My name is Kirby and I am a 25 year old female. I have been diagnosed with OCD, panic disorder accompanied with agoraphobia, generalized anxiety disorder, bi polar and depression.
None of those said titles really have much meaning to me other than panic and anxiety. I feel like I just need to know someone relates to me right this second. I have been to a facility called The Meadows to treat my severe anxiety however its been over a year and i feel like the agoraphobia is coming back.
I feel dependent on my boyfriend of three months. I moved to California from Texas about six or seven months ago to change my environment because going back to Texas after treatment wasn't the best idea.
I was independent and doing things on my own which were extremely stressful but gradually getting easier but then i started dating someone and am finally back in school.
im petrified to be alone now, he just tried to leave and i freaked out felt like i was losing my mind and begged him not to go, its not just the physical sensations of a panic attack it was like i was losing my mind and not knowing why i would do this to myself. i feel like im going insane and dying or suffocating and i just dont understand. i know how the mind works, i understand everything about anxiety i just need to know if someone can relate. i am so over and annoyed with myself and just hoping someone out there has felt this way even though thats a terrible thing to desire. but it would maybe soothe this anxiety.. im even already thinking about class in the morning.. i cant get my medicine until after and im so so so petrified.
suggestions? anyone can relate?