Fighting suicidal thoughts

[Jonimo]

Hi I'm new to this site, although definitely not new to depression. I will be 60 in January and depression has been haunting me most of my life. A couple years ago I made an impulsive suicide attempt that very nearly killed me. While I've made progress with therapy and meds, I continue to slide into the muck of depression. And suicidal thoughts that both tempt and frighten me. I would love some ideas on ways to fight off these thoughts. Please?

[Hidden]

Hi I totally get this as I too have suffered from depression most of my life and I am a similiar age to you. I too tend to make impusive suicide attempts.

What I do is make a decision every day that this won't be the day I do it. Then I can relax and enjoy the day without thinking about it so much. Then the next day I make the same decision. I often think I have survived so long so what's the point now? I do hope my natural life isn't too long though...

The other thing I do when I feel especially bad is trawl the suicide sites. By the time I have realised there are no painless ways to actually do it, and read other's stories I have quite gone off the idea until the next time. It works for me.

The other thing I do is talk to my friends online which always makes me feel a bit less alone and disconnected. I have no one to talk about it in real life and have even been turned down for NHS counselling. I can't afford to pay so will just have to manage I guess. x

[Jonimo in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for sharing the ways you cope. It's great to know I'm not the only one to have these impulses. Therapists and doctors always ask whether I have a plan - never do. just overwhelming impulses. Now I have more tools in my toolbox. Thanks again!

[Hidden in reply to Jonimo]

I have been asked before whether I have a plan and I always say no coz I don't. I did tell the doctor once that I make plans on very short notice but that was ignored. You are not alone. x

[Sarah1111111]

I watch the golden gate video on you tube, cant remember who its by but its some guy who talks about the moment his hands left the rail he regretted it, and spent the whole drop wanting not to die. He didn't but most do - it makes me challenge my thoughts and think that I might regret it too.

Phoning Samaritans helps me - they have time to chat so it takes my mind off it, they also get you to think about reasons to live which can be helpful

I also have a box of photos of family, happy memories etc which I look through and that can help.

Even doing what the crisis team suggest and going out for a walk can help if you can get yourself motivated to get out the front door!

[Jonimo]

Thanks for sharing some good strategies

[Ddorne]

Jonimo, sorry you are feeling so bad. I will be 61 in October.Last year I had suicidal thoughts but no plans. It scared me so I put myself in the hospital for 10 days. It was a good decision. I felt cared for and in good company. I am not saying that's the only way. Please talk and connect to people. It's a blessing. 60 wasn't so bad nor will be 61. Prayers for you.

LD

[Jonimo]

Thanks. I have been in a psych unit twice now. once following my attempt, then months later when the urges took physical form outside my head. Totally freaked me out! I will check myself in if I feel powerless or scared. Now I'm just so weary of the battle with my own head. Wish I could just watch the thoughts drift by without getting triggered. something to strive toward anyway.