nothing to look forward to: Hello. I am a... - Anxiety Support

Anxiety Support

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nothing to look forward to

infanurse profile image
12 Replies

Hello. I am a single mom, older, professional career in mental health (ironic, I know) but i feel like I have nothing to look forward to ever. Nothing interests me. I have a lot of long time acquaintances but no one that I hang out with due to not having any similar interests. I don't plan to have a romantic relationship in the future or. complicated reasons. I can't share anything with my family because they always want to "fix" me because I am not like them. I don't do drugs, drink or any of that. Already on antidepressants and mood stabilizer and have been for 20 years.I had depression even as a child. I can't even cry anymore. It's all crammed down inside me. I act happy go lucky and bubbly in public and at work which is exhausting. I'm just so tired...

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infanurse profile image
infanurse
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12 Replies
Likesdogs profile image
Likesdogs

I feel like my anxiety takes all my energy too. The more stressed I am, the more tired. I've been coming home work work (also a medical professional!) and just scrolling the internet or watching shows. I don't want to go out or do anything else, and not getting things done around the house or to better my life just makes me more anxious and depressed. I'm trying to start with little things, just maybe doing a bit of something to lighten my mood.

BoomBoomB profile image
BoomBoomB

Im sorry you're feeling this way. I think many of us can relate to the feeling of being one person at home and putting on an "everything is fine" face in the world. Is there someone you can talk to about how you really feel? You mentioned you work in the mental health field so sorry if this is a silly question, but do you have a good therapist you're working with? I'd imagine your job is very demanding and must be especially hard when you're feeling depleted and depressed.

infanurse profile image
infanurse in reply to BoomBoomB

Nobody at work knows anything except a counselor I went to before I went to work there. I could talk to her but I just want to keep it separate. I’ve just kept it in since I realized nobody really wants to hear it or gives a crap honestly. Idk why I’m on here bc I honestly don’t think it’s fixable. I just can’t live like this either.

AmbieBambie profile image
AmbieBambie in reply to infanurse

Are you religious? I know churches have therapy. I’ve been looking into a grief group. Or if not, you should look into other therapy groups a bit away from where you live so you feel safe talking openly with someone that won’t interfere with your work life.

Stressbot profile image
Stressbot

Working in mental health alone can be incredibly draining and I can relate to putting on the 'bubbly' persona but that breaks a person. Do you see a counsellor or a psychotherapist? I'm a big believer in finding the right professional person to speak to to get to the bottom of whatever issue you may have. Also being on the same anti depressants for 20 years doesn't sound like its been the answer. You'll know yourself that people shouldn't really be on antidepressants for too long a period. Though I suspect in America they may be quicker to write up a prescription and not get to the root of the problem so much. It's worth speaking to a doctor and getting a game plan. Time for some change perhaps? When it comes to meeting people I'm personally going to try a kickboxing class which is so far out my comfort zone but i'm not remotely active and have issues with not knowing how to express anger. It's a female only class so its worth a try. Not sure if something like that would be suitable but you get the idea. I hope you're able to maybe try mixing things up as it sounds like you're in that 'hopeless' headspace. Although it doesn't feel like it now, you can do it. You can do it because as things stand now...you're not happy. I wish you the best

infanurse profile image
infanurse in reply to Stressbot

Thank you. Good luck with your kickboxing. The mental health resources here are limited and overtaxed. There is only one other mental health clinic. I would love to take dance lessons but I can’t find anyone that isn’t literally 100 miles away. Also, idk if I can overcome the social anxiety. Anyway, I hope things go ok for you. Thanks again.

Stressbot profile image
Stressbot in reply to infanurse

It's really shit hearing how people are still failed when it comes to mental health. I'm in Scotland and we have the nhs (for now) but there are so many cuts that the services available are failing people. I'm sorry you're in the position you are. I guess it comes down to what you're able to invest, which is ridiculous in my mind. Medical help shouldn't cost a person but no point getting into that. Do you have any local facebook groups or forums? There might be others in your area interested in dance classes?

Syllabus18 profile image
Syllabus18

Infanurse please try not to wallow in your shortcomings. Instead, I'd admire you for your honesty and sincerity in your dealings with us on this forum.

Syllabus18 profile image
Syllabus18

Everything that I've read about you so far tells me that you are not a fraud you are real person!

infanurse profile image
infanurse in reply to Syllabus18

I guess what my deal is-i want to “Live Out Loud”. If that makes any sense. I just don’t know how to start that process. I’ve been so exploit and shit on for so long that I have to learn who and what I am again. So much I want to do! I’ve found out just talking to you guys on here that I really DO have interests. Thank you!

Redeemed58 profile image
Redeemed58

Hey honey. It is exhausting to work all day and have nothing to look forward too. Sound like you don’t have anyone to talk to either. I’m so sorry you feel alone. There is such richness to be found in life though. Have you considered leaning into something that brings you joy or passion? Music, exercise, getting involved with a church? I often believe that when we find ourselves so focused on self, we tend to get too wrapped up in self. Prayerfully consider where you can gain an other focus drive. That could be the very thing to get the drive and excitement back in your life. In my life that for me was a complete commitment to Christ as my lord and savior. That decision changed every aspect of my focus on life. I will be praying for you!

AmbieBambie profile image
AmbieBambie

Hi, you are not alone. I am a single mom as well. My mom just passed away, and my best friend ( really my only friend) just disappeared when my mom passed. I’ve isolated myself to home watching my crime shows & just being with my son. At work I do the same, I put on this fake smile & act like I’m okay & it is so exhausting. I know I’m depressed & I have anxiety. But am allergic to multiple medications ( including 2 anxiety/depression meds). And now I’m having heart problems / shortness of breath & having to have a Ablation of my heart because my body can’t tolerate medication . I just feel so tired and alone. Thankfully this site has already helped me feel much less alone. As everyone says, stay strong ♥️

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