Really sad. Physical symptoms. Scared that this is more than anxiety

[IamhealedAmen]

Maybe I can pour out my heavy heart here.

I'm still a newbie here and if you take time to look at my previous post, you'll see that I listed that I'm experiencing a lot random symptoms, as well as all the test that I've carried out so far.

Update: since my last post I am still experiencing this. Mostly on and off.

The major reason for venting tonight is I've been at the ER for 8 hours now and yet to see a doctor. I stopped going to the ER since my CAT scan came clear and I was on the waitlist to see a neurologist.

So even when things got back with the symptoms I kept telling myself this too shall pass and it did.

However for the past 3 days now, I've been having constant breast pain, it comes on and go. And this has got me severely worried. I'm at the ER and yet to see a doctor. I just need someone to do a scan. My period is not due until 2 weeks from now, so ideally the PMS (tender breast) should be a week from now.

I've also been experiencing muscle twitch all over my body. I feel something vibrating and moving.

I've been in tears all day. I live alone in this country and that has been the most frustrating. I know God is with me and that's the only hope I'm holding onto right now.

I am also pleading for these doctors to do some sort of hormonal test for me. If all of these is due to hormone fluctuations. Cos I've been able to narrow down the symptoms to happen most times during my ovulation and during my PMS.

I dont have a family doctor still on the waiting list for one. Hence this has really been very frustrating.

For about a month I stopped checking Google for symptoms, and now I can't help it any longer.

I just want someone (these doctors) to test me this time and differentiate what is a real symptoms from the anxiety symptoms.

This is so tiring and I just want to cry!!!!😭😭😭😭

[Amz1987]

I hope they see you soon. It’s not pleasant to feel so awful all the time.

[IamhealedAmen in reply to Amz1987]

I hope so too.

Thank you for taking the time to write.

[Amz1987 in reply to IamhealedAmen]

You’re welcome, that’s a long time to wait without seeing anyone. I was in emergency this morning, I’ve been having vomiting/nausea no appetite, which is triggering anxiety making all the symptoms feel worse I’ve had a chronic cough for a few months my gp can’t figure out why so running a few tests. Went into emergency this morning after a night of feeling so deathly ill and vomiting/racing heart and chest pains this morning.

Emergency dr made me feel like I was making it all up and wasting their time. I have 4 kids and had to get my hubby to wake them all and take me in. It made me so upset to think someone would think that of me. She ran bloods and only thing that showed up was low phosphate levels and some white cells in my urine which they have sent off for cultures. Wrote a scrip for some tablets to up my levels and some anti nausea tablets. So have to go to my gp this afternoon to see if they can do anything else. She made me feel like a hypochondriac, I just want to feel normal again and have a dr take my seriously.

[IamhealedAmen in reply to Amz1987]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that you've been through all that.

It's so sad how these ER doctors treat patients. After waiting for 11hours to see a doctor, I finally spent 5 minutes with him and long story short, he said we cant do anything here at the ER. Youll need to go to a clinic for referrals for the various specialists.

I begged for even a 5 minutes scan to view my entire body and see what's going on, but nope. I just got back home now in tears. This is so unfair and unbearable.

I hope you feel much better. Sorry about that.

I am optimistic that we will be fine some day. I hope really soon.

[Amz1987 in reply to IamhealedAmen]

Oh wow all that time waiting for him to turn you away. How frustrating for you. Hopefully you can get into a primary care doctor soon so you can get the referrals you need. I’m lucky that it’s really easy to see a GP where I live, getting them not to fob you off though that’s another story. However my gp books out super quickly and I can only see her one one of the days she works so i missed out on seeing her today and had to see another dr in the practice and she wasn’t great but ordered a few tests.

Keep us updated I’m on here almost every day.

[IamhealedAmen in reply to Amz1987]

Hi Amz,

Thank you for the kind note.

Yes ever since all of these started its been really frustrating. And I guess that's why I can't tell the difference between what's real and anxiety anylonger.

I just wish someone would take me serious.

I begged the doctor and told him I dont want to gamble with my life.

One of them asked me if I have anxiety and I told him I think I do but it's not been clinically diagnosed.

And I guess that's why they turned me down.

I just wished my family were here.

I had a lot planned for the year, but I look on with Faith and Hope for a better tomorrow.

I hope you're feeling better?

[Amz1987 in reply to IamhealedAmen]

Yep I totally understand, I’m starting to feel the same way. I can’t tell what’s anxiety symptoms and what’s a real system anymore which is what is making my anxiety even worse. I hate this so much it’s debilitating at times and it seems like no one wants to help or it’s something you can just snap out of.

I’m feeling worse, I’m going to ask my dr for medication after all my tests get done (and presumably will come back normal) I need to be able to function for my children.

[IamhealedAmen in reply to Amz1987]

Hello Amz,

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this and it really hurts when no one is listening or no one understands that these things are real.

