you, i feel like a caged child at 31 living with mum. dont get me wrong i love my mum, we both suffer with deppression so she can relate which is nice and supportive but life should go forward and not backwards as i feel mine is. i find it very hard to express myself im very withdrawn, i am a little dyslexic i notice it more with numbers. I have fould my local nhs crap to be honest i am on a waiting list for cbt which is not untill next summer!!!!!! i take prozac which does take the edge off but if i up the does i just feel like a zombie. i would love to try hynotherapy but its soooo exspensive so im trying an ipod app instead that i listen to at night and i have niticed one little change. i would love to be self employed, im hoping that one day when this nightmare is over i can continue with my dog grooming and work for myself. today has been rough and the people on this site are so supportive so dont hold back. panic attacks are so frightening, when i have one i listen to charles linden panic attack eliminator that i brought from itunes, the full package isnt worth it but i do like the panic attack eliminator. sorry im rambing again, chat anytime. x

[stillstanding in reply to Pickle165]

Do you have a Mind centre near you? They might be able to give you cbt quicker than that. I'm waiting for it as well. I am going out at the moment, but can't go far. Don't worry about having to live with mum, when you get the right help, I think you will be able to move on. I find the panic really scary too, even though I know what it is, I keep having to run to hospital. beta blockers help a bit.

[stillstanding]

Hi I've had panic attacks with depression and this also makes me fear going too far from home. But as I live alone I have to get out. I have had this a few years ago and did beat it for a three years. Are you trying any breathing exercises for your panic? Get all the support you can, but keep trying EVERY day to go a little bit further. I know it's hard. I'm really impressed that you manage to do some work.

[AnneC]

As someone who has suffered with anx most of my life - please dont make it the centre of your world. You said you are happy and calm whilst at work, why dont you try to expand your business to go online selling furniture, this will keep your interest in your furniture going and carry some positive vibes for you into this area. Think the feeling that you have work try to recreate this in other areas of your life like visiting family - try to visit your sister with some of your furniture that you have made, this way you will carry what is a positive arena to another area of your life; Im sure your sister would appreciate you trying to visit, you dont have to stay for long, but try to go. I find keeping busy helps, even writing in things like this. My anxiety started way before any computers were even dreamt of, so for me being able to write like this is great and helpful.

Dont be a prisoner to and in your own mind - even if I feel very anx I make myself do whatever it is I have planned, I tell people Im with Im feeling bit jittery now, then soon I settle down. Whats the worst that can happen - feel the fear and do it anyway!