An old trauma randomly came on the surface because im home alone. I was never the type to cry about relationships, i had only one, but

[No_Longer_Human]

I realised the only boyfriend I've ever had, cheated on me. I was home with a broken leg, on the mercy of my alcholic mother and he changed. Firstly took days off for me, ordered food, played what i wanted to watch. Called me goddess, wanted marriage. Said Said stars aligned for us to meet. And when i was stuck home immobilized, my life was hell in general. I went there, 6 hours train with an injury, to find the clues. Also he was just going to work snd locking me in his apartment and i had frozen chips to eat and he was watching what he likes, then kicked me out because he wanted to sell drugs and said i should break up with him because he's selling drugs. I couldn't go home because sis was sick as always and mom said "if i have to take care of you again, i will die" and i had to go to granny's. Where i hot sick. On 29th feb i proposed to him and he said "he will sleep like an angel" but eventually broke up with me. Then said it can be just a break if i give him more attention. Then broke up with me again. When i went to my university accommodation, i felt lonely and texted him. He acted lovely dovely but said i should have texted earlier and he moved on 3 months ago. Just before my final exam there was an earquake and i texted him and he was cute but then said he's gonna move to Canada. I cried all night before my exam. His workplace bankrupted and he wasn't accepted in Canada so he just blocked me and went back to Amsterdam to his mom. O couldn't even say goodbye. I went to bed because my tummy hurts and can't stop and because im too depressed and grandma called. Im scared so many bad things happening.

Bad things are happening one after another, covid, dad's baby, drinking mom, chesting bf, and now out if nowhere when i was sleeping because my tummy hurts like hell, grandma. What's next? A meteor?

[Starrlight]

I’m so sorry these things are happening. We are more well than we are not well comes to mind. Things can get better. ❤️💕❤️

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Starrlight]

I really need them to. I can't get up from bed

[Starrlight in reply to No_Longer_Human]

I’m having that trouble today too. You are not alone.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Starrlight]

Why are men like that? Why is this all happening to me? Why i can't recover?

[Starrlight in reply to No_Longer_Human]

You can. Not all men are like that. You will recover… let yourself feel all your feelings and eventually you will heal.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Starrlight]

Since mom left, my feelings are running wild. Idk which man is good and if they have any interest in me

[Starrlight in reply to No_Longer_Human]

❤️💕❤️

[catsrock]

I'm sorry - I hate when a lot of bad things happen, dealing with that myself right now. I just keep trying to find the positive, even if it's the smallest thing, but it's hard. I hope things are better soon.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to catsrock]

Thanks. I see nothing good. Nothing means anything positive

[catsrock in reply to No_Longer_Human]

I'm sorry.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to catsrock]

Thanks. It's a hell. Idk why im still alive

[catsrock in reply to No_Longer_Human]

What's one (or more!) thing you can do to take care of yourself today? It could be as simple as taking a short walk, watching a funny video, looking at the sky, doing something like journaling or drawing, reading, making yourself a hot beverage. Just take things a few minutes at a time. I know it's hard, but I also know you can survive this and learn from it.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to catsrock]

I was going to take care of myself but mom arrived and I'm trying to not wake her up

[catsrock in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Hope you can do something for yourself sometime today.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to catsrock]

I want to but she shut off the lights and i can't watch stuff or read ir draw or cook, and i walked q lot but it's night, cold, dark, cloudy 😔