Understanding anxiety

Hey, hope everyone doing okay today!

Has anyone else experience anxiety for many many years and has a full understanding of what is happening and why it's happening and also an understanding of what they need to do in order to get on the road of recovery however this is where they struggle? I understand it all but it's like I don't have the belief or self confidence, self esteem to do it? This is really holding me back!! I can't seem to face it head on and accept the thoughts and feelings, even taking the smallest steps seems impossible :-/ x

9 Replies

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  • Hiya

    You have just read my mind. Its really frustrating isn't it! Ive suffered from anxiety for over ten years now and I'm currently going through therapy to try and sort it all out. I too understand what its all about, why I'm suffering from it and have never been so self aware in all my life. I'm working with my counsellor on my confidence, self belief etc, but like you I just can't seem to accept everything and move on. Its like I'm so stuck in the anxious behavioural patterns that it seems safer to stay like this than change my behaviour, move on and start living my life properly ...:( why would you do that to yourself?? :/ how are you feeling today about it all? Do you have any coping strategies for when you feel really negative and low? I find running is a great release for me ... Seems to work and snaps me out of my negative thinking - just wish it had a more permanent effect!! Xx :)

  • Hi GeordieGirl,

    Thanks so much for replying x That's exactly how I feel, it's like I've completely forgotten how I was before the anxiety and so I stay in the anxious behavioural patterns too :(

    I'm okay, although I have felt funny all day today, really irritable, wobbly on my legs, extremely tired! How's about you? I dont feel like I do any have coping strategies at the min, mainly trying to breath and think happy thoughts, however I seem to have fallen in to a state of really low mood and so at the moment I'm finding it very hard to be positive!!

    Defo, they say exercise is really good dont they? I would give running a go if i had someone to do it with, most of my anxiety lies around being on my own, I dont like my own company so wouldnt manage it on my own at the moment. This could def be a future goal though :D Do you have any coping strategies? xx

  • Running is one of my coping strategies, but I find gardening really relaxing too and my anxiety seems to go away - i think going outside and getting into the fresh air works wonders - seems to blow all of my cob webs away anyway!! :) Do you have a local running club or gym near by - sometimes they have classes for beginners. I met my running partner at the gym and it really turned my life around regarding my anxiety. I entered a 10k race and gave myself a goal that I was going to be fit enough to complete the race, it took me 3 months but I did it - it took my mind off the worry and anxiety and it was the best feeling in the world.

  • Thats brilliant!! I know I definitely need to do more exercise as its meant to be really good for your mind as well as your fitness!! I've got myself into a rut which I need to get out of!!

    When does your anxiety effect you? Does it stop you doing anything? x

  • I was just about to say exactly the same thing , it's like you're talking about me too. I feel just the same, it's so frustrating and very difficult to feel that you will never move on from this ? I've seen several different therapists over the years , including the really unhelpful 6 weeks generously offered by the NHS ,!! and although it is all useful in helping me to try and form an understanding of what is happening and to find coping strategies , all that it left me with was the feeling that I had been able to empty my 'bag' all over the table ,as it were, but not able pack it all away again ,!! does that make sense ?.

    Recently I've started to say to people , who don't really understand my anxiety, 'do you think I would actually choose to be like this?' and although that doesn't help them to understand me any better , it has led me to the same conclusion that you mention in your blog , that feeling that something is just stuck.-Which doesn't sound like an answer to anything but it has been the stepping stone for me to ask myself what the hell is going on here then ? This has led me to try hypnotherapy and I have just had my 3rd session this week. I'm not saying this is a cure and it won't be everyones cup of tea, but for me anyway , so far so good. I have always thought that my 'stuck' place must be locked deep inside my unconcious mind , and thats why I feel so powerless to change. I could talk about it for hours which would bore you stupid, so in a nut shell just to say that for me its making a lot of sense , at the moment and hopefully this will help in time. :-)

  • Hi Mum4, thanks for replying x Thats exactly how I feel, I've also seen many therapists and felt like its given me then chance to really open my heart and talk about my difficulties, learn what's happenng and understand anxiety but I cant seem to use the coping strategeries to make me face the anxiety head on !! I have also said that to people, cos you feel like its something you're not in control of, very difficult to control your thoughts and feelings!!

    I tried one session of hynotherapy a couple of years ago, I couldnt relax and so stupidly gave it up thinking it wouldnt work. Maybe I should look into that again as I too feel like something deep inside my unconscious mind is stopping me from recovering!! Dont be silly, you're not boring - its actually quite refreshing (although not nice to hear people are feeling same as you) to know people feel similiar and hopefully we can help eachother!!! x

  • I would give the hypnotherapy another go ,but it has to be when you are ready, I've been like this for years and have only just decided on this as a way forward,it's as if I haven't been ready before now. So maybe you need to feel like it''s the right time before you try it . Also the lady I see was highly recommended by a friend of mine and the moment I met her I felt comfortable with her, I don't think it would work if there wasn't a connection there. I went into my first session fully believing that it would not work because I'm the worlds worst relaxer, but as soon as she had counted to ten my heart stopped pounding , my breathing was fine and I just sat there, it was like my mind emptied ( which as you know is something that never happens with anxiety) , it was very strange but also a relief , its like a little time of freedom. The next day , for the first time in years I didnt wake up with that awful stomach wrenching fear and I haven't since. I'm not saying my anxiety has gone away because I have lots of anxious behaviours that need to be unlearned , but just for that not to be the first thought when you open your eyes seems like a step forward. It feels like this maybe is something that I can beat , and I haven't felt like that in a long time !

    I hope if you decide to give it a go that it works for you too.

    Btw , isn't it lovely to be able to talk to others who understand how you feel , it's so refreshing not having to explain yourself for a change ! :-) x

  • I'm so pleased Hynotherapy is working out for you! :D Maybe I will give it another go!! Sounds amazing - must have been such a relief to feel like that even for a moment!!

    Yes it is lovely - although I'm struggling at the moment so I'm trying not to say too much on here as I dont want to bring others down with me :( x But yes definitely refreshing to not have to explain yourself and speak with people who understand xx

  • I think everyone on here would understand your struggle, I don't think you would be bringing anybody down, it might do you good to get it off your chest, you can feel very alone with anxiety, why do you think you're struggling at the moment, I'm happy to listen honestly x

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