Mentally exhausted 😩

[Jmerrick22]

I need help , I really don't know what to do . I'm 24, gay and I've met the love of my life . I'm an only child and my mother lives with me. Every time I wanna spend time with him or go somewhere I get a guilt trip and shelll start screaming at me and saying all kinds of things. She hasn't even met this boy yet because I'm afraid of bringing him to my house because of how she is. He is such a nice guy works, supports him and his mother and sister, he treats me like a king and never did anything to me . Yet she will call him a troublemaker a scumbag and all these names. I really don't know what to do . She will keep telling me I have a family too and stop letting him brainwash me , all because I wanna spend time with someone other than her. I can't stand this . She's making me feel like I have to chose between her and him , and I won't do that. I feel like I must not deserve happiness and my depression is starting up again . Someone anyone any advice ? I really don't know what to do . Yesterday she laid in bed all day and said she's depressed and tries blaming me .

[Hidden]

Put your foot down, regardless of gender and sexuality your mother see's him as a threat. She's your mother but forgive me for saying she is also one hell of a selfish woman. This is your life and you have to take a stand for what you want, not what's best for your mother. If she plays the tears then let her, she can have two sons or none at all and you need to stand up to her and be a man about it!.

[Jmerrick22 in reply to Hidden]

It's pretty sad at 24 that your parent makes you cry lol

[Jmerrick22 in reply to Hidden]

I do stand up to her but it does nothing she turns everything around on me . She has health issues and doesn't have. Income or a car so she's fully dependent on me .

[Hidden in reply to Jmerrick22]

It reminds me of Norman Bates from psycho. NORMAN !! yes mother ?!. You've let her get like this because she knows what works. You're going to have to bite your lip and be hard on her, let her turn it and just agree it and get on with your life, she is a bitch.

Sorry, I know she is your mum but she is a Bates mum.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Oh TimTim22, you just gave me the chills

[Hidden]

Hello

If you are an only child and it has just been you and your Mum then it sounds very much like she feels under threat and I doubt it would matter who it was the fact is someone else has got your attention is making her feel she could loose you and no she should not react like she does I do wonder why she is though has she got fears or issues of her own ?

I think if you can at some stage maybe when she is not reacting you can try and sit her down and tell her she will never loose you but as you only want her to be happy you would have hoped that is what she would want for you and even though no one can take her place this person also does make you happy and you wish she would just give him a chance because it could be that she gains another Son if she would only get to know him

If she point blank refuses it maybe at 24 if you want a life and your Mum will not allow it that you don't have to choose between your Mum and your Boyfriend but you may have to choose if in the long run you will be best living with your Mum or trying to set up living somewhere on your own

Hope you manage to sort out something but remember like a child throws his toys out the pram . tells Mum that they don't love them any more all in a temper tantrum and they don't really mean it , it is because they can't get their own way , this is similar to what your Mum is doing , why ? I hope you get to the bottom of that question and can move forward

Take Care x

[Jmerrick22 in reply to Hidden]

This makes a lot of sense . I mean it's either accept him or lose the one she has because of her attitude

[Jeff1943]

Maybe keep it simple, jmerrick22, and tell your mother does she know she's driving you away and in danger of losing you. Sometimes keeping it brief concentrates the mind.

I congratulate you, jmerrick22, because with all these problems with your mother I note you've still found time and mental effort today to advise and offer help to others with problems.

[Jmerrick22 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you 😊 I love helping others over myself .

[Nicki1984]

Hi this is a sad situation. Your mum needs professional help. You need healthy boundaries in your relationship with her - she shouldn't be projecting her problems on you but it sounds like she is scared and needs help to become a bit more independent. Are you in a situation to move out so you have your own space and a healthy boundary? Your young and should be living your own life this does not mean you don't care for your mum. Get her some help. Good luck x