Emdr was great but now im in limbo..help!

Hi everyone sorry I've not been around much this last week. I've been feeling rough and not sure if its my meds(mirtazapine) or a slide back into depression. I've been ill for 7 months and been having emdr therapy which has been a life saver. I was feeling good, with ups and downs but now I'm struggling. My therapist was great at emdr stuff but now we are working in a cbt style on self esteem with workbooks. I'm can't open up to her and she doesn't seem to know how to handle it. I saw a counsellor to begin with and felt a connection with her but then she went off sick, then I saw the counsellor s manager and had connections with her but she decided I needed emdr and she was spot on. I can talk to my doc too but I can't bring myself to say anything to my therapist(seems a bit rude to say I can't work with her) but I don't feel I have any coping strategies etc. and i dont want to be left with nothing or pull out part way through my recovery plan. ive sent for the Claire weekes self help for your nerves as I have always tried to help myself. Has anyone else had emdr and what did they do as the next step? Hope this makes sense I'm sooo wobbly and low at the minute love to everyone big hugs xx

[Hidden]

Hi Eve,

Yes, I started getting better when I had EMDR therapy, I had to have three lots of 12 sessions.

Now I'm getting CBT, and although I felt the same as you about my therapist, as he is a bit cocky in his attitude, I gave him a try.

This morning, we got to some really interesting stuff, its worth trying to open up, whoever, or whatever you feel, as it can only help!

This self esteem and coping is important, as we all tend to rely on our outdated ways of seeing things, and basically there not working..........so we do need to modify our thinking.

Take a chance and give the therapist a try once more.............you have nothing to loose, and so much to gain.

Wishing you well

B

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you I'm glad you replied I love reading your comments. I felt like I was grieving a couple of weeks ago which seemed crazy as I wouldn't want any of the trauma stuff back. Did you experience this? Maybe Im feeling low after this difficult time. I've only got through the 20+ years by using childlike out of date methods and I soo want to change, i can't manage the next 20+ years with my present coping strategies as I'm just punishing myself. Emdr is so good and brings fast relief but as its pretty much a silent therapy as opposed to a talking therapy I feel more withdrawn. I will try next week to open up.. Thank you it helped to write down how i was feeling x

[Hidden]

Hi Eve,

I found that EMDR takes a while to process all the past stuff, I was angry, upset emotional, and then I just was able to forgive my parents, and things started getting easier.

Instead of a frightened 9 yr old boy, I grew up a bit, I feel about early 30's now (53 in reality)

I'm hoping the CBT can identify the outdated methods I'm using to cope with life now, as I do feel there's a few knots still to untie.

I'm enjoying this meditation as its softening me, and allowing me to be gentle with myself, and thats something I never was before.

There's a meditation and talk on live now if you fancy it, its in the meditation bit now so not much talking, talks starts a 1pm. I asked him a question the other week and he answered it lol, I got such a hot flush, I didnt hear his reply, luckily they are put on utube after.

Here's a link

dhammaloka.org.au/dhammalok...

B

xxxxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi I saw the link on your previous post I will have a look... Busy entertaining a 2 year old at the minute. I've felt stuck in the past emotionally for way too long and it's kind of a weird feeling right now adjusting my emotions as a grown up at 40! and letting things go. I am learning not to fight so much and then the fear doesnt tighten its grip and it does work but takes time which is frustrating. thanks for taking the time to reply x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Your welcome Eve,

Talks on just that now.

B

xxx

[fadedlizard in reply to Hidden]

Hi Eve,

You're doing so well. I can really empathise with finding your feelings for the first time at forty. That's me too. After twenty eight years of hiding from my anxiety and depression behind a blanket of bulimia and self harm I am now trying to lay it all down and face up to what is really going on. I hadn't realised it but I've lived most of my life under anasthetic, feeling nothing but desperation and a terrible urge to stop it at all cost, The desperation has eased but now I have all these feelings I haven't had for years and it's quite unnerving.

Good Luck.xxx

[Hidden in reply to fadedlizard]

Thank you lizard

It's a very bumpy road but so worthwhile I couldn't have carried on any further without help. I struggled with bulimia for years and then onto other forms of self harm. Learning to let go and not be afraid of my feelings is tough and overwhelming at times and i do occasionally revert back to punishing myself but I feel so much lighter. I love the anasthetic description. It feels like I'm just coming around after years under anasthetic so I guess im bound to feel rough until I'm fully awake again. Wishing you well too love eve x

[marcusvanbreugel]

Dear Eve39,

I am sorry to read that you have been feeling rough.

I wish you all the very very best with your therapy.

big hugs,

Marcus xxx

[Hidden in reply to marcusvanbreugel]

Thank you for your kind words Marcus and I hope you are doing well too love eve x