I'm very new to this so bare with me... - Anxiety Support

Anxiety Support

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I'm very new to this so bare with me...

LadyQuin6 profile image
29 Replies

Hello, I'm Ash. I'm just going to be straight forward, I've dealt with anxiety and a lot of panic and depression for years. I always thought I was just crazy, or as some would say, that it's just an overreaction and things are fine. But things don't feel fine to me anymore. The older I get (and I'm not even 30 yet) the worse my attacks seems to feel and be and some times it made me feel embarrassed to even talk about to someone for fear they would think I'm being crazy. I was having a very bad attack recently which led me to look online for help since the few people I am close to were unavailable. Usually being alone really triggers my thoughts. And the smallest things seem to just set me off now. Not in an angry way, but simply panic. Then one thing leads to another and that panic grows to where I'm worried about everything as if my whole life is just crashing before me and the problem would be triggered by something as little as my home being messy. I've come for help and possible answers. I've never been to fond of the idea of medicine to cure these "illnesses" and so I have always refused that route. To sum it up, though I feel for those going through the same issue as I, it's comforting to know that I am not alone. That's why I decided to become a member and I hope it will help, even if it's just a little. I hope bonds can be built as well. It's nice to know you can make a friend especially going through the same issues.

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LadyQuin6 profile image
LadyQuin6
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29 Replies
Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Hi Ash (LadyQuin6) You have found the right place to come to where you will feel comfortable as well as safe in talking with men and women alike who are going through the same physical and emotional issues. I really think in not feeling so alone, so different, this forum, will help you know you aren't crazy and that you may over react to the simple things in life but that's because of the frustration of dealing with a chronic disorder.

There are many ways to approach Anxiety and you will learn from other's experiences in how they dealt with their issues. Take what may help you and ignore the rest. Since everyone is different in how they respond both to medication and using natural methods.

As we share our journey with anxiety, we do find others that we connect with much easier and so bonds are made. So Ash, I want to welcome you to the forum as a new friend. My best to you xx

LadyQuin6 profile image
LadyQuin6 in reply to Agora1

This is such a beautiful and humble welcome. Thank you so much for your open arms and understanding. It is truly appreciated.

AMIGOMAN profile image
AMIGOMAN in reply to LadyQuin6

Hi Ash !!!

It's nice to meet you.

I just read your post and I'm really sorry to hear about what your going through.

I'm also going through similar issues and I only just discovered and joined this forum just yesterday.

Just as you wrote earlier,

There are many other folk out there who are going through the exact same issues as you + I,

Some even worse than us !!!!

For me,

Just like yourself,

Just to discover and then begin reading and learning about what other people are dealing with,

It's amazing how that alone actually calms me down !

My problem is also major Anxiety and panic attacks which appear out of the blue.

This is having a very negetive effect on many aspects of my life,

Which was ALWAYS a much more happier, brighter + positive place previously compared to what it is now.

I agree with you about how the very smallest and simplest little trivial thought can very quickly spiral out of control and become a complete nightmare from Hell !

It happens to me too.

I have ALWAYS been a strong-willed person and always try to keep a positive mental attitude towards every aspect in life,

But in spite of my best efforts,

Anxiety is such a weird and twisted thing,

That it can affect even the best of us.

Anyways,

Welcome to the group Ash.

There are lots of really nice people here who are also suffering aswell.

Hopefully, you will learn, become healthier and happier and find lasting peace in life from now onwards from learning about other's and what experiences that they have shared with us all,

Which will become a very helpful tool for your path to recovery.

Trust me Ash,

I seen and been through ALOT !!!

There is ALWAYS hope.

There is ALWAYS help.

There is ALWAYS an answer for your problems,

You just need to keep positive and find out the methods that will work for you in particular, that's all !!

Please feel free to connect and share.

Please don't hesitate to shout me if you are feeling down or anything like that at all.

After all,

This is the beauty of the forum.

That you will be able to reach out and have somebody there to help,

When you need it most !

Take care of yourself and take it easy Ash.

I hope you are able to recover faster than you expect,

As do I.

Good luck Ash..........

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943

Welcome LadyQuin, your problem is the same as everybody else here though it may make itself known in different ways.

