Fighting

Hi I'm 30 years old I live with depression since I was 14. Each time it hits it gets harder. Yesterday I was so happy and today I feel alone worthless a waste of time. The only think stopping me from being completely suicidal is my 3 year old son. I have thought about it but he is the only thing that gives me strength. I have no one and am fighting hard

[Hidden]

Hi welcome to the site. Are you having any help for your depression? Are you on any meds and/or having any counselling. If not your doctors is a good place to start.

[BonnieSue]

You definitely need to be under a psychiatrist's care and this doctor needs to know how serious you are about taking your life. Otherwise he or she may not know how quickly to get your medicine right. Please make the call in the morning because your doctor must always know that your medicine isn't keeping you from feeling really down. Report to your doctor's staff that you are very, very down and are having thoughts of hurting yourself badly. That you really need your medicine to bring your mood up fast and you will be anxiously waiting for a call back as to what change the doctor will make in your medicines.

Please keep us up on what you're doing by writing to us here, ok?

[Hidden in reply to BonnieSue]

I'm not doing ok I left a message at my doctors but tonight I kept going thru scenario in my head about how to die. I even tried overdosing but I couldn't do it I'm too much of a wimp

[BonnieSue in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for the update. I like to think that a part of you that wants to live kept you from doing yourself in. Not that you're a wimp. Winners don't kill themselves. The winner in yourself won.

[mysmugcat in reply to Hidden]

Hello sorry to hear this. Do you mean you did take eg a lot of tablets? Please go straight to accident and emergency if you have a plan to do this again and tell them your plan. I hope you get support asap. Phone the doctors back asap if you don't hear from them.

[Hidden in reply to mysmugcat]

Yes I took pills but I couldn't take enough and I ended throwing up most of them I couldn't do it even tho it's what I want

[mysmugcat in reply to Hidden]

So sorry to hear this, what is happening now?

[Hidden in reply to mysmugcat]

Im in bed sweating and dizzy with no will to get up and do anything

[mysmugcat in reply to Hidden]

Please seek medical attention honestly you took a load of pills

[Hidden in reply to mysmugcat]

And tell the hospital what I want to die so I tried killing myself I'm scared of doing that

[mysmugcat in reply to Hidden]

Hi why?

[Hidden in reply to mysmugcat]

Bc I'm embarrassed that I couldn't just kill myself now people have to waste time on me even more

[mysmugcat in reply to Hidden]

Your health is not a waste of time. Like you we have a mental health problem. If you don't seek help it won't get better. Sorry. I just want to help. I am worried about your physical body too having taken those tablets. Please seek help.

[Kobojunkie]

Please for the sake of that innocent child at least, get yourself to a psychiatrist and work closely with him to get you on a treatment plan that will help you live a happier and symptom free life.

If you think medication is bad, i will tell you that living depressed and suicidal with an innocent child is worse. Children are like sponges, they soak up what they see and hear particularly from their parents. Please give your child the best of his mother. The depressed, suicidal side of you is not the best of you. You can be a happy and emotionally more stable mother for him. So please head out to your doctor and begin the journey today

[Hidden]

Naty031414 - How are you???

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I'm good I got help and am doing a lot better thank you all

[Hidden]

I'm so glad that you got help!!