fighting....

[mizzou7016]

the darkness....went to a 3 day seminar last week....realized that I don't have things as under control as I thought...going to work hard....but I'm beginning to understand that my "recovery" will be a life long continuous process.....and that some days will be better than others.

[Vonus5591]

yes the same difficulties do happen to me too

I think about changing meds but know that won’t really help

All you can do is fight it

You are worth more and you must stay on track

Sleep rest and think about it all again

Feel power to do good and achieve and control

Then just go with it

You've worked so hard upto now

And you have to give yourself push to achieve

if you work now imagine all that paying off

development will happen, you will learn and grow but just do it

[mizzou7016 in reply to Vonus5591]

thanks.....it's not so much that I've gotten off track...it's just that I'm not as far along on the journey than I thought i was....just need to keep working at it

[Vonus5591 in reply to mizzou7016]

make all mistakes while learning, but try to review as many times as you can so your memory so good it will come to you at speed of thoughts do

10 min more and 10 min more at another time and they will add up

rest as this makes your concentration sharper and review in those 10 min again and again

you will master the more you read the better it gets/absorbed, details take abit of time to absorb but asking yourself questions/comprehension key

[mizzou7016]

Yes....but it is complicated.....my current job has created a lot of anxiety, ptsd, and generalized depression....can't fix 27 years in just 2....

[Vonus5591]

paliperidone, some days better but I do take steps back when memories of trauma and what causes my depression, divorce, separation from family come back and abuse and neglect

[Vonus5591 in reply to Vonus5591]

it's risperidone type I think and just quick dissolving version - modified release

[mizzou7016]

I am on prozac...it is working well.....my struggles are more cognitive than medications...need to go back to some of my tried and true methods...

[jackiesj in reply to mizzou7016]

may i ask what those other tried and true are?

[mizzou7016]

I just had a week out of the institution...spent 3 days at a trauma workshop...triggered a lot of past trauma......and between the past trauma and current issues.....

[Vonus5591 in reply to mizzou7016]

alot of emotions to work through, all needs to be addressed and once you deal with how you got through it again- should that not help at all because you came out of it and you can again?

plus now you know better and more about yourself since you have worked on this?

[Vonus5591 in reply to Vonus5591]

do you think things have changed and that you would do things better? or get more support somehow?

someone said balance your life on rest/recovery/healing and work life - it struck out with me as good ideal

[mizzou7016 in reply to Vonus5591]

I think that I am dealing with them as well as i can...I just thought I was a liuttle further along in my "recovery process" I don't think that I would've dealt with anything different.....just need to keep working

[mizzou7016]

it does....I try to do cbt work and work on cognitive distortions....hoping to change my work enviornment in the next 4-6 months....time to move on from prison

[mizzou7016]

thanks....aprreciate it

[Downinil]

Such is life. Hang in there!

[jackiesj]

Love the wisdom and thankful you shared. thinking over things myself. Also realizing the wrong people around better to be more sane alone than crazy with them.