I am single and have no kids at the moment and it's so hard for me to take care of myself when going through all this. I keep wondering what will happen when I get married or have kids. How will I cope? So trust me I cant imagine you going through all this with your family.

I am praying for you and I hope you feel better soon.

Please keep us posted. (Hugs)

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Amz1987]

When I was at my worst and all I could do was hold onto bedspread and pray symptoms would stop, there were two songs I listened to all the time: “Even If” by Mercy Me, and “Rescue,” by Lauren Daigle. They helped me have faith to hang on and continue my treatment of meds and counseling.

[IamhealedAmen in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Hi LilyAnnepuppy,

Thank you for taking the time to write and for the encouraging words.

I will definitely look up the songs.

There's currently one song that I've had on repeat for about a week now. It's called "Still" by Hillsong. Another I've always been listening to is "Season" by Hillsong aswell.

I hope people find them encouraging.

I've been trying to really live up to my name "Faith". But at times it can be hard.

I'll do my best to hang on.

Thanks alot and hope you're feeling much better now?

Cheers

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to IamhealedAmen]

The “Even If” song really helped because it talks about believing even if I think I’ve been abandoned and my faith is lost

[IamhealedAmen in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thanks for letting me know about these songs. I've constantly had "Even if" on repeat and I'm listening to "Rescue" now.

The lyrics for both songs are so powerful and reassuring.

I knew I've heard about "MercyMe" band before. I just remembered I used to listen to "I can only imagine" when all of this started in April.

Thank you 🙂

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to IamhealedAmen]

I just downloaded the two Hillsong tunes and look forward to listening to them

[IamhealedAmen in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

That's great. I hope they encourage you. 🙂

[foxglove_pnw]

Sorry about how you are feeling and I am sorry it is taking so long for you to see a doctor.

I am going to look at your profile so I can get to know you more .

What breast is hurting you ?

I started having breast pain 10 years ago and after a mammogram I found out it was Costochondritis

Good luck please keep us posted !

[IamhealedAmen in reply to foxglove_pnw]

Thank you for writing foxglove. I appreciate it.

I spent only 5 minutes with the doctor after waiting for 11hrs. The ER said there's nothing they can do. They didnt even address the breast pain nor the twitches. He said since I'm on waitlist to see a neurologist, I should follow through for that. I requested a referral for a gynaecologist, he directed me to go to a walk in clinic. So in essence it would take me months to see a gynaecologist for my breast. How do I live till then? This is so heartbreaking and drenching.

It's my left breast.

Sorry to hear about that. I thought Costochondritis is a pain of the breastbone, correct? Mine doesn't feel like the breastbone. Although the pain radiates from my back shoulder to my breast at times. This is really scary and worrisome. Coupled with other symptoms I've been feeling 4 months ago. I dont know how else to piece things together.

Sorry for ranting so much.

[Amz1987]

Have you been seen yet hun?

[Sallyderek]

Hi I can relate to lots of your symptoms and most of it comes down to chronic anxiety. I would get that vibrating through my body and in my head when I turned my neck. Anxiety really enhances any pain you may have and I found noise would scream and vibrate through my ears and really make my teeth hurt. I'm on Venlafaxine and pregablin and at night I I take trazadone. This all really help with the anxiety and all the pains xx

[IamhealedAmen in reply to Sallyderek]

Hi Sallyderek,

Thanks for writing. Very much appreciated.

The problem is I haven't been clinically diagnosed of Anxiety so no one is ready to listen to me in that direction.

I dont have a family doctor so it's been more complicated.

I have been learning to live with this since my CT scan came clear in June, but with the recent twitches and breast pain, I've been a lot worried hence the reason I went to the ER today and yet came back with no answers.

I'm guessing all of these drugs are prescribed, and not over the counter. Correct?

[Sallyderek in reply to IamhealedAmen]

Yes they are all prescribed, maybe you need to get a family doctor and go down the route of anxiety X

[IamhealedAmen in reply to Sallyderek]

Getting a family doctor here is so hard. There are people on the wait list for 2yrs plus and yet to get one.

I've "only" been for 5 months. Which for me is a long time, but they said its "only".

I just pray things get better soon.

Thank you, Sally. 🙂

[Sallyderek in reply to IamhealedAmen]

That's shocking, where do you live x

[IamhealedAmen in reply to Sallyderek]

Yes It is.

I live in Canada. Some provinces are better than the others, but they're almost on the same scale.

I'm thinking of finding a new job and relocating to another province but I dont even have the mental strength and energy.

Thank God for seeing me through my current job. It's hard when I have to mask all of these symptoms and people believe that all is well with me.☹

[Sallyderek in reply to IamhealedAmen]

Yes a new start could be just perfect. It may seem impossible right now but try and make a plan then follow it. Change can only come from ourselves so start researching new areas of Canada and work prospects. Good luck xx

[IamhealedAmen in reply to Sallyderek]

Hi Sallyderek,

Thank you very much for the encouragement and motivation. I'll work on a plan and will keep the hope alive that it will succeed and get better.

