I am 73 years old
I have been diagnosed with Deep Vein Thrombosis with clots in my lungs. I know this diagnosis is going to be the cause of my death. I worry constantly. I'm frightened, I have isolated myself from others, my behavior has become uncontrollable by my fear. I have become an angry bitter person who has said horrible things to the woman I love loved in the US. Of course she's devastated. I met a Filipino widow online two months ago and propose marriage. She accepted. I don't love her but tell her I am because I don't want to die alone. My God what am I doing?