Just finding out about Depersonalization

[lindseyleigh615]

So, I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember. Nothing to the extreme but I definitely have my moments. My doctor actually prescribed me Adderall to help me focus on whats at hand rather than racking my brain about everything else going on in life. I haven't been on it long & prefer not to be on any sort of medicine but thought why not? Some days it seems to help & some days not so much. Aside from that, I notice that at times (even long before being put on medicine) my brain will feel extremely foggy, I'm unfocused, literally catch myself staring off in a daze, not being able to find the correct words when talking to people & strangest of all.. feeling like I'm legit high. I feel like my thoughts are outside my head & my movements aren't always me. I don't use drugs & haven't in a very long time. (That was even minimal back in my wild days) But I thought I would ask good old google if that could be what's affecting me even many years later. Case was, it's unlikely. Well, today I came across Depersonalization. Pretty much hit the nail on the head. It brought tears to my eyes because I realized I'm not alone in feeling this odd way. I haven't told anyone because they'd think I'm crazy. But after doing some research I opened up to my boyfriend about it & he was extremely supportive & said we'll do whatever it is to help me kick it. I didn't have the best childhood growing up & it says it could potentially stem from that. As of now, I'm extremely happy, have an amazing boyfriend, son & family. I have your normal every day stresses (work, kids) & then some added heavier stresses (taking care of family & their health issues) So, I'm wondering why I get such strong "anxiety" sensations. I try to talk myself out of it but it rarely works. I feel like my head is wrapped in cotton & I'm floating sometimes with a million thoughts racing in my head & other times.. just blank. I'm really curious to know if anyone can relate to this & what you do about it. Thanks in advance

[HopingCat]

I been wondering the same for 4 months now dealing with this hell depersonalization/derealization. Just came out of nowhere and like you I was happy, just normal life anxiety, awesome husband and kids and all of a sudden I get hit with this HELL. I'm still trying to find the cure. It's horrific.

[lindseyleigh615 in reply to HopingCat]

Horrific it is! No matter how much you tell it to go away, it almost gets worse. It's scary not being in control of all your thoughts. I read that medicine doesn't really fix it but talking to someone can help & now that I have a name to explain what I'm going through, I'm going to try & find someone. Have you tried this?

[HopingCat in reply to lindseyleigh615]

I have. My psychiatrist keeps saying these are dissociative episodes do to panic/anxiety. I keep getting attacks. Where I could be fine and all of a sudden I started feeling like my soul is leaving my body. And it sounds as freaky as it feels. Then my eyes get this weird vision that makes everything seem and feel fake like in a dream. So I'm a mess and I keep telling her and she just keeps shoving medication. I hate medication. Especially since I know there's no cure. For 4 months I been living like I'm in a bubble. 24/7 contact fear and feeling like I need to run from some imaginary danger. With 3D dream vision that sends me to panic all the time. It's hell.

[lindseyleigh615 in reply to HopingCat]

Have you thought about a second opinion? I understand medicine can help but when you're off & on it can throw it even more out of wack. It sounds like total hell. Mine isn't that vivid. Mine is more of like a day dream literally from the time I wake up until I eventually fall asleep. It's like I can see myself overthinking & keep trying to tell it to stop. I feel like I can't enjoy what's going on around me Bc it's so constant. Does it make you irritable? & what about your energy level? It's made it even hard for me to go out & play with my son. It literally consumes everything.

[HopingCat in reply to lindseyleigh615]

Yes it does. I have no energy at all. I just forced myself to do everything and yes it feels like a day dream. My intense 3D vision makes everything feel like I'm in a dream. And even the lights.

[May04]

Yup I'm dealing with it. Worst symptom of them all I believe

[precious88]

Hi all.. I had dp Dr n it got okay... few months back I had panic attack n it just returned n literally killed me this time... it's derealisation m scared to leave My home.. N get disoriented at time of high anxiety and can't seem to remember places don't know what to do

[Abadar]

Don't worry. I am living with depersonalization/derealization since 1987 at least. Nothing bad will happen to you trust me. It will become your "true self". CBT definitely helps. Try writing the abusive, stressful hard times in childhood, make a list and try reliving them. In the beginning it would be a torture, then you will start defeating the bully who regularly beat you in school, the parent who made your life miserable, and so on. Enlist your phobias, face these and defeat these. You will improve 30-40% by self treatment if you can't afford CBT sessions. Start it. You will find a lot of help on net. Paid as well as free. It is on NHS website as well.

By the way I am a doctor myself.