Cant sleep thinking alot

I had a fight with my fiancie about the wedding date , we are arguing since forever because of his family and i am having second thoughts about him but i love him , but i cant take his family and everything I dreamt off when i was a kid for my wedding is going to waste because they are planning it , he is not taking control and i dunno if i wanna marry someone like this he says he loves me and he doesnt wanna lose me but i do everything for him and he doesn't do much and he is so cold he didnt decide on a date yet because of his family and didnt care about mine. Because his mum didnt have a big wedding then i shouldnt this is so unfair ! And i ate a xanax im a bit chilled but i just want to sleeep and i cant !

[Agora1]

Hi SarSarZ, It is something for you to think about but not when you are trying to get to sleep. You have some genuine concerns over the wedding regarding his family. Love doesn't always conquer all. When you marry your husband, the family is a big part of that marriage. A son for the most part has 2 loves in his life. His new bride and the mother that raised him. It just makes life simpler when you get along with the in-laws. Think about this with a clear fresh mind in the morning. Now is the time for your mind and body to rest. Let the Xanax work in calming your thoughts. Goodnight. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I love his mum thank youu ❤️

[Claire51]

There is a old saying A Sons a Son till he Takes a Wife , a Daughter is a Daughter for all of your Life. My Son Got Married This Year and due Too my Anxiety Panic Agoraphobia , I was not Able to Attend the Wedding. They Both Knew how Difficult it is for me to get anywhere . yet they really wanted me to Go!! Well then they should have arranged wedding more local, to enable me to attend. But i took View she wanted a fairy tale wedding and it is their Day if people can not attend that is unfortunate But ultimately it is for the Couple getting Married to make their own choices and have the Best Day they Can have for this once in a lifetime commitment . His family should not be trying to Run the wedding , unless they are paying for it all. But that still does not entitle them to choose a date , if should be a date set between you and your partner. I would suggest you and your fiance choose your own date for your own special reasons. If his family want you to join the Family then they should accept and respect your choices. Or just call it all off and live together and save up for a while make all your own arrangements and send invites to both his and your family. If they can come then all well and good if they can not then tuff, but you both need to show unity and have your Wedding the way you want it too be xxxxx

[Hidden in reply to Claire51]

Thank you so muchh ❤️

[Pudding098]

Agora1 is right best for fresh thinking for tomorrow. But i really think your the only person who can answer if your really ready to get married and if he is the one. I got married for very good reasons 2 years ago, he had a bit of a nightmare of a family. Exactly a year after we wed we seperated purely because i realised the good reasons i had to marry him, werent the right reasons for me. I wasnt in love with him and i knew it before he even proposed, i just didnt want to admit it to myself. I came up with excuses and i loved him very much just not in the right way and didnt want to hurt him. I think as well it could have been too rushed, we were young and not ready for marriage really whats the harm in pushing the date back to build the relationship up even stronger so you can be ready to face the in-laws together. So please be honest with yourself for both of you. If you are in love with him you need to have a nice long one to one with no distractions tell him how you feel and let him tell u how he feels. I believe it should be your (both) day, but the worlds not perfect and maybe you might need to compromise a little. For example. Agree they can can pick the date but you get to choose whether its a big wedding or intimate or the colours and bridesmaids etc. At the end of the day whats important isnt the big dress and party its that 2 people love each other and your getting married you can always renew your vows later and throw the biggest party ever.

[Hidden in reply to Pudding098]

Hey , i come from a beduin culture where its traditional marriages , we broke the norm and we fell in love and wanted to get married , but his family are being very picky and think that their choice is better for him than he choses his wife , in our culture the familes pick the date not me and him but his family is not compromising for mine so thats what bothered me

[SpeaktheTruth in reply to Hidden]

I was going to answer your post, but after seeing the culture your are from and reading about them, I can only wish you well. As a female and the bride, it seems like you have no choice other than to go by what his family says. I don’t know how he would react, but you should let him know how you feel you and your family are being treated. Maybe he can explain to his family and get them to go more along with your wishes.

[Hidden in reply to SpeaktheTruth]

I did and he told them its my choice and his and hope it goes well from there because his family is paying for the wedding thats why they are picking the dates but my family want to pick too but i told them to compromise and its just a matter of time we will be together thats whats imp

[Indigojoe]

SarSar, if you marry the man you marry his mother TOO.

It's OK to postpone an event if you need more time.

[Hidden in reply to Indigojoe]

I love his mum , but his aunts are horrible

[Claire51]

I wish you both all the Very Best and i am So Very Pleased You both fell in LOVE. It is soo good you Love his Mum, she is important , his Aunties thankfully will not interfere , Once you are both Married . I Wish You Both a Happy and Joyous Marriage , be brave and not realising you had a Culture to Observe, I think 1 Day out of the Thousands of Day you will Share During your Many Happy Years of Marriage, You should be able to Trade for the Man you Truly Love , perhaps bare that in mind , during the Wedding Celebrations that you will both be Together After and so much in Love '' as that will last forever'' xxx

[Hidden in reply to Claire51]

Thank you so much , all love to you ❤️