am i going insane?

[broonie]

hi im a new user and im at my witts end.ever since i was 15 years old ive suffered from panic attacks and irrational thought ..it first happened in a shopping centre completely out of the blue .everything seemed to slow down but my head felt like it was spinning and my hands where instantly clammy but i didnt get the racing heart.and i got the wierd sense of being in a dream .was this a panic attack. my inittial thought was to run home so i did . big mistake ! as my mother suffered from agoraphobia since i was born she nevver did anything about it and was taking vallium form me being a year old till the day she died . and through this we never had holidays or even days out with mam cos she just couldnt do it and would run home in a pannic .and i watched her do this from being a child.so when i got home and explained what happened to me she said it was panic attacks and sent me to the doctors who told me dont be silly you dont take panic attacks.so as a last resort i confided in a friend who seemed to understand but then proceeded to tell every one he new that i was mad .and a schizophrenic wich really stuck with me . that fear of going insane and doing something to harm myself or worse sombody else .so i started doing what my mam did and stayed within a cumfort zone of security i.e no more than 10 minutes from my home on foot .wich intern has waisted half my life . but i still can not shake the feeling and thoughts that im going insane so i started self medicating with alchohol. FOOLISH i know cos that really does make it worse . i would drink spirits from bottle just to surpress it fast and effectively then i wouldnt think about my thoughts of going mental/insane . and the problem with the night before is dark hell of the morning after when every is magnified by 50 and the only way to control it is with more alchohol .im off the drink now and being honest its only been 3 days since hopefully my last bender . if i can get this problem sorted with my fears i will stay off the drink full time as the only reason i drink is to black out for about 10 hours not for social reasons or because i enjoy it . its purely medicinal.so to sum it up ive lived with this for 16 years the fear of going insane . and really wanted to know if im alone hear or has anyone suffered this and am i to far gone for any help . and also the fear of being sectioned cripples me . sorry this ones bit long folks am just a newbie and wanted to get a lot in

[Lindenlea]

Broonie, I have had panics and agoraphobia for over 40 years on and off, but now they are back with a vengeance, I have been on Valium over 30 years, and am un able to count the anti-meds, I am under the hiospital, but they do not offer any therapist or anything, but see you in six months time, and now my husband has altizheimer which is making nme really ill, I just feel like sleeping the day away, , but have to helpwith my husband, we have carers come into him, but they will not lift him out of bed, Its a hell of a life, so do understand you. from Lindenlea. Blossom )

[broonie]

hello lindenlea . first off im so sorry to hear about your husband it cant be easy for you be dealing with your problems and to put on a brave face and do the best by your husband to...takes a lot off courage does that. but surely there has to be someone like a therapist or councillor in the hospital that they can refer you to for a little support for your self whilst going through what your going through . you need to go in there and demand some help and not be fobbed off with just medication all the time .

[Hidden]

Hi. broonie. The fear of going insane is all part of the anxiety illness and I would suggest we have all had it. If you were going insane you would not have been able to write the post you have, let alone explain clearly how you feel. There is a big difference between nervous illness and real mental illness so do not be alarmed or fearful. Most poor souls who are mentally ill do not realise they are and it is only their strange behaviour that indicates the problem. You have realised the alcohol is not the answer. This is a short term remedy to a long term problem. It is not just what it does to your nervous system but it can also have nasty physical results. Do your very best to keep off it, especially if you are on medication. They definitely do not mix!! Agoraphobia can be a nightmare, as you well know. Can I suggest that you get a copy of Dr. Claire Weekes' book, "Essential help for your Nerves". Only £10 pounds and well worth it. She got the MBE for her work with agoraphobics and there is not much she didn't know about it. You came from a very anxious background, as I did, and this does not help one little bit. But can recover and you WILL. Press on; please don't give up on yourself. There is always hope although it sometimes does not seem so. Best wishes. jonathan.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

By the way, no one is EVER too far gone for help. I have known people who have suffered for 40 years recover when treated the right way. (Whatever that is for them) so do not give up. HOPE is always present. Let us know how you get on. And do not listen to old miseries who tell you you will never get over "IT". This is just nonsense.

Blessings. jonathan.

[stde]

Yes i agree with johnathan---see my short profile....But it took me that long because there was nowhere like this to help me...no modern drugs to assist....the subject of mental health was taboo.....and men did not cry or talk about their problems.....and I was too proud .How lucky are you (although at the moment you may not feel this) to have all these barriers removed today.......I wish you well on your journey, the help is there today if you look....god bless...