Newbie and terrified!

[xxflossyxx]

Hey everyone

I'm never usually one to talk about my fears or feelings which is probably how I end up so worked up with anxiety. I've had anxiety my whole life but never like this. This last few weeks I've felt like there's something seriously wrong, like I'm going to die. I firstly convinced myself I had breast cancer due to breast pain in one breast. Then lung cancer because I'd pains in my chest. Now I'm terrified I've a brain tumour. I have dizzy spells throughout the day, feels like I'm on a boat. My eyes just don't feel right. I have headaches/pressure. I have brain fog and feel a bit disconnected at times and get so worked up I have to catch my breath. I visited the doctor yesterday he told me it's anxiety and prescribed me citalopram. I want to believe it's anxiety and not something much worse but it's hard to believe anxiety can make you feel this way! I had a scary experience earlier with the meds, I was having bad side effects. Sweating, extremely dizzy, stiff jaw, difficulty swallowing and just completely spaced out and high. Phoned doctor who convinced me this is normal and won't harm me, it will pass in a week or 2. So that was fine but then my left hand went weird. It happened once before about a week ago (before I started meds) lasted about half an hour then went away. Now it's back. From the middle of my forearm down to my fingers just feels not right. It feels a bit weak and there's the odd tingle like pins & needles starting only it doesn't start. Don't want to ring the doctor again or he will be sick listening to me! Has anyone had this as an anxiety symptom? Scaring the life out of myself! Thanks for reading <3

[teemarie]

Yes! I get cold chills like tremors kind of.. Burning in my chest.. Tingling/Numb in my fingers and hands.. I think what you have is called Health Anxiety where you get anxiety over your health.. I have it to an extent so I know how you feel.. You have every right to be concerned about your health.. Has anything happened that has caused you to worry about your health or it just came on suddenly?

[xxflossyxx in reply to teemarie]

Hi Teemarie

I had a bit of a rough childhood so I've always had anxiety that bad things were going to happen. If I bump into a friend in the shops I'll stutter and mess my words up, ill even avoid them if I see them first. I hate being this way because I'm quite a bubbly person when I feel comfortable. My anxiety kicked up a notch 5 years ago when my first baby was born. I'd finally created my own happy family and I became terrified something was going to go wrong because I was too happy. I talked to my health visitor and she called out every week and kind of counselled me till I felt a bit better. Lately tho two people I know around my age who both have kids have died of cancer leaving their young families behind. I've become terrified the same could happen to me. In the space of 2 weeks 2 other people I know have also died from other illnesses. I just feel a dark cloud is hanging over me and I'm panicking. I feel bad that I'm making what's happened other people about me but I can't stop myself thinking, obsessing about it. This last week has been a nightmare I've never been so scared I just want to feel normal again. I'm trying my best to calm down but I just feel like there's always a symptom that pops up and I'm straight on Google...worst idea ever!

I suppose the fact I know what's causing my anxiety is a positive step forward. Means I have somewhere to start and know what to work on. Do you know where your anxiety comes from? It's unbelievable the physical effects it can have on you, I never knew the half of it!

[teemarie in reply to xxflossyxx]

Awe love trust me! I know EXACTLY where your coming from. This hurt my heart because you sound just like me. My childhood wasnt hard per say but traumatical. My parents did not raise me my grandparents did. They did a fantastic job. I lost my gran six years ago a few months after I had my first baby. She was my best friend, my world. She passed at home and I was the one holding her when she went. That destroyed me. I had no time to grieve though because my son was in the NICU for awhile. I always just muddled threw I suppose. I met a great guy who loved me so much and accepted my son as his own. My family (i only have two people left) DID NOT APPROVE at all so I had to keep it a secret. On top of keeping that a secret my Uncle who helped raise me and I was very close with was murdered three days after I found out I was pregnant. Thats when the anxiety started was after that. I also always get scared something bad is going to happen because I am happy. I get depressed that my kids see me cry and have anxiety. Those thoughts cause my depression and it sucks. I got it under control and then just recently it flared back up like CRAZY but its just during the time for my period. I think it is a more hormonal issue. The doctors say its PMDD and want me on meds. Im not sure which way to go.

