Scared of just being Awake

Hi all,I have just been thru 8 to 10 days of mental torture. EVERY minute of every day,I live in fear. I am afraid of just existing. I cant wait till I fall asleep and I hate when I wake up.

I think it may be panic disorder where u always think a panic attack is going to happen anytime. I had to come back to this group where I know I will be understood. I HAVE felt like something else is really wrong with me. Has anyone just had a fear of just existing? :(

AM I going bi polor?;)

Luv and hugs,



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11 Replies

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  • Kind of sounds like Derealization to me.. I had DR for about 4 months, except I was afraid of LITERALLY EVERYTHING, and just existing was one of them. It's a terrifying symptom of anxiety. It's your brains defense mechanism. It does go away on its own though once you relax and just accept it. And grounding techniques helped me heal myself from it as well.. if you need any ideas please feel free to let me know 😊

  • Ry Ry, Thanks for ur msg. I never heard of derealization before. I think I will call my therapist tomorrow.What grounding techniques do u use? How did u know you had it? I also have a bad case of IBS right now. And stress makes it worse. I am in touch w/the IBS community,but not about this deep mental stuff.I am already on prozac and klonopin for panic attacks. I wonder if all the same alternative treatments will help: meditation,exercise,good nutrition,etc. Now this is kind of scarier.

    Please keep in touch.



  • Ry Ry,yes, I would like as many ideas as you want to give me.



  • Hey, sure I know how debilitating DR can be, especially when it sets in gradually like mine did and I felt like I was going insane, like slowly losing my mind. So I would hold an ice cube in my hand for as long as I could bare it, walking around outside really helps too. Feeling your feet on walking on concrete helps for some reason. Touching something really hot helped me too. Those are a few things I tried everyday and they were very helpful. I also started taking Magnesium which REALLY helped me, all of these things and within a week or 2 the DR was gone. You can also YouTube other grounding techniques from others who have suffered DR and cured themselves of it. I know it's scary but it goes away. It's so crazy I'm telling you this right now because this time last year mine was slowly setting in and I was a wreck and felt like I would be stuck that way forever. Now here I am giving you advice on how to get rid of it and reassuring you that it is going to go away 😌 I'm sure you're going to be just fine before you know it. Believe me, you're stronger than anxiety, and much more powerful than you know 😊

  • I'm going through this right now. :( it's so hard.. I don't feel like myself anymore.. I'm scared of EVERYTHING. I'm a nervous wreck to being awake! When does this end? I was doing so good for some time but now it's back. :( it's so haunting it's depressing...

  • Meg,are you on any medications?



  • No I don't take any medication. I don't want too because I don't want to go through the process of getting off medication & relying on something like that to fix me. I believe I need counseling. I think that will help me get my mind straight. :) (hopefully) I take hydroxyzine as needed at night for my Anxiety which helps me for the most part. I tried sertaline & I was reacting to the medication, for I kept having tingling in my hands & legs. So that gave me a big fear with medication as well. 😝

  • Love Meg, I feel your pain. I trust that this too shall pass.

    What anxiety symptoms do u sometimes get?

    I am here for you. Did u ever hear about derealization before?

    We are all here for you. I will write again tmro. After I reach my therapist.

    Please try not to worry. At least we know that we are not the only ones that have this feeling.Thats whats good about talking to each other here.



  • My anxiety symptoms are just constant worrying, panic attacks (sometimes) they have got better, constant fear of dying. I have health anxiety for sure! Every little symptom I worry about. 😝 it's exhausting. I have trouble falling asleep because I'm scared of dying in my sleep. I feel some days I have derealization. My brain sometimes feels like I'm in a fog or dream. :/ like I'm not myself anymore.. It's sad..

  • Wow I'm going through the same thing right now. I'm scared of everything, something as small as a shadow startles me if I don't have a clear vision of it. Existing is my biggest Fear.

  • It's horrible isn't it? 😳 Sometimes I'm scared of my own shadow too! It's just mind blowing how anxiety works. I'm stuck in this constant mind battle. It has affected my Every day life! It's depressing.. πŸ˜₯ I want to be happy again!

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