Fear. And the fear of fear. A thought or a symptom causes fear. The fear causes more anxious thoughts and symptoms. Which creates more fear. And round and round it goes. For years. And then we get depressed about our anxiety.

Hopefully on this forum you will find the way and the method to disperse the fear that you generate too copiously. Then you will recover no matter how long or deeply you have suffered. Even if your anxiety disorder is genetic if you can cure yoursrlf of one episode you can cure yourself of another. That counts as recovery.

So join us, we band of optimists, as we travel hopefully along the Yellow Brick Road to Recovery.

LadyQuin6 profile image
LadyQuin6 in reply to Jeff1943

Thank you so much! All this insight is amazing to learn and I am glad I am not alone. You are a very kind person and I thank you for your advice as well as knowledge. 🌼

Claire1992 profile image
Claire1992

Hi Ash, welcome to our community!

I am really sorry to hear you have been suffering from anxiety!

When my anxiety is elevated my OCD goes through the roof and everything in my house has to be in order. So you are definitely not alone there! Personally I think it’s because of the stress in my life which is out of my control, my mind can’t take control over those problems by problem solving or dealing with it so it tries to deal with it by taking full control over whatever it can, which in my case, making sure everything in my house is super clean and in order. Hope that makes sense.

I don’t take any medication either. Again, that’s my choice and I definitely don’t frown upon others who do. It doesn’t make me right and them wrong or the other way around. Everyone must work out what works for them as everyone is different.

Over the years I have had bad experiences (just like everyone) which has caused stress and panic attacks. Everyone is different I know and I want to make that clear and everyone must learn the signs and their triggers and learn how to help their body and mind out.

For me I stay away from caffeine, sugar, really just all processed foods. Especially when suffering from anxiety, the body has enough to deal with without putting processed foods into the mix.

I try to listen to “The Piano Guys” they are so talented and have created very upbeat, yet soothing music.

Burning oils such as lavender can be very calming.

Going for walks, even if it’s just around the block and trying to enjoy my surroundings - a great way to get my mind off my problems.

Please know you are definitely not alone and can come here anytime to chat. Please keep us updated on how you are feeling!

Claire 💐

LadyQuin6 profile image
LadyQuin6 in reply to Claire1992

This helps tremendously! I can definitely understand the point of not being able to control all problems so we focus on making sure the house, or something rather, is tidy and we'll kept. That makes perfect sense. Aside that, I do my best to keep my mind from thinking whether it be reading, writing or just going outside or to the store. So far this community as well as people like you have made this welcome more than warm and I am deeply appreciative by it. I hope you will be okay as well. ☀🌈🌼

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943

LadyQuin, you say you've been experiencing anxiety for many years. Anxiety usually starts after a period of stress, worry, overwork and/or disappointment. Eventually our nervous system becomes over sensitised and in this state it starts to play tricks on us.

It can exaggerate normal small worries into major fears, the normal wish to live a full term becomes magnified into a sense of impending death and doom. Nervous glitches cause severe feelings of panic. Aches and pains make us think we have heart disease or cancer. Stomach problems are frequent. But it's not physical illness it's our over sensitive nervous system which is very good at mimicing real illness.

Usually we go to our doctor who does blood tests and sends us for scans and back come the results saying 'Fine'. But we don't believe our doctor, we think he's missed something so we turn to Doctor Google who confirms we have every major illness under the sun.

This is called Health Anxiety, maybe it doesn't affect you, maybe you 'only' have panic attacks but forewarned is fore armed.

If your anxiety becomes overwhelming and you have work or family responsibilities it makes sense to ask your doctor for a course of anti-anxiety meds to give you respite and the opportunity to study the self-help techniques that will bring recovery without the need to be on meds for life.

The self-help method I am going to recommend is based on Acceptance and the suggestion that you stop fighting your anxiety. Fighting only causes more strain and tension and your nerves need less not more of that. You've been fighting your anxiety for years, has it brought success? Of course not.

Many anxiety therapists and self-help authors base their techniques on Acceptance and there are many good helpers and advisors out there. But the one I'm going to suggest to you first expressed her method in a book written long before you were born. She was an obscure Australian doctor who suffered from anxiety herself and she describes her Acceptance method in her first book written over 40 years ago. It remains available today and sells thousands of copies worldwide, if you check amazon.com and amazon.co.uk you will find a combined total of 600 reader reviews and 90% of them find her method Very Good or Excellent.

