I'm writing this because I genuinely need help.
I'm 25 years old and was diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder and comorbid depression when I was 18 (it was entirely a genetic condition that turned on like a light switch. One day I was fine, the next it was panic attack central).
After a year of severe domestic abuse, I developed PTSD in 2013; the icing on the cake.
Throughout this time, I have done everything I can. I see a therapist, and work with a psychiatrist. I have been on every medication and every class of drug used to treat anxiety and depression that exist. I typically have allergic reactions or severe paradoxical reactions to these medications (Zoloft, effexor, and seroquel all put me at the ER). At this point, only klonopin has offered relief, but it's minor at best.
I maintain a very healthy diet, exercise at least an hour each day, practice meditation. I don't drink or do drugs...ever. I adopted an emotional support animal. I try to limit my stressors. But things have gotten successively worse as time has gone by.
I'm at the point where I'm incapable of doing much of anything. I was working on a graduate degree I was very passionate about and after three semesters of having to withdraw for mental health, I eventually left the program. I used to volunteer in the community, and can't anymore. A job is out of the question entirely. I have to take extra clonazepam to even spend time with friends.
For all my efforts, to continually see my health deteriorate is frustrating at best. I worry that my life is just pointless at this stage, because I'm incapable of LIVING. In spite of every effort on my part, the support of family and friends and teachers, and the assistance of a mental health team, not only am I not learning to cope with my anxiety and PTSD, but things are genuinely going downhill at an alarming rate.
I don't know what to do anymore. Any suggestions or thoughts would be so helpful.