I am feeling very anxious about practically everything. I am pretty sure it’s driving my boyfriend crazy. He sends a text and I read way into it. I may notice he didn’t type “I” before saying love you. Then I think he doesn’t like me and is goin to break up with me. Or if he doesn’t text me for several hours. I am wondering what he is doing so I send him a text asking him what he’s doing. He has a child with his ex wife so she’s always texting him even about stuff that doesn’t have to do with their daughter. It makes me really emotional and anxious when he tells me she just texted him about things other than his daughter. She knows he’s seeing me now and he doesn’t give her attention anymore so she will text “sorry for bothering you, you are prolly with your new girlfriend.” She will text him thee type of messages while I am with him. Hey make me super uncomfortable. In my anxious mind, it makes me go to the worst case scenario and I think he wants to get back with her even though hey haven’t been together for 2.5 years and she’s with someone else. I know I can’t control that she texts him all the time which he only replies back if it has to deal with their daughter And he calls her out when she says inappropriate comments to him about me. She texted him one time when dropping off their daughter saying “I just wanted to text you to ask when I could drop off our daughter so you don’t have to hide anyone.” He said he wouldn’t hide me that if I was at his place , I could walk around freely and not hide.” He is so kind and reassuring and he shows me all the time when she texts and tells me when she calls. Even with all this, every time he tells me she texts or calls, my body does all warm and flushed and I become upset. I know I can’t control her behavior that I can only control my reaction to when she tries to get to me. I want to know what I can do to handle my anxiety about not getting all upset every time she texts and calls him when it has nothing to do with his daughter. He has spoken with her about it and he never replies to her unless it has to do with his daughter with her. I know he is patient with me but he has expressed that he gets frustrated that I get so upset about her when she means nothing to him and won’t get back with her ever. I don’t want to lose him because I can’t work through this anxiety.
Anxious : I am feeling very anxious about... - Anxiety Support
Anxious
i feel the same way as you, i overthink too much
Yeah and it’s very frustrating because I know I am doing it .
Slow down or you will chase him away! The first thing you have to do is Trust yourself believe in yourself,and last but not least Care for YOU ! By the sounds of things you are going to scare him away ,there is a cardinal rule in all relationship's without which there can be no relationship! That is "Trust" you have to trust yourself before you can have a relationship and be expected to trust your partner! I think you have to believe in yourself before you can learn to "Trust" yourself! And before you can believe in yourself you will have learn to"Care" for yourself ! They are all interlinked , unfortunately some people love themselves in the wrong way! "Care Compassion Belief and Trust" supposedly the best of Human traits ! Are not so common nowadays hence so many breakups divorces etc etc once you care for yourself you will be able to care for others Belief and Trust should quickly follow! There is no relationship without Trust
Yes very true. I def do not want to chase him away. He is such an amazing guy who is very patient with me. He knows about my anxiety and he’s so very supportive. I know I shouldn’t seek reassurance from him. I have to work on myself. I have had a lot of trust issues from my past with friends who have left my life and boyfriends who have cheated on me and emotionally and physically abused me. Sometimes I feel like I need to forgive myself for my past. I don’t believe I have let go. I think I can only learn to trust when I start trusting myself and forgiving myself.
Trust in yourself never forgive yourself for someone else's wrongdoing! its NOT your fault you have been cheated on or emotionally/physically abused,It is the Fault of the Person/persons who have done this to you! It sounds like you have a good one now ! I honestly wish you all the best,and stop blaming yourself for what has happened in the past just look to the Future Past is Past ! the Future is now!
I mean forgive myself for feeling ashamed about my past I blamed myself thinking it was my fault. I want to forgive myself and realize it wasn’t me it was him who was bad. At one point I felt I deserved it if that makes sense.
No one "Deserves"to be treated badly, but I do know what you mean! Life can be hard and when you are treated badly at first you think "I must have upset him/her" then you blame yourself and it goes on and on until you see sense and leave! Then when someone decent comes along you are watching waiting for it to happen again because the last person made you think you deserved to be hurt!? I saw it happen with my Mother and stepfather ! Poor Woman only wanted to be loved for who She was not what She was made to feel She was! Perkofawallflower don't fall into that way of thinking because once you do it will take you heck of a long time to be the real you again ! I know because not only have I seen it but have seen someone I loved very much change from a happy go lucky fun loving Lady to someone who was broken and took a long time healing
I know I am broken and my boyfriend even told me he knows I am broken. He said he can wait for me to get better and he said he can’t wait to see who I am when I am not broken. He said he loves me for who I am now and said he looks forward to seeing me heal. I am so glad I found him because he loves me even when I am still healing. I have come along way from who I used to be. I am working towards being who I used to be before all of the abuse.
For aslong as he’s honest with you and doesn’t hide anything don’t over think it , if he was going to cheat or anything he will do it no matter what you do or say, he clearly respects you to not text back to certain things and wouldn’t “hide” you away, she’s just being petty she has his child so this situation won’t ever change, just be careful of how much you do go on at him as it can push him away or he won’t wanna tell you stuff because he doesn’t want an earful or any drama , relax lovely it’ll be ok 
xx
Exactly and he has been honest with me as much as I can tell. Every time she texts or calls him he lets me know. Of if she says things about me. I just need to realize it’s her and he can’t control her that he can only control how he responds to her which he is doing a good job. I really like him and want to be with him and sometimes it’s hard because she’s never going away at least for 12 years until their daughter is 18. He said he won’t have to respond to her texts and crazy phone calls after that lol . I feel it will get better with time. Lol I can only hope.
Exactly hes been honest , I know it’s hard but honestly you have to give people that trust if only a little bit until they prove to be untrust worthy , even when his child’s 18 trust me she’ll still be in contact , it’s forever no matter what people say lol! It will be fine for aslong as he acts right nevermind her she’s irrelevant he’s your man
I figure she will still be in contact. She cheated on him and acts like she never did it. She still calls him her best friend. She’s very inappropriate making comment to him about when he got a new bed she said “I bet you are your new girlfriend already broke it in.” I haven’t met her yet so I am sure introductions will be very tense or crazy. None of his friends or family like her and tell me that she will keep being like this and to just stick through it because my boyfriend is worth it and is very loyal. She texts him sometimes around midnight about irrelevant things or drunk texts him. He never replies back but still it causes me to become upset. I know when I get upset it makes him sad because he feels like he’s doing something wrong. It’s hard for me to get past her texting him all the time for his attention like he’s still her husband. She seeks support from him when she has problems with her current boyfriend. Or she got lost on the metro and called him crying and then she called him one time at Walmart saying she was having a panic attack. They were together for 8 years and have been divorced for two years.
I know other women like that, her behaviour is unacceptable , she’s an idiot and she won’t get very far, she’s just jealous and bitter , he tells you everything so don’t get too upset honestly he sounds asif he’s being very trust worthy , aslong as he’s behaving right try not to let her get to you as that’s what she wants x
Thank you so much for all this advice. I will definitely try to not let her get to me. Lol my anxious brain makes it hard sometimes
I agree it can make things really difficult , he more than likely finds it really stressful too, getting calls/texts you don’t want and knowing they’ll upset your girlfriend its not nice for him either I’m sure. Just keep enjoying your relationship. She will get bored eventually she’s just being petty😌 if you ever need to talk just message me stay strong !
Thanks so much I will def message you if I need to thanks for the support
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