Fighting and endless fight

[LostinColorado]

Sorry if this is a rambling post, this is my first time posting and rally my first time opening up to a random group of people.

I am not sure where to even begin. My stress level is through the roof, I feel myself pulling away from everything, I feel as if I do not care about anything in life, I have lost my drive to succeed in anything I do anymore, I am picking fights with my family, loss of appetite, sleep pattern is chaotic, chronic headaches leading to blinding migraines, loss of sex drive. The only good thing is that I used to be very violent during these mood swings, not towards people but towards things, I feel as if I have that part under some control.

One thing will go wrong and then no matter what happens after that I will always find the wrong in everything else. It is almost as if I am willing everything to fall apart.

I am at a complete loss as what is wrong with me and why I am acting this way. This is really starting to have an affect on my marriage, not to mention my overall quality of life.

I truly at a loss of how to handle all of this.

[Hidden]

Hello LostinColorado. Thank you for sharing your feelings. You are very brave to reach out. It sounds like you have a lot of stress and it is starting to overwhelm you. Well done for stopping the violent tendencies. That is huge progress. Would you ever consider therapy to discuss all this with a professional? I think it could help you work out a lot.

[LostinColorado in reply to Hidden]

I have tried talking to someone in the past. Of the ones that talked to there was only one who didnt not seem to make it all spiritual in the beginning, but it quickly turned that way. I am not against talking to someone, but I am a g.d against making it all about religion. ( if that makes any sense)

[Hidden in reply to LostinColorado]

I am quite surprised the therapists you saw made the sessions spiritual as I have not heard of that before but it could be cultural. I live in the UK and it is very much scientific based. I can quite understand why that has put you off having therapy.

[LostinColorado in reply to Hidden]

I completely agree with the fact that it is purely scientific. Most of the therapists here in Colorado seem to think that by centering oneself spiritually that all will fall into place. I am still looking for someone that will be able to help me with all of this.

[Hidden in reply to LostinColorado]

I wish you luck in finding a more scientific based therapist.