Scared of going crazy!

[anxiouslady13]

I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I feel scared on an almost constant basis. I'm 31 and I have been battling this for about 14 years now. My anxiety and panic have come in a variety of symptoms and I like to think I've managed them the best I can, until now. My latest symptom is making think I'm going to go crazy and commit suicide. I'm afraid of death so this is weird to me. I have an amazing and very understanding boyfriend and we share an 18month old daughter, the last thing I want to do is leave them. I worry that someday soon something is going to happen to me and I won't be around for my little family nor will I be able to watch my daughter grow up. Has anybody had similar symptoms to this? I guess I need to know it's a normal part of anxiety and panic and that it will go away and everything will be ok.

[Janco]

Hi anxiouslady13

I think many of us has felt the same.

It's because of the many thoughts just exploding in our heads, it got me mostly when I went to sleep. It was many different thoughts coming and going, and then thinking "what was I thinking about just now", and "everything is getting worse", "whats this all in my head", "can I handle everything" !!!!!

You are not going crazy!

One of the strategies that I use is : arresting my thoughts.

I do not allow, just any thought, to come into my brain, it's my brain and I will allow who or what I want to give access to it.(not easy at first but you have to practice it).

So I "catch" every thought, examen it. If it does not make sence, is evil, scary, or not wholesome for me, I arrest it and take it out of my mind.

I know it sounds crazy! But you must control what thoughts you are thinking and receiving.

Janco

[adds]

yes its norm thinking when you have and got anxiety and bit depesson and il tell you this ok your still be around for your kid growing up for many many years so stop worrying about that one ok and no your not mad crazy at all its called anxiety ok

[Hidden]

I think that worry/fear is a part of being a loving parent, anxiety will magnify the worry/fear, of course, x1000 or more. We are special like that

mine began shortly after my son was born, it peaks and fades over the years, the first few years I barely remember anything but being fearful. Since I have a much better understanding of anxiety and how I behave, think etc it's less of a threat and more of an inconvenience that sometimes can be ignored, other times it's been intrusive but definitely better than when it first began.

[Dave-B]

Hi. I've experienced this too. It's terrifying. So, I was just wondering what I could say to help you and came up with something that helps me. Anxiety, especially panic is your systems fight or flight response kicking in (we all know that I guess) so while it is an inappropriate situation, like shopping, or all the time or randomly, whatever. The prime function of this system, that messes with your blood flow, digestion, diverting resources from anywhere not needed to fight or flight, is to KEEP YOU ALIVE. To experience your body and mind in this state diminishes your rational thinking (you don't want to think rationally when tackling dinosaurs!) So, it feels like you've gone totally nuts. That is scary, the tiniest glimmer of losing control, harming yourself, is amplified by your hot wired brain into impulses which - guess what- frighten you so triggering the flight or flight response...and back to the beginning, and on it goes. It's a pig, but it doesn't want to hurt you, it wants to keep you alive. That's what it's there for. Good luck, stay strong, feel secure in the eye of the storm. D

[smjtty]

I DID NOT TAKE CARE OF MY SELF IN THE PAST DID DRUGS

YEARS LATER HAD A HIGH DOSE OF VITAMAN D

NOW I HAVE ANXITY FEEL AS BAD AS YOU DO

IM NOT WORRED ABOUT DIEING I LOOK LIKE

THAT WALKIMG DEAD ALL READY YOU GO TO SLEEP

THAT IS IT DO NOT WANT TO TAKE MED IT WOULD MAKE

ME WORSE THEY SAY IT ALL COME FROM YOUR PAST

I MADE MY WILL WHAT I WANT

[Sally125]

Hi Cheder. First of all you have a small child and it's not easy. You are a young Mum and well done for that! I had a similar problem as you but then I heard something that changed everything. Crazy people don't know they are crazy and most of them think they are normal. So you thinking of going crazy and harming yourself should just tell you how actually aware you are of your current situation and trust me you will not go crazy at all I can guarantee :)! I've been there and it's a normal fear which comes with every anxiety but you are far from that! Be happy for having such a lovely partner and baby and enjoy every moment with them. You are lucky!