Hi, i am a sufferer of anexity/depression/ptsd/bipolar basically whateva my body decides to blame at the time my thoughts run away with me and i always assume im suffering from something if not dying from it. Im 35 years old and have always had some form of anexity or so i thought. Without the detail i have,nt had the best in life various stepdads violence and a partner who wasnt afraid to show love in a fist kind of way and had a funny way of showing love, i am currently married to the best man in the world even though he has flaws they are nothing compared to what i went through. i have 3 kids and 2 of them have been very unwell almost dying on a few occassion, i grew up unloved by all but my nana n granda who have left me in the space of a year of each other and now im sorta alone bar my little family. I had some brilliant friends so i thought but these have used me and turned me against lesser friends to the point im now billy no mates so here i am alone confused n suffering i guess some would say karma for treating these lessers the way i did. My mam suffered from anexity and this was the first i saw of how this illness could mame people, i helped her so much in all the time she suffered, virtually running her life for her but i get no return help now. I have never been a confident person shying away from all situations letting people walk over me hiding , but i was beginning to feel better and thean wham like a bolt out of the blue this happened. The attacks started i stopped caring and gave up, i let myself go, some days i cannot even be bothered to get out of bed:/ i feel like givin up and letting go but then when i think thats happening it starts me panaking because i realise i want to live and be a good mam n wife, i just need to sort myslef out. I live in hope that one day i can return to my normal ways, sadly ive become a recluse to because im so shy and worried so bloody worried all the time about the way others see me i think if i go out and panic in public people will laugh, your all thinking now i am mad lol i think it myself. people try to give me advice n say dont think of others but hey ive tried its not working. anyway enough of the boring for now. any suggestions?? anyone feeling similar??