Thank you.

[FrankinHealth19]

Hey IamhealedAmen,

Do you also feel neck, back, and shoulder pain along with your breast pain?

[IamhealedAmen in reply to FrankinHealth19]

Hi Frankin,

Thanks for writing.

Yes I do. Mostly the neck pain and back of head pressure.

Shoulder pain and arm pain is once in a while.

Then the back pain is usually the lower back and that's one of my PMS.

Do you experience this too?

[TrustnGod]

Hello IamhealedAmen. I know I’m late but I had to post because I truly feel your pain. I go to the ER or Urgent Care with every little symptom I get and every time, my tests come back clear. My symptoms include chest pain that radiates to my arm, problems with breathing, weakness in my body, stomach pain, weird sensations in my body, inability to swallow, muscle twitches, intense itching, headaches, lightheadedness, facial pressure, and the list goes on. I’ve been to the ER (many different ER’s for different opinions might I add) and various specialists for all of those symptoms and everything has come back fine.

Unfortunate, we have to realize that ER’s really are only for emergency situations and while it may feel like it, anxiety attacks/anxiety aren’t life threatening. It’s frustrating because we constantly go back wanting them to fix us but because we’re healthy, but have really sensitized nerves, they can’t fix us. I’m not sure where you live but if you live in the US, I’d try going into an urgent care next time you have something you feel needs medical attention. Not only are they cheaper then ER’s but they’re also better with long term follow ups. Think of them like glorified primary care physicians (actually, many of their offices act as primary care facilities and treat the same patients on a regular basis!). They’re also able to do testing and can set you up for different things like scans. They also know when you’re having a situation that does need the ER, and will send you there straightaway. They’ll be able to do so much more for you than an ER can (don’t get me wrong, ER’s are great places but not when you keep going in for anxiety attacks) and some can follow up with you on your care.

You’re going to be just fine. Trust that God has you because who better to trust with your health and life than the one who made you?

~Lia

[IamhealedAmen in reply to TrustnGod]

Hi Lia,

First I'm so sorry for the late response

I've been offline for a while.

Beautiful moniker, I must say.🙂

Your notes brought tears to my eyes, especially the last part of knowing and trusting that God has got me. God has got us! I believe so, and trusting that this too shall pass.

Thank you very much for the kind notes. And yes, I experience every of the symptoms you listed. All of this started suddenly in April which is why I've been so very concerned as I've never experienced such before now.

Now I'm getting severe breast pain 2 weeks to my period, this has occurred July and August, which is why I'm even more scared, worried and flared up.

I live in Canada and thankfully health care is free here so I haven't paid for all the tests and ER visits. But then it's a trade off as it's a poor health system especially in the province I live in.

I miraculously got a family doctor last week Thursday. It was indeed a miracle as I went into a clinic, crying and begging for a referral to see a gynaecologist and the doctor looked at me and said "I feel your pain (especially seeing that you live alone) and will do you a favour, we have a doctor starting here next week, (this week) I'll put your name as one of the patients he'd take."

I don't know how I started crying.

I met the family doctor for the first time on Monday. We had a meet and greet and he has scheduled me for next Monday for physical evaluation. I am so scared, worried and Monday feels like a year from now already. I really pray everything goes well. If after the breast scan, ultrasound etc everything is fine, I'll accept that this is all anxiety and will begin dealing with it as such. I have told the doctor I wont be taking any of the drugs they had prescribed until I can know the root cause.

I'm for treating the cause not the symptoms.

Sorry for the long notes. Can I ask when did you begin to experience these physical symptoms? What event triggered it?

Thanks once again and God bless you!♥️

[TrustnGod]

Oh and last thing, I’ve realized that my symptoms are a result of anxiety using this one rule. If the previous symptoms I had are gone and/or I’m not scared of them anymore, and now a new symptoms is happening and I’m scared, it’s most likely anxiety. Once something isn’t bugging you anymore, a whole different set of problems will arise. Anxiety is a beast but not a beast that can’t be slew.

[IamhealedAmen]

Right! I agree with this rule. I used to have severe back of head pressure when all of this started in April. It went away in June after my CAT scan came clear. However it's been hovering around since July when I started having the breast pain cos my thoughts are so clouded and I'm having a lot of what ifs.

The muscle twitches also suddenly started end of July. These are new symptoms that just sort of bothers me.

Btw, the doctor at the clinic (the one who got me a family doctor) said this is possibly fibromyalgia. I said how can you know for sure if no test is carried out? Anyways I am praying that God uses my family doctor as a vessel to bring me back on a path to recovery.

Thanks and hope your weekend is coming up well! Take care ♥️