Extreme social anxiety and general.. Is th... - Anxiety Support

Anxiety Support

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Extreme social anxiety and general.. Is there anything that can really help? Does this sound typical for social anxiety?

Pinkx profile image

Hi I believe I suffer from social anxiety as well as general. I've just been to my gp (finally, I'm now 28 and have been suffering all my life) and have been given contact details to see a specialist. I feel better now I've taken a step forward and can let this all out as I've never talked to anyone about this, but I also feel reluctant that anything could help this for me, as it feels ME now. I can't imagine taking everything with a pinch of salt, never getting worried and building things up, avoiding things, arriving At an interview still worried and nervous but Atleast been able to get there and talk. It's shaped my life and restricted it in so many ways, work, relationships, friendships. I'm just looking for support really and reassurance that others are going through similar feelings and that I'm not alone, and to ask what if any help anyone here's been offered that's improved things for them? Medication? Cbt? Does anyone believe theirs has began from a event in particular? And to also ask if anyone who has something similar finds that they are fine In certain situations ie if it's a smaller group of people or I personally find if someone is overly quiet /shy I feel more confident, is that normal? I'd like to hear other peoples thoughts and story's too :)

I've always been overly worried about everything, I read far too much into things and my main fear really Is receiving attention been looked at (this is why one to one is better for me, but even then I struggle ) familiar things are always better. I always make excuses for family meals , I have a fear of answering the phone even to family members (anyone other than my mum and dad) I've pushed friend after friend away, and any boy I've liked and talked to I've ran a mile when they suggest meeting. I feel like I can't possibly go on like this forever.

I always feel like I'm being watched, it's not just fear of big events or changes like interviews, driving tests ect that I more than struggle with (I suspect most people worry about these type of events in some way) it's everything.. Walking in front of people is a huge one, the thought of a birthday party been arranged for myself and having all eyes on me scares me, I'm terrified of planning a party for my toddler, I get all the physical signs of anxiety.. This mainly when something big or different comes up, but the intense fear comes daily like Going to the shops ect. I've never been on a date as I don't think I could actually bring myself to going when the time came around and I'd be unable to sleep. This has obviously had an impact on the type of relationships I have had. If anything I feel my anxiety has become worse with age, in ways. Yesterday and today I've been sat here with my heart pumping out of my chest worried sick (but there's nothing that should have me worried like this, no birthday party's coming up, meeting friends, events, nothing at all. It's started to just appear from nothing. Is this normal. Thankyou :)

5 Replies

I’ve been dealing with all the same things you have for about 13 years now. I finally opened up to my doctor about it about 3 months ago. I felt so good to finally talk to someone about it. She prescribed me a medication called Sertraline. And I must say it has defiantly helped on some of my thoughts and fears. It has slowed my thinking way down, I haven’t been worried about everything all the time, so I would say it’s defiantly helping me. I hope you find something that’s helps you. It’s not fun to live like this

I fully understand. I get like that sometimes. I am afraid of groups and presentations. I dont like going to restaurants and malls. I work through it everyday and I have to say I manage it. I have tried different techniques.

I like the fisher wallace equipment. I think it has some merit when used during times of higher anxiety. You just put the sponge electrodes on your head and let it pulse. fisherwallace.com/pages/anx...

Also .. I can stress enough about exercise. Getting out and enjoying the fresh air and trees. It is very important to disconnect from your thoughts

Lastly, medication. Yes it works and you have to find what works for you. Be honest about your symptoms and find the right meds for your course of treatment. In the short run maybe a benzo.. longrun maybe a anti depressant or combo of both. It depends on what YOU need. Dont be afraid to find the help you need.

You are not alone and good luck!

I’m actually going through something very similar. My doctor told me she suspected that have some sort of anxiety disorder and at first I didn’t believe her until I started noticing a lot of signs that pointed to both social and general anxiety (same as you). I’m planning to discuss it further with her at my next appointment. I’m trying to rack up the nerve to call and make one sooner but I’m not tipicaly fond of making phone calls (more like deathly afraid of them) and if I wait much longer it won’t make much of a difference (my next appointment is early January).

But anyway, I just wanted to say I’m going through the same thing!

I have some experience with anxiety also. CBT and other forms of therapy can definitely help and so can meds but like guynfl2chat said, you have to find what works for you so don't be upset if the first one you try doesn't work (and they also take time to build up in your system so you won't know right away either!). While it all seems normal to you for you, talking to someone about it and being able to express yourself will also probably be a relief as well!! Good luck - follow through on that appointment with the specialist!!!!

Hello Pinkx, you are indeed suffering from social anxiety disorder. Your symptoms of extreme self-consciousness and obsessing over everything and desperately trying to stay in control of your emotions, surroundings, other people's reactions, etc... are all typical symptoms. i suffered with it for years and am now recovered. Yes, at one time I was on meds and they did help some and helped slow down my ruminating and you might want to consider that route. I am now totally off of all of my meds, but i can say they did allow me to start feeling what "normal" was like although they did not eliminate my anxiety. There can be numerous reasons as to why you developed social anxiety disorder. Usually it is a number of cumulative events and not just one but it varies. In my case I was bullied as a kid, sensitive, raised in a strict religious household and my dad had undiagnosed and untreated social anxiety. i went for years clueless as to what i was really dealing with. i was later diagnosed with general anxiety disorder but realized a few years ago that what I really had was social anxiety disorder. Understanding that helped me make progress. People with social anxiety disorder generally believe that something is wrong with them, which is not true. It is maladaptive thinking and behavior that, for whatever reason(s), you learned as a defense in order to function. As an example, 4 - 5 years ago at the company I worked for, I was astounded to find out and realize how many people there actually liked me and valued me, I thought completely otherwise.

Social anxiety disorder is treatable and you can definitely recover but it is up to you. The best way is to find a therapist or center that specifically treats social anxiety disorder. Usually they also incorporate group therapy which is valuable so you can see how common this disorder is and how others learn and deal with it. Don't waste your time working with a general therapist, you need to learn specific skills and understanding to recover from social anxiety. If there aren't any specific social anxiety therapists in your area there are some good online programs available. Look at the socialanxietyinstitute.org and overcomingsocialanxiety.com, committing to and making the effort to recover is totally worth having a life.

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