Sorry its so much. And DONT GOOGLE! It will have you thinking you got Stage 3 Cancer and its just a virus. I do it too so dont worry but it is important to cut back on. Do you do breathing excersises or see a doctor/therapist?

[xxflossyxx in reply to teemarie]

Aww that's awful, any wonder you suffer anxiety! My Granny and I were very close. She was the only one who knew what I was going through at home (mum was a bad drinker). She was the only one who tried to help and had time for me. I watched her die of bowel cancer in my teens then I was alone. It was that I think started my fear of cancer. Last night before I fell asleep the pain/discomfort started in my left breast again. The pain moves around the breast and the nipple feels sensitive. Sometimes it feels like it's my heart rather than my breast. I had this pain for a week before. The doctor said to wait and see if it went away after my period as there were no lumps. It went away by its self for a week tho. Period started yesterday and now it's back. Flying into a panic again! Just can't seem to stay calm, I don't know if it's maybe anxiety related too. I'll just have to try to settle and phone the doctor tomorrow and see what they say. This is awful! You hear all the time about people being affected like this but you never really understand till you go through it yourself. My doctor wants to see me again in 6 weeks and will refer me for counselling then if I think I need it. I try taking deep breaths when I feel the panic rising but are there other types of breathing exercises? Thanks for replying to me it's nice not to feel so alone with it all

[Hidden]

First of all, welcome!

Definitely sounds like you have health anxiety like me! It's not fun, it's really debilitating dealing with this constant mental battle with yourself on top of the symptoms. I also get headaches/pressure in my head and chest tightness or tingling, I feel like my stomach is doing flips, trouble swallowing and just all around feeling "on edge". I hope your medication starts to help you, I'm too afraid of taking medication because of side effects but I wish I could build the courage to do it! I hear you only have to deal with those annoying side effects for a few weeks before you Brody adjusts. If they continue then that might not be the right medication. Just keep track of the symptoms you're feeling so you can talk to your doctor about them.

Hope you feel better!

[xxflossyxx in reply to Hidden]

Hi AnxiousGirl93

Your right this really isn't fun! It's awful! I just can't calm down I just keep feeling the panic rise in my chest. It's always my left hand that goes weird, weak mildly tingly. I get pains in my left breast too which had gone but have started again this morning. Sometimes the pain feels like it's in my heart rather than my breast. It's usually only the left one I occasionally get a mild pain in my right that only lasts a second or two. That's me in a panic again this morning now I'll probably be back at the doctor in the morning! I'm still finding it hard to believe it's anxiety making me feel all these physical things. I'm still not convinced it's not something seriously wrong. What Is happening to me! I'm really scared and worried about the medication too. I've just taken day 3 and yesterday on it was horrible. I'm the kind of person who never takes tables not even for a headache but I'm desperate to feel likemy old self again. I've 3 kids under the age of 5, the youngest us just 8 months old. I need to be normal again for them. I can't have them growing up with a mum who is an emotional wreck and unable to enjoy life with them. I feel like I just want to sleep all the time, it's the only time I don't panic!

[Kainan]

Hi there. Anxiety disorders can be clinically diagnosed and have clear cut criteria to meet that diagnoses. What you have does sound a lot like anxiety. And yes, it can definitely make you feel awful. You say you feel numbness and a tingling feeling in your left hand and you feel uneasy around friends and mess up your words; these are two clear cut symptoms of anxiety. If you don't focus on managing your anxiety and go off worrying about something else, you'll only make yourself more scared and feel worse. You've got to focus on this right now, and this alone. Medications can certainly help, but like AnxiousGirl93 said if you don't feel a little better within a few weeks, then you should not be taking it. Work closely with your doctor, as that is super important. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy could also help along with healthy support from your family. Don't be too hard on yourself. One day at a time.