hi all, woke this morning after a bad night sweating and freaking out. Couldn't bring myself to do anything and have been completely paralyzed. Managed to email work to say i wasn't able to come in and couldn't bring myself talk to them until late this afternoon. When this happens I can't think logically, rationally, realistically and can hardly think of what my issues are. I've put off going to the doctor because i feel so intimidated but have an appointment tomorrow. My issues have always seemed to be depression over the last 20 years but as time goes by it is most definitely long periods of anxiety that get me to that dark place. I don't feel depressed at this time but I can see the anxiety much clearer than before. I have spent years trying to deal with depression/anxiety in a natural way - sleep patterns, baths, breathing, exercising - all those kind of tips but mostly I can say it just doesn't cut the mustard. I don't want to go back on antidepressants as I gain a massive amount of weight that detrimentally impacts on my self esteem and fuels a nasty depressive/anxious circle. Do any of you have any anti anxiety medications you could recommend so that I can go 'armed' to the doctor with? Thank you for reading this it's a great website to be able to check in with others that understand what I'm going through.