o/h having a real bad day

my wife was very anxious when she woke up today, it was our day to meet our friends at her club for the blind, she seemed ok to start with , but when they had a little game of card bingo ( for coppers) she couldn't find her money in her bag, this brought floods of tears, her anxiety went through the roof, she has very low esteem , and felt very embarrassed, we are back home now and I have had to give her a diazepam to help her, we both know what the deep seated problem is , its coping with her blindness, we have been through all the channels, cbt, psychotherapy,

counselling, etc, but the bottom line is the coping thing, would love any help on this. love jasper.

19 Replies

  • HI Jasper x Oh Im so sorry to hear your wife is having a bad day x Big hugs for her x It can be hard when you suffer from low esteem to feel embarrassed in a situation, as your mind automatically presumes the worst in how people will look at you x I cannot begin to imagine how hard it is for you wife to try and come to terms with her blindness, I think its something we all take for granted until someday it gets snatched from us, and the world can seem so cold if we cannot see the light x I can fully understand that its something she would feel alone with as even thought you talk to similar people its hard to gather information when you cannot see the person, x Maybe to cope you could try to relive, do the things you loved to do before this happened and show her they are still the same from a sense, so if you loved to go to the park, go and listen to the sounds of the park rather than the view learn to love things in the new light x Im sorry I really am puzzled with this one but if I can help in any way please ask x Donver xx

  • hi donver, we both thank you for your lovely reply, we do go to the seaside , the parks, for the sounds, which she loves, I think its just the normal things which we do automatically that she cannot do, which causes this awful frustration & which boils over into horrible anxiety, thank you again, love jasper xxx

  • NO prbs x I can understand that. We do tend to take so much for granted never thinking of the day we simply cannot do it any more. If its frustration, can the automatic things not be simplified ? Like making a cake , if you cannot measure as you have no scales, you buy a packet mix xx Sorry I coud,nt be more help xx

  • Hi Mr & Mrs Newton

    Well , I cant put myself in Mrs Newtons exact position , because I have known the situation & I just admire how much she copes to be honest , she has always been an inspiration to me along with yourself & your devotion to her

    The other day I was feeling anxious had work men in the garden I thought I was coping ok ish till they started to put the gate on the wrong way & then I burst into tears & it knocked me up for the rest of the day , it took me ages to calm down even though the gate was put on right in the end !

    When I sat & thought about it , I believe it had been building up & on a good day I may have dealt with it so much differently , but it obviously wasn't & I reacted badly

    Maybe Mrs Newton has been letting things build up a little & she hasn't even realized it & her self esteem may have gone a little low & then what happened today was the final straw & it has all had to come out !

    I know you will have been talking to her & giving her tender loving care as you always do :-)

    Oh would you let her know as there is only Mrs Newton that I will allow to share Will-i-am with me that he is going to be on BBC1 10.35 Friday 28th in that documentary with Joanna Lumley that might give her something to look forward to :-)

    Let her know we are here & are supporting her , send her my love please & tell her she is not on her own , we all have moments like this

    I wish I had a flipping better answer as with this one I really want one !

    Big hugs :-)




  • Hi Jasper.Sorry to hear your wife has had an awful day.

    My mum has very little sight,and I know the slightest difficulty upsets her,although she doesn't have anxiety.

    She too goes to a club,and finds it helpful as everyone has sight problems of varying degrees.

    I'm sure the other members of your wife's club experience difficulties too,but with her anxiety it makes everything so much worse for her.This reply is probably not a lot of help,but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and your wife

    Anne xxx

  • thank you so much for your reply, the coping with sight loss as you say is bad enough, but with the anxiety it makes a 100 times worse. love jasper xxx

  • hi whywhy, I found it hard to read out your reply to my wife, because I started to fill up so much, your reply & donvers, were really a good help, to know we both can share our feelings with others , its a trust thing, we are going to watch the Joanna Lumley documentary, thank you both again, all my love jasper xxx

  • I understand the trust thing , I am so bad at trusting , think events in life have made me that way so it is a real big compliment that you can share with us & trust us , Thank You :-)


  • Hello mr and mrs newton

    I'm really sorry that mrs newton had a bad day. Sometimes things just get too much and all the stress and frustration gets to us and we break down. It's very stressful if you are coping with a disability or illness as I know from personal experience. It's great that you both go out and about. Have the RNIB been any help? I have phoned their helpline in the past for my eye condition and they were very helpful. Hope you feel better mrs newton xxx

  • hi angel, thank you so much for your reply, yes it has been so stressful today, it is so hard for her at times , and I think things just build & build then just blow, we did a few years ago have a telephone talk with the RNIB, so I might give them another ring and see if they can help. mrs newton is feeling a lot better now , thank you all, love jasper xxx

  • Hi mr and mrs newton :) glad mrs newton is feeling better. Hope You are both having a lovely evening. Xx

  • Hi Jasper,was just wondering how you and your wife were doing today?x

  • hi lowtongirl, thank you so much for asking, she is great today, been to her local club and really enjoyed it, she was overwhelmed that's lots of people were asking about her health, I read out lots of the posts to her , she loves to try and answer them as well, the folk on here are really helping her, there will always be setbacks on the long road to recovery ( I hope ), we just have to get up , dust ourselves down and get on with our lives, thank you again. all our love the newts xxx

  • That's great to hear Jasper,it's nice to know.I think everyone here is great.so good to be able to talk things over with people who understand.Ive not been a member for long but really have enjoyed getting to know everyone.Love to you both Anne xx

  • Me to , how is Mrs Newton feeling today ?

    I have been thinking about her :-)


  • hi whywhy, that is so nice of you to ask about her, she has been to her local club & really enjoyed it, she is so much better today, the folk on this site have really helped her confidence, just people asking about her makes us both feel that we can stand up to this horrible anxiety, i often read lots of the posts out to her,she knows virtually all the regulars on site, ( tells ) me to answer as many as i can as well, ( still the boss ), thank you again why why, hope you and your lively family are well, oh by the way its her b/day sat, would love some ideas what to get her, lots of love jasper xxx

  • Oh I am pleased she has been out & enjoyed herself , I was thinking about her even when I went to bed last night & hoped she was feeling better !

    Oh I always remember maybe a year ago I was very distressed over my eyes , we will not go into it but the message she sent me touched my heart & ever since it has helped me & I have never forgotten , I have to go back in April still waiting but I believe for some reason the message she passed on to me & that moment on she became very special :-)

    Oh well I have done a post & the son has bought me some anti wrinkle cream , not sure that would be a good idea mind you :-D

    Now does she like music is there anything she may like listening to

    Perfume ?

    I was going to say have a nice cake made but you would eat that !

    Does she like anything for the bath , I know I have my favorite perfume & I like the bath things you can get in the same or the body lotions , but they are expensive so that's a treat !

    We ladies can be very hard to buy for I have to be honest !

    Let us know what you do get :-)


  • hi whywhy, you cheeky little monkey,( i would eat all the cake ) lol. probably right tho, winters got me hooked with all those gorgeous photos of hers, you are right she hes a great affinity with you , she really sees you as a special person, you have great empathy to all you meet on sight , you tell all from the heart, and that from us is a special, special person, our son is coming from salford tomorrow , so we are booking up a nice family meal sat night, i have bought her a lovely top from a boutique , its very summery , very silky, be lovely on a warm day, but she knows about that, so might get her a piece of jewelry as well, loads of love jasper xxx

  • Thank you for those kind words

    Oh jewelry should be a winner I have never know a lady not liking some jewelry we can never have to much :-/

    Sounds like you have a lovely BD planned I hope you all have a lovely time :-)


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