Health anxiety and hope: I laughed for the... - Anxiety Support

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Health anxiety and hope


I laughed for the first time in months on Saturday. I laughed out loud and freely. I had a water fight with my son and partner and for half an hour I was me again. I felt joy in something I felt the wind dancing over me the sun caressing me and a lightness in my heart. It was beautiful! I had a panic attack shortly after half an hour because I've not felt these emotions in so long I assumed that these feelings were wrong and my body was trying to tell me I was dieing again. Today I rode my bike to and from my sons school, something I've not dared to do in months. I have cooked four consecutive meals for my family and I have only checked my pulse a handful of times in the last few days which is a wonder for me as I used to check it at least a handful of times an hour. Yes I'm still having panic attacks and yes my body is still reading every small feeling as catastrophic but I have hope. I have hope that I am going to learn how to accept these feelings and once I have mastered that I know a whole new battle is going to ensue. I have no false hope that I will wake up and never have strange feelings but I do know that if I keep trying to accept them for the fear that they are I will learn to not make a huge thing out of every twinge until i know I won't give them a second thought. The days will get better if we allow them too and I'm ready for better days. I am ready to laugh in the sunshine. I am ready to build memories with the people I love and most of all I'm ready to live and not just survive. Be proud of your accomplishments because those baby steps you're taking now will become leaps before you know it. I am still taking baby steps and I am proud of myself for having the willing to start small. Big dreams come from small thoughts :)

16 Replies

Emest86, keep doing what you're doing and you will win. You had a glimpse of the prize and it's wonderful to be alive again and back in control of your life. Keep strong. x

Emest86 in reply to Agora1

Thank you agora1 :) and I wish you all the best too :) x

That's wonderful 💕💕💕💕

Emest86 in reply to Joimom16

Thank you joimom16 big hugs x

Beautiful that you're seeing the REAL possibilities of living a full, successful, and meaning life!! Keep your head up 😁

Emest86 in reply to arymichele

Thank you arymichele:) and back at you :) x

Amen u give me hope..

Emest86 in reply to b_blessed_07

Thank you b_blessed_07 I wish you success over your struggles. Big hugs xx

What a truly heart-lifting post, thank you! x

Emest86 in reply to asenath

Thank you for replying asenath I'm glad that it made you smile :) big hugs xx

Well done you are enjoying life and accepting the anxiety you are well on the road to happiness .

Emest86 in reply to jessiejakes

Thank you jessiejakes that is the plan and I hope to keep having little accomplishments until I am well again :) take care and big hugs xx

This made me soooo happy!! Thank you for sharing!! xo

Emest86 in reply to duchess1226

Thank you duchess1226 I'm pleased it made you happy:) I hope that it gave you thought as to what things you have done to be proud of because we are all amazing and we will get well again :) big hugs xx

duchess1226 in reply to Emest86

This is why I keep visiting this site...we are such a great support to one another and yet strangers. Somehow we are the nest people to help one another thru the situation. :) I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I know I will get there. xo

Wonderful post full of hope & positivity. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work. Take care. Peace be with you.

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