To be clear I've always had some degree of anxiety growing up. However it got worse one year out of no where. I got counseling but it didnt go well. Since i remember I've always been claustrophobic, hated elevators and airplanes as a kid. Sometimes it was manageable, but barely. I was also socially anxious and felt detatched from my family and like everyone was judging me. It wasnt until one day after i smoked weed that put me into a terrible panic attack that terrified me and then followed by some dpdr for the rest of the night. Ever since then my mood goes up and down but im always anxious and panicked. I now Always have intrusive thoughts that i cant turn off, lately they've been about eternity (which the thought of petrifies me) and exsistence and the world around me. I know these are symptoms of dpdr and anxiety. Even though I can think about logically, i still cant get over them. I keep having negative thoughts that I'm too messed up and I'll never get better. Or that I've messed up my mind forever from smoking. I cant see myself leaving this house or starting a life of my own. Im just too scared to do anything.