I hate psychiatrists and I dont know what to do

Okay, this is gonna be a long one so buckle up! I had my first huge panic attack when I was 17. It was in class, triggered by a random dizzy spell. I went to my primary care doctor and told her about it. She immediately prescribed me .25 Xanax to take as needed and Zoloft. I didn't even know anything about these drugs. I just knew I wanted to stop feeling anxious. Fast forward over the years, I'm seeing different psychiatrists, different therapists, but no medication or treatment is working for me. When I was 21 I started to see a psychiatrist named doctor Park. He put me on some medications and Xanax again. When I would come back and say I was still anxious, he would up the Xanax. I would feel better for a little while. Then I started hearing Xanax horror stories. At this point I was on 1 mg 2 times a day. I asked if I could go off it and he told me if I went off cold-turkey I would have a "huge seizure" and that if it was helping I should keep taking it. I figured he was the expert. I saw him every 2 months for about two years and we tried many medications. Nothing ever worked but the whole time he kept me on Xanax. I was paying out of pocket because my insurance didn't cover it. I must've spent 2,000 dollars or more there. So eventually I found a psychiatrist who took my insurance. His name was doctor Smith. He seemed like a smart, nice guy and I trusted him. He was also extremely liberal with Xanax. By the end of seeing him I was prescribed 2 mg 3 times a day, and 50 mg of Prozac which did nothing. I didn't take 2 mg 3 times a day because I knew it was way too much. I took 1 mg 4 times a day. It never ever made me feel high. It only helped calm my anxiety for maybe an hour. But I realized I was addicted to it, and that it was making my anxiety worse. I was ready to taper off. At this time, my psychiatrist ghosted me. He got a new job and I had no way to refill my scripts. I went to my doctor, the woman who had first put me on Xanax. She said she didn't prescribe it anymore. I told her I was afraid of withdrawals and she told me to just "get a new psychiatrist". So I talked to anothet psychiatrist. He tells me I'm addicted to Xanax. He doesn't prescribe benzos. Okay. So I go to another psychiatrist. This woman basically tells me I'm a drug addict who is going to end up like my mother (who intentionally overdosed) and she basically just treated me like a junkie rather than an anxious person. It was traumatizing and embarrassing. She told me to go to an emergency psychiatric facility. They wouldn't even let me in when I said I took Xanax. So I went to the ER. They actually were very nice and non-judgemental, and gave me enough Xanax to last 2 weeks, at which point I had made an appointment with doctor Park to pay out of pocket again. When I was talking about my anxiety, he didnt even listen to me. He said I was on too much Xanax and basically told me I was a drug addict who needed to go to rehab. I said to him "You prescribed me Xanax for 2 years. I'm not a drug addict. I never did anything wrong. I've only ever taken what I was prescribed." He got angry and said "it's out of my hands", kicked me out of the room and had the secretary give me my money back. I called the secretary afterwards to relay a message to him that I really needed help tapering off of benzos, please help me, I'll do it however he wants. He never called back. I am so hurt a frustrated. I have been told so many times that I am a drug addict that I believe its true. No one will help me taper. Rehab facilities dont have the resources to handle benzo withdrawals. I'm so angry and terrified. I feel like I have been so wronged and there's nothing I can even do. I could go back to the ER again, but I don't know what will happen. I have an old bottle of valium from when a psychiatrist prescribed me that but taking it makes me sick. I'm heartbroken and I feel like my life is over.

[Hb2003]

I am so sorry that all of those things happened to you it’s disgusting and despicable those people who told you that your a drug addict should get fired .

[Hidden in reply to Hb2003]

Thank you Hiba. They really have me feeling down. Unfortunately I'm not the first person this has happened to and there are never any consequences.

[Hb2003 in reply to Hidden]

Your welcome 🙏 that’s really sickening that there are no consequences and that this happened to other people as well

[b1b1b1]

Ask your medical doctor to recommend a psychiatrist specifically to help you taper off the Xanax. The formulas are not difficult. At one point I had been taking 3 mg of Ativan. I was told to reduce it by one half of a milligram every 14 days. You may need a new prescription to tide you over for the tapering time, which can take a while. See what your doctor says.

[Hidden in reply to b1b1b1]

Thank you. I don't think my medical doctor is going to help me so I might just end up having to go to the ER again and asking them. Otherwise I'd have to wait weeks for an appointment with a new psychiatrist.

[mydog56]

im so sorry, but mine is worst too

[Agora1]

Hi someone, I never did know the story behind your medication problem. It is pretty close to what mine was. You trust a doctor to put you on a medicine saying it's safe and it's a low

dose and yet years later when it no longer works, you are labeled a "drug addict".

I was devasted. I was so scared to get on Xanax and now terrified of the name calling.

Out of desperation, I joined a weekly meeting at the hospital for drug addiction even though I felt I didn't belong there.

As they went around the room introducing themselves, saying their drug of choice, they all included the words "I am an Addict".

When it came to my turn, I was very forthright in refusing to say I was an addict. That is when they said it should be called dependent. I received more kindness and understanding

from these people that gave me the courage to seek help. That wasn't an easy task since, like you stated, Benzo withdrawal is something most doctors and therapist don't want to touch..

I was fortunate in finding that out that my psychiatrist was a Benzo withdrawal specialist.

I had never known that. With his reassurance and help, I was able to slowly and safely

wean off Xanax. I'm wondering if you can find the same help in your state or county, it's a

big endeavor to take and you really need the support and psychological help from a specialist. Also make sure that you have other methods or tools set up in advance to replace the meds once you are off them.

For me, I found Meditation and Breathing that believe it or not, worked better than Xanax

and faster and last longer and are free. Not a bad deal. Good Luck dear. I'm here if you

need some help or support. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thank you. I'm sorry that you had to go through something similar but it's so comforting to know I'm not alone with this issue. I was very depressed and feeling defeated when I made this post but I'm feeling a lot better now.

[Angelcrafter]

So sorry to hear your difficulties. A psychiatrist administers pills and that's basically it. It probably be best to see a good psychologist and speak to your general doctor for prescriptions for your anxiety. I found Ativan much better than Xanax. I also take 10 mg of Cipralex and have lots of success. I would also get in touch with CAMH for additional support as they are an amazing support system. Good luck and wish you lots of success.

[6789movie]

That is terrible. Been taking Ativan for a few years. I don’t want to be on but my anxiety gets so bad

[Hidden]

I am going through the same exact thing right now. Was prescribed Xanax a few years ago and was not warned. Now I’m stuck. It’s frustrating and feels like you’ll never get out of it because there is no one out there who can help and most psychiatrists are jerks and it seems impossible to find one who knows how to get you off benzos safely.