Any advice on how to live with anxiety?

I am 34 years old and now have no life. I can't work today because of my anxiety, and most people do not consider anxiety as a real health issue, and you should just pull it together and move on with life. But I freak out and get worried, so I don't deal with ANYTHING. That makes the anxiety worse. Like today, I woke up and felt like everyone at work is judging me or mad at me. I work for a small hometown restaurant, so I only work with about 10 people, Max. But I could not tell my boss that I couldn't come to work because I have anxiety. I even missed last week because of it and I lied and said my mom had a stroke. Not true at all. I cannot believe that I told them such a flat ass out lie. I have quit other jobs because I just could not get out of the car to go in, so I would just leave and never come back. But I can't believe that I actually said that my mother had a stroke. I have been worried also that they would find out that I lied since it's such a small town. I realize now, now that I have reflected on what I've done, that I desperately need help. I was supposed to be there at 11 am. But it's 12:15 pm and I'm sitting in bed, writing this. Someone? anyone out there? Please help. Has anyone ever done this before? Does it ever get better? It's been about 10 years since I have felt like myself. I don't make any decisions whatsoever about anything. I don't trust my own judgement, how can I expect others to?

11 Replies

  • There time don't wanna go work I work at fast-food their time were I juss got leave but my boss knows I also have doctors note were I can sit 15 min n do breathing exercises u should tell ur boss yes it's hard but one less thing on ur mind

  • Nyda, you have quite an understanding boss who allows you to have 15 min to do your breathing exercises. You are right though, it is one less thing on your mind to get you through the day. Take care.x

  • Ok first of all AV a meeting with just you and your boss and explain your situation, my boss was brilliant with me, I didn't think she would be but even tho she has never had anxiety she understood why I had to have 3 weeks off work and how hard it was to leave my house, I've had quite good support from my work colleagues and it's made me feeling better, even the regulars have been great. Honestly just tell your boss the truth, it will take aload off your mind which will help with the anxiety

  • Thanx for the awesome advice. I think I might actually be able to talk to my employer about this. If I would have read this and hour ago, that would not be an option, but my husband picked up my klonopin today, and it has calmed me down so much, I can finally breathe😥😳. My heart rate has slowed down, no hot flashes, no dizziness, and I can finally calm down, and think rationally. He was unusually very understanding of how bad it has gotten. I tell him a little, but not as much as I should. I know now that I CANNOT GO WITHOUT ANY MEDICATION. Which I didn't want to have to rely on it for the rest of my life, but at least there's something that can actually help me. The anxiety has not let up on me at all, it's not just an attack and then it's over, It's constant, all day, everyday. But I have finally got some relief, and I was even able to eat some pizza a minute ago, I have been starving, but couldn't eat because of the nausea, and hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight. Sorry the reply was so long, just wanted to let everyone know that there's always an option, just don't wait to get help until you're so sick that you can't even ask for help. You are absolutely right though. I truly appreciate your advice.

  • Thank you Agora1, you are exactly right, and wanted to let you know that I got my klonopin today, and I feel so much better. I did not go to work today, but I am definitely going to talk to my employer. Although, I am nervous about it, but who wouldn't be? I can at least think a bit more rationally, whereas, earlier, talking to them would not have even been an option for me.

  • Crazygirl33, I'm glad the Klonopin has made you feel better. I know what you mean about being able to accomplish more when we feel more rational. Good Luck. x

  • Glad your medication has helped 😄 Now take things step by step,ntheres no rush in anything, the more you try and start getting back to doing your normal every day life the better u will feel, believe me it worked for me n I feel great at the moment as I will not let this anxiety beat me or stop me from living my life,😄 X

  • Thank you. Melanie29. Last night my husband brought me my meds. He seemed to be understanding, but this morning, at about 5:30 am, he woke me up and started going nuts on me because I forgot to put the clothes in the dryer. He said I was useless and choked me, pulled my hair, said more horrible things and, then spit on my face. Of course I'm gonna have to leave, but I feel like he should be the one to leave. And he's so petty, he took my medicine. He does that from time to time to try and hurt me. I knew this was coming, he said that my anxiety was just an excuse to be lazy. This happens, (his temper) about once a month. I'm so sick of it. So I'm gonna have to leave my own house. And I have a 10 year old little girl to think about. When this has happened before he has tried to keep her from me. And he burned my clothes, pics, and other things of mine about 10 years agof, when I was pregnant with our daughter. This is last thing I needed today. He also took my keys to the car. There's more that happened, but I don't want to ramble. God, please be with me and help me to make the best decision for me and my daughter. He told me to leave my phone, also.

  • I know what it's like going through violence in a relationship, I too have been there myself with my sons dad, ripped my clothes up infront of my face. Dragged me out of my own home dragging me out the door with my feet and I was clinging onto the door frame, he grabbed my legs and yanked me to the floor landing on my stomach as I was pregnant. Your not alone, no wonder your anxiety is all over the place with everything going on in your life. Yes it should be him moving out but for the sake of your daughter and yourself and health just pack a few things and go to your parents or friends it next time he's at work or out so he can't stop you xx

  • I have been there!

    Please stay busy! Even when you don't want to do something you used to enjoy, go and do it.

    PleaSe know, when you worry about everything else around you, you have less control of what is going on within you.

    Much easier said than done, but it takes time!

  • Hi Crazygirl133. I understand how you feel and have been there. There was a point last year when I repeatedly called in sick to work and refused to go week after week and then stopped altogether. It took me nearly 6 months to sort things out and find enough confidence again to return to work and to tell my boss what was going on. The sooner you let them know what's going on, the better you will feel. Don't make up excuses. You'll find that most people will understand. After all, we are only human!

    You're co-workers are not judging you or mad at you. No one can just tell what someone else is thinking. These thoughts we have when we're anxious are completely delusional. And the way to challenge them is to substitute in cool, rational, positive thoughts that help you, and break from that negative loop that anxiety throws you into. You CAN make decisions for yourself and have been making them your entire life, but first you have to get back some control over your anxiety. It takes a lot of conscious effort, but you can absolutely do it!

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