I'm new here...but a longtime survivor

[Larslo]

I had my first panic attack in 1978...I know..that's a long time ago!

Here's my story. I hope it may encourage others to seek help.

I was 20 yrs old. I'm now 61. I am happily married with three grown daughters and 4 grandchildren. I have been successful in business and generally enjoyed my life so far. But...it hasn't been easy...

For years my condition went undiagnosed. I sought help but there wasn't as much support for or understanding of anxiety disorders back then.

I continued to have panic attacks, associated these events with places and situations, and my world closed in on me. I quit jobs because I couldn't cope with the stress. I went back to grad school to escape and I was asked to leave 3 months later as I couldn't sit still and would leave class.

Eventually I became afraid to leave my apartment. I knew my feelings were real, they were scary, and most frustrating at the time, I didn't understand what was wrong with me.

I started running- literally-and the endorphins in my body allowed me to relax at least for an hour or two every day. I then had the courage to go outside and start living again. In about 1983, I finally found a psychologist who diagnosed GAD plus panic disorder. Therapy plus medication helped me get my life back on track.

Since then I have taken an antidepressant (currently 30 mg of Celexa). I take Xanax as necessary (max .25 mg/ day). This combined with regular exercise, diet, and strategies learned in CBT has allowed me to cope better with stress.

I used to take 40 mg of Celexa but after a recent surgery had to reduce due to seratonin syndrome. That was scary. Not sure what happened as no other meds or interactions were involved but we think it's related to the surgery (prostrate cancer). After stopping the Celexa and allowing it to clear my system we have slowly increased dosage to current level.

So...lots of ups and downs over the years. I have good days and bad days but recently vowed that I would not allow fear to stop me from doing what I want and living a fulfilling life. I have learned that fear becomes a coward when faced with a small act of courage. I hope you can summon the courage to get help and to face your fears head on. God bless.

[blackcat64013]

Hi Larslo,

Welcome to the forum. What an inspirational story. The key to good mental health is to find that one person who truly gets what you are suffering from and can put your onto the path to recovery or to be as good as it gets. We are also reminded that some of us will have to keep taking our medication for as long we need it, often a lifetime.

Thank you for sharing

[Edatis]

Wow story sounds so familiar. God Bless you. 👍

[Agora1]

Larslo, we need more stories like yours so others know it is possible to win. I like what you said about fear becoming a coward when faced with a small act of courage. Very meaningful. I think what has changed for you over the years is that you've grown in understanding and fortitude to not let anxiety take over your life. That change of mindset is what brought you to where you are today. Whatever tomorrow brings, it sounds like you are ready God bless you as well.