I don't know what to do

[QueenieLynn]

I've moved here recently in Australia. All my life i am with my mom. I love her. She's the most important person in my life. Now i am living with my dad. I leave my mom alone and it always kills me inside thinking she's alone. My mom didn't have a job yet and i am worried about her livelihood. She always put me first. She always says if i am with my dad he could give me an amazing life but i realised how could you feel amazing if you are not with the person you love? I am always contented with my life before as long as me and my mom are healthy and we have a place to stay and can eat three times a day i am satisfied as long as we are together.

I choose to be with my dad because he told me i can have a better future here. As a child who wants to give her mom a better life, i am willing to risk everything. I leave my mom, my studies, my friends, my life. When i got here he told me i cannot continue my studies because it's too expensive and i understand that. What i don't understand is why he didn't tell me before hand that i cannot continue my studies here and i have to wait 4 years so that i can go to university? I know he supported me throughout my life and i am thankful for that. I know he want me to stay with him so that he cannot send me money anymore. He have another family now and i know he is worried for them also. If i know this would happened i will tell him not to send me money anymore, i can live my life without him and i will not come here. There are other people who survived out there without the support of someone and i think i could live without him. Me and my mom will find a way to live our life as long as we are together. I just want to go home and be with my mom.

Even after all of these i am still thinking all the positive possibility in life. I am constantly looking for a job so that i can support my mom but unfortunately i am always rejected. Everyday i always woke up with palpitations and i don't know why. All i could think about is going home. I don't know what to do with my life anymore.

[Beliebermika]

Aww thats so sad . I know its hard what youre going through right now. But you have to be tough. Its hard for now but i know youll get used to it.your palpitating, I think its because of over stressed that giving you an anxiety. If you want someone to talk to, you can message me. Youll be fine dont worryy😊

[QueenieLynn in reply to Beliebermika]

Thank you so much Mika. I've been feeling more anxious since day one of being here. I cannot talk or open up to someone, so I am glad to stumble upon this community. Hope we can be friends.

[Beliebermika in reply to QueenieLynn]

Yes of course

[Hidden]

Sounds like you miss your mum and don't like it there at all. He should have been honest about your studies. Can you not find away to go home to your mum.

[QueenieLynn in reply to Hidden]

Yeah i miss my mom so much. I didn't understand why he didn't tell me anything about it. I am finding ways to go home as soon as i can but i don't have the courage to tell my dad i don't want to stay here.

[QueenieLynn in reply to QueenieLynn]

And the main thing is i don't have money to go home. it's too expensive.

[kevoreally in reply to QueenieLynn]

Tell him how you feel and that youwant to be with your mom and that he doesnt need to send you money be straight up with him and make him pay for the flight home for you having to drop everything for no damn reason