I'm at my most desperate, lowest point here.

[Mrworrymaster]

I'm begging for help. Pretty much crawling on my knees and praying that something will help me.

I've had countless test done. Just started meds, which I've always been against, and hoping they will do some good. I went from lung cancer scares, to heart attack scares, to blood clots, to brain tumor. MRI's, CT scans, stress tests..everything looks normal.

As I'm typing this I'm almost in tears. My wife is exhausted with hearing my issues, I don't blame her. I'm struggling to do my job. I can't even think anymore. All I do is worry about what disease I have. I currently think I have some neurological disorder, or MS. My coordination is off, I'm clumsy, I'm tired, my brain is foggy, my legs feel weird, my hands won't work like I think they should. I'm unsure of my own motions basically. I just feel foreign in my own skin and I'm so tired of feeling this way.

I have two girls and a wonderful wife. I would never hurt myself, so please don't take this the wrong way, but I can understand how some could get to that point. This is so overwhelming. My anxiety has never been this bad. So bad to the point that I'm thinking of having myself committed.

If there are bad days and good days, then this is def my worst one yet. I'm not eating, I'm waking up at 5 every morning.

I need help.

[Mixfammom]

I literally had to get to the point where I just looked up to heaven and told the good lord if he was going to take me, please just do so.  I had to get away from the fear of dying I do want to die but I just tell myself if that is Gods plan so be it.  I can not control it.  as my husband says to me "non of us get out of this life alive"!  I don't know if you are religious but if you are I pray a lot.  I myself today feel I am on the verge of a panic attack and feeling anxious so I get up get moving and tell myself I will not let it take over my life.  It really is a mind trick we have to do with ourselves.  I hope you feel better soon, Anxiety and panic sucks. 

[Vgrady76]

Ohh Mrworrymaster.....you do not sound like you are coping....please go to your GP, and get some help, health aniexty is very, very, stressful.....trust me I know,, you need to take control of your life, please take reassurance that you are in good heath, you've had numerous tests, they would have picked up on something if there was something wrong.....try taking baby steps, aniexty CAN....have physical affects on you.....honestly!!!

[Mrworrymaster in reply to Vgrady76]

Physical effects that mimic MS? My goodness that is so hard to accept. Feeling off balance and uncoordinated is unreal. I would never have thought anxiety could do this. Not to this level. The only thing keeping me from crumbling is my clean MRI. Maybe it's the new meds causing increased anxiety, maybe I'm losing my crap. I just keep thinking " what if" they missed something

[Aazz in reply to Mrworrymaster]

Off balanced and dizziness  feelings are one of the most common symptoms of anxiety if you read through this community you will see countless complaints of it. And Everyone with anxiety thinks they have MS at one point or another i have read through many many anxiety forums and I can't tell you how many people think they have ms or other neurological disorders you are not the only one. You will be ok just keep reminding yourself that all your tests were clear.

[Emmalou1707 in reply to Mrworrymaster]

I was convinced I also had MS last year when my anxiety started. My symptoms were very similar to yours. My uncle was also having similar symptoms but a lot worse. We both went for tests and MRI's and mine came back clear. Unfortunately his didn't and he was diagnosed with MS. Morale of the story, it takes a long time for MS symptoms to develop after your nerves have been affected, your MRI could never have come back clear!

[Mrworrymaster in reply to Emmalou1707]

So your saying that the damage would have been done far before any symptoms would have appeared?  As in the scars would have been there a while and then the numbness, ahaking, coordination issues, all that ...would have started happening?

[Emmalou1707 in reply to Mrworrymaster]

Absolutely, all of those symptoms are the after effects of your already damaged nerves. So you honestly have nothing to worry about, a few months after I stopped worrying so much about them they subsided!

[Mrworrymaster in reply to Emmalou1707]

Thank you so much. I found an article explaining how long term stress can wreck our nervous system. Its so hard to believe that anxiety can be so powerful

[cookiek1tten in reply to Mrworrymaster]

Hi Mrworrymaster, I'd love to see that article please?

[Mrworrymaster in reply to cookiek1tten]

Hi cookie. I just posted it on a thread here. Look for my last post out up.