LadyQuin, I don't want to overwhelm you with a torrent of words and information so I'll let you take a break and will finish my post shortly,

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to Jeff1943

So I continue. Anxiety disorder is caused by nerves that have become over sensitised by fear. To recover we must learn to diminish the fear on which jangled nerves thrive.

Claire Weekes spent her adult life explaining that to recover we must do two things both of which are the opposite of what we've been doing until now.

We need to stop fighting the panic attacks and other symptoms of anxiety. We must surrender completely to it for the moment. We also need to frame our minds to accept the bad feelings for the time being. Agree to co-exist with them for just a while longer. Consider them an unwelcome guest in your home or an unwanted passenger in your car whom you just have to accept calmly and with the minimum of fear.

Of course it's uncomfortable. But you've put up with them for a long time now, you can tolerate them a little longer. Specially since you now know the symptoms sensitised nerves create are not physical: they are not life-threatening, 'anxiety' does not appear as a primary or secondary cause on any death certificate ever written. It cannot disable you and it cannot make you lose your mind. Anxiety is a fraud, a fake, a confidence trickster that organically doesn't exist. It is just a glitch in your nervous system. So why frighten yourself half to death for a nervous blip?

Instead accept it utterly. Imagine a rock on the shore and the waves of panic come one after the other. They crash against the rock and run harmlessly past it and the rock endures. LadyQuin, you are that rock.

Let the waves of anxiety come, you know you have nothing to fear from them. So accept them, pay less attention to them, attach less importance to them. When panic strikes imagine every muscle go limp, your body, your limbs, imagine there's even a large muscle in your head and feel that relaxing too.

It's hard to accept something and fear it at the same time. So as your acceptance increases your fear diminishes. And your nerves are freed from constant bombardment by fear hormones. So slowly they recover, not today, not tomorrow, maybe not even next week. But when they recover as they surely will you will regain your quiet mind.

I have attempted in a few paragraphs to explain the Acceptance method for recovery from anxiety disorder first expressed by the late Doctor Claire Weekes in her first short book titled 'Self help for your nerves' in the u.k. and 'Hope and help for your nerves' in the U.S. Both available new or used from Amazon.

You will soon recognise yourself in its pages. You will feel that she knows you as you read her words.

If you only read one more book in your life, LadyQuin, I suggest this is that book.

LadyQuin6 profile image
LadyQuin6 in reply to Jeff1943

If any one deserves the biggest hug, it's you right now. Your words as well as that of the late Doctor Weekes is incredibly mind blowing. You point out a simple step that I had completely forgotten and that is that anxiety is a fraud. It's so the point we lose ourselves to this unknown fear that we forgot to stand our ground and it then engulfs our mind, and soon after, our entire body within. Someone told me years ago that anxiety isn't something even real, it's just a towel thrown over our face and only we can let it blind us. But in all reality, we are the ones who can take the towel off and keep going. Though this may not "cure" anything right off the bat but I will keep practicing these steps, I will keep taking them. I over think so much it also creates anxiety and soon after, panic evolves into something that makes my whole world seem shook and out of place. It's scary when you can't get out of that hole and as if nothing can calm you until you yourself slowly ease your mind. My mind automatically thinks too deep into things and it's gotten so bad that I just can't sleep through the night and have constant headaches when I awake altogether. I feel like a walking zombie, as cliche as that may sound. I will have my good days but I also have my bad and they seem to overpower the good. I truly am doing my best to calm down though and talking to you and those that have been more than helpful since I've joined has been beyond amazing for me. I thank you so much.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to LadyQuin6

LadyQuin6, I knew you would find this forum amazing because of the caring ways of the people on it. Jeff1943, is one of those incredible people who never gives up :) xx

AMIGOMAN profile image
AMIGOMAN in reply to LadyQuin6

Hey !!

Just to say that I just read a post from Jeff1943 right now and I absolutely agree with you.

He really does put it Into perspective in the best possible way.

I felt so much better just reading and thinking about the methods and meanings to his EXPLAINATION .

