Hi all, hOw are we all? Well where to start today x I feel like I'm on a rant the last few and my head has never felt so full of crap. Mt cbt therapist has really done a number this week, I feel like I given up.
Today started well, got up had shower etc made dinner felt good. Then the neighbour started with her lies stupid silly likes. She sent me a message on fb asking if i felt i was being watched. Our houses are detached but if you stand in my kitchen window you can see straight down into hers (the houses are on a hill hers below mine ) you can also see straight up into her stair window so we don't have privacy much. I replied that yes I had seen her watching me from the stair window while I was washing up, to which she basically called me liar. I'm not blind I saw her and no disrespect but she is a large lady so you can't miss her. So to all on fb Im the liar, whatever Im not bothered she wants to fill her life with lies on her head be it.
And then the disagreement with the hubby, it doesn't happen often but today it did. We have a holiday booked in 4 weeks time, only a week at weymouth but I don't want to go. Im scared as I cannot even get out the house never mind go and sit in a popular holiday resort park full of people. I said Id go if I could sit in the caravan all day but nope he expects me to be better and go. Its making me feel ill, the stress and pressure have started. It was the same back in july when our 2 weeks to alcudia came round, I stayed home alone for 2 weeks, relied on online shopping and this site for company as no one came to see me. I cried for days and felt so alone. No one cared no one was bothered. And now he informs me he booking it again for next july and I have to go. I don't want to I wanna cry. How can I make him understand If o cannot leave the house I cannot go. He is supposed to be helping me get out with one to one company, but he is always busy. He takes kids to school goes at dinner time for youngest insulin, and the times in between he is either at hosp for his illness or shopping or theres something he needs to do. He goes to bed at 8pm every night and I just find now I am on my own. Sick and worried about this hol xxx Thanks for listening if you do xxx Donver