How can my mom be so manipulative and toxic? Anyone else with manipulative mother?

[Against_the_current]

And please don't tell me she's hurting.She sent me a text and i showed it to my friend and my friend confirmed it's manipulative as hell. Dad said he can't pay her phone bills no more and she's getting a new phone plan and a new phone and she's gonna give it to me for Christmas and get my old phone. I said okay. Now she texted me but i didn't see it so she called me to tell me to choose to get phone or money and i was really confused and she said read what i texted and in text she said she can't give me both because she's A SINGLE MOTHER and SHE WORKED IN UNIVERSITY, always the same single mother shit. I hurt when i hear it. And i told her i NEVER expected her to give me money and im fully satisfied with a phone exchange and If i need, i will ask dad. And what a coinsidence mom and Grandma told me in the same day that others work during university. Im mentally sick as hell, nobody wants to hire me. Also i'm studing for a phychologist, i need lisences to work. And they're not the ones worrying about me having money, dad is, and i asked dad should i work, he said he wants me to focus on study and that im a straight A student and this is an investition. Talked with my therapist, she said my ego is crushed. My self-esteem is crushed. I talked with my therapist, went out with a friend, and still can't recover from mom and Grandma. And Tommorrow im going to them for Christmas.

Btw im giving her this phone, i need to hide everything i wrote about her and everyone and i'm worried. I will get paranoid about her finding something.

Btw this friend invited me to hang out with her and her boyfriend on new year, idk whether i stay here and go there instead of going home after Christmas.

These decisions are killing me. Money or phone. Go or not. With my friend or with mom and sis. I'm off my limit. Couldn't even eat all day.

[Against_the_current]

Even If that means leaving mom and sis for new year?

[Oshgosh in reply to Against_the_current]

Yes

[Hidden]

Even as a Mom, if I thought for one second that I brought this much pain to one of my kids … I must tell you to move on and do what makes you happy right now. Go with your friends; Mom and Grandma will get over it. Choose PEACE! The rest will sort itself out in time. 🙏

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much Kelly 🙏

[Against_the_current]

Oh no 😭

[Against_the_current]

Because you said you want to be with your mom and sis and i don't want to be with mine. I want to be with them but they trigger my mental illness so bad. It's a really hard desision

[FantasyLife]

hello ,

i am in the same dilemma as you , u know like same situation too but a lil different my family is together nd i get triggered by mom nd dad nd my big bro , i always walk on my toes acting what not to not bother them nd protect myself from their words . i love my family but they are the ones who always hurt my mental state with talking and i lose myself because of it all the time idk wat to do . i am also studying psychology but they say how can you study psychology when i am the one who needs therapy .

i have no words to tell there but i know inside that whatever i am experiencing here will help me to better understand my clients in the future and even if i may change to b a cold person these past events will keep me at bay.

but i should get a job to be financially independent(then i dont need to depend on my fam) but i get scared and run away every time still need to work on that ..

nd this new year my friends invited me but right now i am the one feeling guilty for thinking of leaving my family if i go this will be the 1st new year in my life I celebrate away from my family and surprisingly my mom said ok but i said ill be going on28th for 2 days coz i was not firm on my decision yet i still need to ask her that i will be going there for a new year tho.. should see what she says, but changing this ritual is really hard u know nd my superstition too nd i don't know what to choose too. i may go to my friends i need change nd peace of mind in my new beginning...

[FantasyLife in reply to FantasyLife]

i dont know if this helps you but it felt good to know that i am not the only one.

[Against_the_current in reply to FantasyLife]

Same here. At least im not alone

[Against_the_current]

Thanks