Not sure what wrong with me / don't know what to do?

[Courtiangel]

Hi, not sure if anybody can see this but here goes, a month ago or two I got told I have been using a friend of mine which all I do is give give,the last I do everything for her and I'm not that person which I have been told countless times, it really broke my heart when this person said this I haven't been doing quite well because of it, then everything goes down from there I met some one nine months ago but lately he's big being ignoring me for two weeks because I have spoken out which I didn't realize it, lastly I workwise I haven't been happy in my job which I tolf my boss, she gave me different position but I have been doing the same position and not what have was meant to do, I very unhappy with all this, feel so alone. Thank you for reading.

[KP-HSP]

Sounds to like you have been people pleasing and perhaps subconsciously, you have had enough and are starting to have boundaries? If people are used to you putting them first, they do not like it when you say no or decide things need to change! A good maxim, “if you behave like a doormat, people will walk all over you”.

When you speak out, it comes as a shock as perhaps, you kept quiet before? Having to speak out means you have a problem which you cannot ignore anymore. Trust your gut instincts, your inner voice is there to protect you when things do not feel right.

Perhaps try to explain to your friend and partner how you feel? See what they say.

Good luck!

[Courtiangel in reply to KP-HSP]

Thank you. Unfortunately still no contact from both very heart broken. But can't do anything.

[012703060610]

Friendships can be so difficult. I swear I do worse with friend break up than a romantic break up. I literally want to write a post about givers and takers. My psychiatrist taught me something called the drama triangle that was developed in the '60s and the roles we all play in a relationship. We often shift our roles at various points. However, this concept helped me to start to identify toxic relationships more clearly. I, too, give a lot. I don't even want much in return. I like KP's suggestion on perhaps questioning their behavior. A few summers ago, I basically gave up on my best friend from college. We both have kids the same age, we used to see each all of the time since we are about 30 mins away, I have been dealing with very complex health issues and went through a divorce. She was no where to be found. So a few summers ago, I made no contact to plan something like I normally do. Eventually she said she could see me anyway due to her summer plans (no further explanation). I just let her know that I thought our friendship had run its course. I had to confront the situation. It ain't easy, but she did reflect. At first she lashed out pretty hard. Then she talked to her sister in law who lost a friend due to physical health. I too am terminally ill. Finally she called and apologized. We still aren't the same. I stopped trying because it has been so hurtful as the giver for over 20 years. This summer she reached out to me and we will all get together. Getting it off my chest really helped. Drama triangle link:

leadershiptribe.com/blog/th....

[Courtiangel in reply to 012703060610]

Oh, I'm so sorry, hope you are OK now..? But unfortunately the guys I'm was seeing is still no contact, I found out I have speken out somewhere, but but know where he won't say. So I'm taking this as a breakup. Not doing well.. But I'll get through.. Hope you are well and fine.. 😊 Sorry for the message

[012703060610 in reply to Courtiangel]

Never apologize for a message. Someone not telling you where they are is SHADY business. I know it stinks. Better to know now than later! And I'm totally fine. I mean I'm mad that I have these stupid diseases, but am trying to work to acceptance. You never know, maybe I will get there.