I'm happy I found this forum now.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to AMIGOMAN

Hey AMIGOMAN, I'm happy you found this forum also. It's one of the better ones around. A lot of care, understanding and comfort come with our responses. There are many of us who have left anxiety in the dust. I happen to be one of them. Acceptance by Dr. Claire Weekes was my foundation. The only difference is that I had to find it on my own because there was no forum, there was no Jeff to guide me to the right path.

With the help of the forum AMIGOMAN you will be able to cut a lot of years of unnecessary suffering by just cutting to the chase in knowing what to do. Nothing happens overnight but anything worth while is always worth striving for. You've got the support of all of us behind you, helping each other, one step at a time.

You will be okay, it will all come together for you. You are never alone. ;)

AMIGOMAN profile image
AMIGOMAN in reply to Agora1

Hey Agora1 !!

Thank you very much for the lovely greeting and kind words.

I will definitely look into getting the reading material that you have suggested,

Sounds like a good place to Start for trying to make sense of what is wrong and how to go about trying to get a grip on the situation and stopping it from becoming any worse.

Thank you kindly,

Really appreciated....... 👌

AMIGOMAN profile image
AMIGOMAN in reply to Jeff1943

Hi Jeff1943 !

I just joined yesterday.

I just read your post to Lady Quinn and I must admit that your words are put across beautifuly.

I also am going through a whole range of terrible issues,

All being caused by extreme Anxiety and panic attacks which appear out of the blue.

I really appreciate how you are able to explain ways to keep calm with such fine detail.

I personally believe that it is this very detail that goes deep into your sub-concience mind and that's what actually begins to start the healing process.

All in all,

A very well worded and very positively written post from yourself.

Just reading that made me feel better.

Thank you Jeff1943 .........

AMIGOMAN profile image
AMIGOMAN in reply to Jeff1943

Hi Jeff1943 ....

Sounds very interesting and really look forward to learning more about the acceptance of Anxiety,as opposed to trying to fight it away etc.

Actually never looked at it in that way before and it definitely makes good sense and it's definitely a method that seems very relatable.

Thank you for your positive words and new input for me.

I'm really hoping that this is the way to go from here onwards....

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to AMIGOMAN

Hi Amigoman, thank you for your kind words but I merely pass on the words of a great teacher who devoted her life to helping people recover from anxiety disorder. Claire Weekes wrote her first book, the one I mentioned and the one that says it all, many years ago and her Acceptance theory broke completely new ground. Today there are many other good self-help authors around, many of them base their messages on acceptance and I have heard it said that her books describe what we now call Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

Her writing is not full of scientific terms, it is easy to read and understand though success takes practice and persistance.

Briefly, she advocated four imperitives:

1. FACE - by this she meant acknowledge that you have anxiety disorder, the doctors have not made a mistake and overlooked some physical cause.

2. ACCEPT - for the time being accept all your symptoms such as panic attacks and health anxiety, accept them calmly and with the minimum of fear knowing they are common, not life threatening and can be overcome.

3. FLOAT - this means carrying on with all your normal activities by switching on to a kind of 'automatic pilot' where you literally imagine yourself floating unimpeded through all your daily tasks, still accepting the bad feelings for the moment. Do what you fear and the death of fear is assured. Occupation is good for people with high anxiety as it reduces introspection and the tendency towards obsession with our symptoms.

4. LET TIME PASS - everybody wants a quick fix, a button to press that will make all the bad feelings disperse immediately. Sadly it does not exist and Acceptance takes time, just concentrate on co-existing with your anxiety for the moment and not allowing the flash of first fear turn into second fear. Do that and in the fullness of time the symptoms of our anxiety will yield.

I fear that my attempt to summurise Claire Weekes method does not do it justice so once again I direct you and others to her first book available on Amazon new or used for a few dollars/pounds namely "Self help for your nerves" (U.K. edition) and "Hope and help for your nerves" (U.S. edition).

Amigoman, you are most welcome here, as we 'know' each other but will always be anonymous we can safely share the secrets of our heart regarding anxiety - I hope this will be the beginning of your road to recovery.

