I'm back, and things are worse

So a couple years ago I had so much anxiety and panic attacks all day long. I got on Paxil and it was a miracle for me I was a lot better for a couple years, I got off Paxil in October cause I ran out of my meds and didn't have insurance. So here I am at 3 am sitting on my bed crying for so many different reasons.

I went to the ER AROUND 9 got back home at 10. They gave me Ativan and I felt fine, still a little shaken up but better. My daughter is two years old and she's been sick all day. I didn't think much of it till someone told me this bug bite she has looks like a staph infection. So I'm kinda freaking about that. Back it up to a couple days ago I was terrified of there being a bug in my ear and in my head..I kinda got over it but tonight, there was a pincher bug crawling on me, right by my ear! I thought I killed it but when I got up to look it was gone. I was going nuts looking for it my daughter was watching me and it woke up my husband and he just looked concerned about me, he found it and killed it. I just sat and cried I feel so embarrassed and overwhelmed with the amount of anxiety I'm feeling about like 3 different thing. I feel overwhelmed and I feel like I'm not being a good mother to my daughter who I just love. And I feel like I'm stressing my husband or he's looking at me like I'm crazy. I'm in the intake process for mental health services they said it would be about another month, I really don't know what I'm supposed to do I feel crazy, irrational, paranoid, scared..I just want this to end all I do is cry all day. Sorry for the rant I really have no one to talk to. Everyone just says "maybe don't think about it "


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6 Replies

  • Hi honey sorry you r feeling so poorly i know how you feel i suffer with terrible health anxiety and i have ptsd too its horrible how your mind does these things to us and certainly plays tricks on us dosnt it maybe your body wasnt ready to come off paxil but if u dont have insurance then its nobodys fault but cant your doctor put u on anything else i live in the uk so i dont understand about that babe but i do understand how you feel but know this you r not alone theres hundreds of people everyday going through exactly what you and i go through everyday our husbands look at us strangely because they dont understand it if we had a choice we would not want to live like this especially because we are mums too just also know uve defeated it once you will kick its ass again trust me it will pass in time honey its hust not nice when it rears its ugly head i really dont think theres enough help out there in the world for mental health i think it needs to be taking alot more serious by the government this is peoples lives its affecting and we all need proper help please try keep positive we here for you take care xxx

  • Thank you, i now have insurance again so I want to talk to a psychiatrist before I go back on. I want to give Paxil another shot since it worked for me before. I just feel so hopeless right now, the intake at county hospital is 4 weeks long after that four weeks they come up with a treatment plan and I get to see a psychiatrist. Its bullshit. Like what am I supposed to do until then? Everything is startling me and I just feel terrified all the time I feel like I can't do this

  • You can do this its silly that they leave you without your medication while they get you a appointment thats gonna make you 10 times worse this is why you r having these again cuz you dont have your meds this is cruel knowing your history aswell you would think they would help you in the meantime wouldnt you wether you have insurance or not is wrong you should have your medication regardless its your health at the end of the day thats more important than sodding insurance..you will feel like that because u obviously need your paxil... Any anxiety attacks are horrible to live with the side affects we get are awful but to leave you stringing along like that is terrible hope you feel better soon chicken here if u need me xxx

  • Yeah I've been without the Paxil since October. And I'm feeling the effects more and more it's awful, thank you. It feels good that someone understands tired of trying to talk to my family about it and hearing people say, don't think about it, and stuff like that

  • Hi. Well it's easier said than done not to think about it. I was in the same situation 1 year ago and I feel better still have some bouts of anxiety worse right around my menstrual cycle. My potion: 1 multivitamin daily 2 around the time of my cycle, b complex vitamin 500 mg magnesium. Vitamin E and calcium. I also drink Cammomile tea before bed every night. Lean diet , no caffeine , no smoking. I don't know how this sounds to you but it worked for me a whole lot. And of course relaxation take time to pay attention to yourself and what your body is telling you. Keep track of your menstrual so you know how and when you will start feeling anxious. So you can prepare. It is a known fact that women's menstrual cycle plays a big part in our Anxiety. I assure you. Always speak yo your doctor before starting vitamins just in case. Good luck 🙂

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