I just dont know: Partner has mild aspergers... - Anxiety Support

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I just dont know


Partner has mild aspergers and depression. Im on citalopram for severe anxiety. We have had many problems in our relationship but love eachother so much. We argue so much and i am drained on top of having two small kids, one of which wakes every hour at night. Im so tired and exhausted and dont have much else left. I dont know why im writting this but just feel like i need to get it off my chest. When we argue im horrible and yh sometimes say nasty things. We are both in the wrong but i feel like he takes it too far. Calling me fat when he knows im insecure. I feel like he just doesnt understand the after effect. In fact he doesnt because his aspergers. Ive told him to get help but he finds it so difficult. My anxiety is coming back and i feel lost. I want to be the best parent. I feel so alone and spend most days crying. When we are happy we are so good. We used to be so in love but i think its gone past the pount of ever having that connection again. Hes a great dad hes just nasty to me and i dont know what to do

14 Replies

I would like to have a conversation with you in private if you don't mind? I believe I can help with your situation that you have in hand. Paul

Yes please

I think Counselling if you can put up with them I can't one of the best things if you can't talk to each other without arguing is to write how you feel on paper mention all his good points and how Proud and happy you feel when things are going good, then tell him the pain you feel when things are going bad,let him know you love him and ask if he loves you? Then if he responds positively ask him to write the positive points about you and also what he would like to change to make things better?

This is something I have personally done in the past and we were together as a couple for over twenty five years, ok now we are no longer living together but we do live in the same building and are the best friends we could ever be! I am still in love with her ,but this arrangement gives us both our independence yet know that we are close enough to help each other when we need help. (She does my cleaning and laundry still)

How old is baby? Could it be post partum depression?


I always advocate counseling /therapy along with "me time" and "us time". Are you getting either right now?

No x

Can you rely on family so you and he can get away, get counseling, get me time?

We do get time apart but it always ends so tense when we get back home

I wish I had more for you I know that my wife and I had kids things changed and not all for the better.

Do you have a physician you can see for anxiety medication?

Yh i see a dr


Those vows are being put to the test, huh? Me and my wife have been doing very poorly until I found out she was cheating on me. Instead of confronting her about it I ended up coaxing her back. We'll see if ours can be mended

I agree. Therapy would a good start and will help a lot. Try it, at least for your children. They deserve your love and nurturing.

I am not old enough to be wise but all I can say is that stay strong and hold in there. Make your child your priority so he can be free of depression or the side effects of argumentative parents. I do hope Allah swt gives you peace and tranquility in life ameen.

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