Potcheroo profile image
Potcheroo in reply to Jeff1943

Hi, I first read this book thirty odd years ago when I first started with anxiety and I still refer to it now, it is so very very helpful and easy to understand, I would recommend everyone who suffers from anxiety to read it because there is something reassuring when you can actually see in black and white that someone knows exactly how you are feeling, and helps you to understand what is happening, can't recommend Claire Weekes enough ☺

AMIGOMAN profile image
AMIGOMAN in reply to Jeff1943

Hi Jeff1943 !!

Thank you kindly for the warm, friendly and informative message.

I am beginning to understand what you mean when you say "that you are not doing it justice", when referring to the teachings of the late Dr Weeks.

I say this as I have just joined 2 days ago and I have heard reference to Dr Weeks from a couple of people already.

So I can see how highly regarded the work and information about Anxiety disorder is being held.

The 4 basic rules that you have kindly put down for me are a very positive set of rules for myself to begin my new train of positive mental attitude towards hopefully learning how to overcome anxiety in a way that I hope will get rid of it from here onwards.

You are referred to with alot of respect on this forum Jeff1943.

That's a great thing to see,

As it assures me that there are people in this forum whom I can really learn from,

Because other people also speak highly of you.

I respect that you give credit for your knowledge to what you have learned to the books you have read by Dr Weeks.

Modesty reflects on good character.

And yes,

I definitely feel very welcome already,

Like a friendly family sort of feel.

Exactly what someone like myself appreciate's at an uncertain and nervous time like I have been going through for the first time.

It definitely helps when you are able to explain and open up and express inner anxiety ,

But as you pointed out,

"Know each other but still remaining anonymous" !.

Thank you very much Jeff.

Much appreciated........

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to AMIGOMAN

Thank you again, Amigoman. Acceptance is a simple idea but that does not mean it's easy. To begin with when practicing acceptance you may only be able to 'glimpse' it for a few minutes but that's a good start. With time and persistance acceptance becomes easier.

AMIGOMAN profile image
AMIGOMAN in reply to Jeff1943

Hi......

Yes, totally makes sense with what your saying about acceptance and the odd few out times and minutes that it takes in the beginning to start to understand and agree + accept a certain degree of it.

'EYE-OPENING' stiff for me tbh !!

Thank you for your understanding and good directionality.

Appreciate your experience....... 👌👌

kevoreally profile image
kevoreally

I have a post thats natural remedies that help me i would give them a shot especially since you dont like medications like myself ill link the thread for this site for you

healthunlocked.com/anxietys...

Some of these may work for you some may not but they are worth a shot

LadyQuin6 profile image
LadyQuin6

That is fantastic, thank you so much!

AMIGOMAN profile image
AMIGOMAN in reply to LadyQuin6

Hi Ash !!!!!

Just to say quick "Hi" and I hope you are doing better after joining the group.

I'm also a new recruit like yourself too 😀

I'm finding the forum very helpful, I must admit,

Which Is a great thing to have after going through nearly constant anxiety attacks sometimes.

It's brilliant to finally find some relief, y'know ?!

Anyways,

Wishing you all the best and really hope to see you improve with each day.......... ✌

LadyQuin6 profile image
LadyQuin6 in reply to AMIGOMAN

Oh so far so good! This site is amazing and so are the people. All do welcoming. I wish I joined sooner! Thank you for your concern as well :) I hope you have been holding up okay!

AMIGOMAN profile image
AMIGOMAN in reply to LadyQuin6

Oh glad to hear that.

Yes,

People are really nice and helpful on this site.

You are very welcome.

Keep up the good work.

I'm just learning about how to deal with Anxiety and panic attacks for different reasons.

I will definitely get there,

Sooner rather than later...lol

Thanks.

Tc.....x

Daniellesparkles profile image
Daniellesparkles

Welcome!

Isaack profile image
Isaack

Hey ash welcome to the group 😊 I'm sorry that you en dealing with that. The good news is that it's possible to live with anxiety and your not alone. Please feel free to express our concerns!!

AMIGOMAN profile image
AMIGOMAN

Hey everyone !

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy merry Christmas and Happy New year !!!!

Just recieved my 1st Dr Claire Weekes book (self help for your nerves)...... Brilliant.

Definitely helping .

Will be ordering more soon.

Take care of yourself guy's..... ✌

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