[Emmalou1707 in reply to Emmalou1707]

And anMRI isthemost detailed scan you can have, it would have been showing up damage hotspots left right and centre, you definitely have nothing to worry about. The mind can be a terrible thing!

[Mrworrymaster in reply to Emmalou1707]

The funny thing about anxiety is I truly know MS is unlikely. I've researched it for days now sadly. And through all that you think I would know better then to think I have it when one day It's my hands numb. Then my vision blurry. Then my legs numb. Then my feet tingly. Then my head achey. MS. Wouldn't create 9 different symptoms in the course of 4 days and in random spots and then go away just to create an issue in another part of my body ...the mind is powerful indeed

[wentworth67]

Hi i was exactly the same 2 years ago thought i was dying i had every symptom you could name on the anxiety list ,i lost my daughter to cancer which brought it on .it was the worst 2 years of my life .When i was as my lowest and had enough i sat and thought im not gonna feel like rhis anymore and slowly day by day i took back control of my life and with medication and councelling im doing fine now dont get me wrong i still have off days but i dont let the anxiety rule me .Hugs Paula xx

[Vgrady76 in reply to wentworth67]

Hi Paula......I've just read your reply to mrworrymaster.......I am so so sorry to read about the loss of your daughter, I know its very very hard to lose somebody to Cancer, my mum was 56yrs when I lost her.....a piece of me died as well😢

[wentworth67 in reply to Vgrady76]

Hi thanks she was 20 im sorry about your mum too its a terrible illness i also lost my mum too to cancer she died less than 24 before my daughter so i no how u feel no wonder we have melt downs hugs Paula xxx

[Mrworrymaster in reply to wentworth67]

Thank you for the kind words and support. I know I don't know you, or your late daughter, but I'm truly sorry for your loss. I have two daughters and I know how deepba fathers love is for his girls. 

[wentworth67 in reply to Mrworrymaster]

Thank you just hope u start to feel better soon hugs Paula xx

[Agora1]

Hi Mrworrymaster,  yes you do need help.  I hear it.  You say you just started on meds, depending what kind, it could mean that your body is trying to adjust right now.  If it's an antidepressant it can take from 4-6 weeks for you to get the whole therapeutic dose.  It could be why you are feeling at your lowest now as the medication fights your fear and anxiety.  If it's a anti-anxiety med, then it will kick in faster but you will still feel some effects of the drug.  You do need to give a call to your doctor and let him know how desperate you are for some relief.  I don't know if you are in therapy yet, but it's a good idea once the medication takes effect.  Of course, going into the hospital is always an option where they can play around with your meds as well as dosage while watching you.  I truly  hope your doctor will advise you as to what is best for  you but, he does need to know that you are suffering.  Please get help so you get some answers.  Take care.   My hat's off to your wife, it's a difficult position for her as well.

[Rhea31]

I was feeling the same recently.. It sucks, but this will pass.. It is important that you realize that this is anxiety..you need to change your lifestyle and engage in interesting activities that will bring happiness.

Sick help from a qualified therapist, also tell your wife that you are going through. Don't ask her to understand.. and don't blame her if she doesn't.. Just aske her for support. that's it.

[Rhea31]

and one more thing, know that you are not alone!

[Aazz]

The medication is making things worse it always goes at the start but if you can just push through it will start working as it should. Funny you mention about your hands not working right I have that feeling too and my legs hurt and feel wobbly a lot. Have you read any books? A good one is dare by Barry mcdonagh helped me a lot I'm currently going through s pretty bad set back but that's all part of recovery.

Wishing you the best

[alan1010]

Hi alan10 10 here I know how you feel I'm a born worrier about my health and when it's in ur head it's hard to shift but Wat works 4 me is a good long walk and plug in some music stay active but don't Google any symptoms  u will always find the worst thing.  I'm starting  a detox 4 a few days to c if it helps no coffee no dairy and drink plenty of water to flush things out.  Try some peppermint tea or chamomile tea helps u relax. Remember stay active . Here 4 u.

[Mrworrymaster in reply to alan1010]

Thank you. I've been told to try floating through the anxiety and just accecpting it.  I guess that's how you break the anxiety cycle. My body is just fried from 6 months of this overly anxious carp. 

[ciley]

i feel like that today steadily getting worse or seems like it-great empathy and love to you-