why do i feel this way??

Ive had a fair few years of my life feeling anxious abut anything and everything but have so far managed to plod on and get through things. i have never been a confident person due to my feeling this way and after a very difficult period of time in which my son was diagnosed with a life limiting disease which was cured by bone marrow almost dying a few times i felt life was on the up when i met a new friend who was very bubbly and outgoing. she increased my confidence and i was able to do things i could only dream of before. Long story short when i needed her the most she dropped me like a tonne of bricks and i became paranoid and felt like she was talking behind my back i then started to become panakiy when i thought i had to be around her when i was walking around i became out of breath and felt like i was havin a asthma attack which i dont suffer with. this became a increasin thing with bouts of feeling light headed and dizzy to the point of passing out creeping in. i saw my doctor who gave me betablockers and a app to see a conselloe waitin time means im gonna be waitin a while im now a recluse i darent go out thing is i cannot figure why ?? everytime i try i feel like im gonna stop breathing and die or that im gonna pass out and everyone will laugh. my tablets from the doctor are finished the attacks i had been left alone in the house have stopped but i just dare not take the steps outside any suggestions?? please help


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11 Replies

  • Please before we speak..spend a little time reading some blgs/posts to first realise you are far from alone............this will help...

    meanwhile be pleased to know that youv,e found a great site.................talk soon

  • thank you stde its very much a warm sorta feeling that im not alone but having read some of the posts most people are learning t cope with these feelings i guess i may be tryin to rush things but i dont wanna be stuck in the house 24/7 i wanna go out and live my life but i cannot x

  • donver

    You are not alone , You wont be stuck in 24/7 as it is clear you want to get well & You will get on with your life again , and Yes you may be in a bit of a rush as you seem to have anxiety , which takes time , sometimes "a day at a time " but slowly you will get there

    See this as a road you have just joined like on a motor way , some are way infront others just joined , some getting of , but we are all on the same road , that is the main thing & it doesnt matter where on that road we are , we no what it feels like

    You have had plenty to deal with and must be strong , as a mother to 3 grown up children , i cannot even begin to imagine the stress seeing your son so ill must have felt like , but you got through it & your son is well , so you will & can get through this now

    Try not to worry about your friend for now , people will let us down , its life & it hurts & we take it personally , but you are not at fault , when you are feeling stronger & you will you may feel you can talk to her about this , she may not even realise , but for now concerntrate on you

    I to always fear "what if " and people might laugh at me ... but think , if someone passed out would you laugh , thats our fear that they would but they wouldnt , i can assure you

    Have you been to your GP ? If not go & tell them how you feel , if you have go back again & tell them again how you feel , remember that is their job & this is nothing to be ashamed of

    This is a great site , people understand , keep posting

    whywhy x

  • ty whywhy x i did see my doctor but he gave me betablockers until the counsellor sees me.Ive run out and an i am not allowed more. i have had a very turbulent time with my son and know it was the darkest of days to come through, i to have 3 kids and do not want to let them down as they dont deserve a mum who cannot support them. i was pnce told i was suffering from ptsd but nothing was ever done to help i can understand there are others who feel like me and have moved down the road x my mum suffered from this for 12 year and suddenly woke one morning to find she was cured so i know it can be done x hopefully if i bide my time it will come x thanks x

  • donver

    why have you run out of beta blockers , did you take to many ? usually gp doesnt just stop them ? if it was because you did take to many go back & just be honest , they have heard it all before

    You have not & will not let your kids down , you are a brilliant mum , you have coped having to watch your child been ill & that makes any one in my eyes a good mum , also a good mum is like you are , things are not good , but you are thinking about your kids

    All they need is food on the table & a hug , you can manage that :-)

    whywhy x

  • i ran out as he only gave me 28 pack at 3 a day x he never issued a repeat perscription and i have to wait till i can see the counsellor to see what meds are next x i took the last few at 2 a day then one then half to ween off as he told me x ty for your comment it was lovley x

  • I no all doctors have their reasons for what they do , but I thought to put you on beta blockers , to no then you would be without anything as waiting for your appointment will take time ...do you feel the beta blockers were helping ? if there is a long waiting time before your appontment , dont be afraid to go back to GP ...explain how you feel ...they may give you something just to see you through till your appontment , you cannot loose anything by asking & I no i would even though I am not saying I would find it easy , but I would do it if I was struggling

    I would think about it , dont suffer more than you have to , mean while , keep posting , people will support you :-)

    whywhy xxx

  • to be honest he may of told me to return i just cannot remember i was cryin a lot at the time and it all seems a blur i am going to ring tomorrow to try and see if i can get something, at first i felt there were,nt helping but then i realised i was calmer and not stressing so much i also found my mood swings had calmed a lot but thought maybe this was more the thought of taking a tablet calming me as to maybe the actual tablet doing it i also wasnt overly keen as the side effects where quite bad so maybe after all they werent the best thing. I also have the problem at the mo of not actually wanting to leave the house i can go around my own garden but if someone comes into my home even a friend i start to panic so am a bit stumped as to hw im even going to get to the doctor or counselllor at the moment x i could be waiting a while for the counsellor. i ahve started to write a journal about how im feeling and was maybe even thinking of writing a blog one day to see if i can help myself and others thank you for ur kind words its nice to know im not alone x

  • I understand your not been able to go out , its fear , have the same problem , its something you can & will work on , may be not quite yet , but it will come back

    Mean while , when I have been as bad as you are feeling , I have jumped in a taxi , as I dont drive , took me to the door & then got one back home , back to the door , & I no now a days money is tight for lots of us , but when it comes to needing to see GP I think it is money worth spent !

    Could this be something you could do maybe ?

    Dont let the GP surgery put you of , as ours is getting worse at getting appointments , but if you keep calm but stay firm & say I HAVE to see someone today (or I have even mentioned a home visit if they say they have no appointments ) that soon makes them give you one !

    Once you have got your medication sorted & your counselling , & with this site things will start to improve :-)

    Let us no how you get on , keep posting

    whywhy xxx

  • Hi. donver. I feel at the root of the problem is your feeling of rejection. This can be a frightening and disconcerting feeling. To feel 'not wanted' or 'unloved' is something us, as humans, cannot cope with if we are in an anxiety sate. (Or any state, come to that). The feeling 'nobody loves or wants me' is shattering as is the response from people who laugh at you. Don't blame them. They just do not understand. We, on this site, do. I am of an age where I can say this from experience. There are people who take a perverted delight in making friends and then dropping them. It seems to give them a feeling of power. I am not saying your friend is in this category, but it is worth thinking about. Also, you are extremely vulnerable at the moment. Any little upset will blow up out of all proportion. Allow for this and accept that's how you are FOR THE MOMENT. As whywhy says, you should go back to your GP. No doctor will suddenly stop your medication if he/she really thinks you need it. The fear of going out (Agoraphobia) is a very, very common problem and do not be afraid of the word. It just means fear of open spaces. You can overcome it. May I suggest a book. "Essential help for your Nerves", by Dr. Claire Weekes. (From Amazon). She specialised in Agoraphobia and can be a great help in this rotten complaint. Good luck to you and please keep posting. jonathan.

  • ty i will try the book anything bat the moment to help x i am going back to see my doctor soon so hopefully he can help with the med situ x

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