I deleted Facebook around a year ago, and after that I have felt very isolated. During that period of time there has been a lot of introspection and I have noticed that I never receive messages from family members. It is always me sending messages. And then they often stop responding even if I am not really talking about anything negative.
It makes me feel pretty bad about myself. I am a caretaker for my dad and I don't think they see it as legitimate work even though it takes daily effort to really do that job. I feel like there is gossip about me that has spread among them.
I am not attending Christmas this year because I am afraid of COVID. It is still the 3rd leading cause of death in the US, plus they are having trouble treating people with Long COVID (they are getting Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, probably from inflammation in the brain caused by the immune system response to the virus).
Of course when I talk about the dangers of Long COVID ect, I am basically treated like a fool, despite the fact that I read peer reviewed studies about this research by actual doctors.
Anyways I just wanted to put this here, because it is something that has really bothered me. But I will keep meditating, doing my therapy, and just trying to love myself. I am not a bad person for being afraid, the world is a dangerous and scary place. I just want to be somewhere that I feel safe, and I do not feel safe here.
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davidthecoder
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I hear you loud and clear. I feel the same way. I will be spending Christmas with my dog Betty. I have anexity and depression along with IBS. So I have to carefully what I eat. Nice know I am not alone. Merry Christmas to everyone.
Yeah I have a hernia and need dental work done as well which is embarrassing. I will be glad when I am through this particularly challenging period in my life. Anxiety is quite a bit more difficult to manage than I would have imagined, before I had to deal with it first hand. Now I know and have a better understanding...
Hello David been a carer to a parent is the hardest job there is, I had my dad stay for 4 days I had few hours sleep had to watch him all the time in fear of him falling etc, I help my mam out also but she's still pretty independent it's v upsetting watching them change and grow older and loose there independence, I lost my job during pandemic as was living with my mam back then and I didn't want to risk getting it and giving it to her I walked out on my job with a selfish misogynist driver when I was passenger assistant for special needs children, he was funny about wearing a mask and the child couldn't either I panicked and got out the car when he said when we get on the motorway the windows be closed, it was a 3hour drive there and back then again on pick up, I regret loosing my job I miss it but don't regret that I put mam's safety first and she's now 84 my dad died during lockdown I couldn't see him as he was dying as needed to keep mam safe I watched him and myself at his bedside through the window, of the care home, you are a very caring unselfish person and should be proud of yourself, we me and mam stay on our own for Xmas dinner if your family don't understand there not worth it take care of yourself 🤗✨🌟🌈
Thank you for your response! In some ways, you remind me of myself. I agree that safety comes first. That is actually my anxiety trying to protect me and others. It is also how I have managed to stay out of trouble.
I do wish they would message me more because after awhile, I just realize that it is always me reaching out. I understand people are busy and that my anxiety could annoy others, but of course it is much more annoying to myself than it could be to anyone else lol.
But I guess I just need to accept this and do what I can to better myself, rather than dwelling on these worrying thoughts.
Yes that's right it's same in my family no one hardly messages us because there too busy, I suffer from health anxiety too and still don't want COVID I had it last year I had temp bladder problem and knocked me off my feet a bit mam had it too I had to look after her whilst I had it I could only do so much she was in her bedroom at first few days I actually cought it off her a lady sneezed at her in shop, so selfish some are, I have slight asthma and my hearts kinda poundy if stressed I take proprononal during these episodes a beta blocker adrenaline suppressor it helps me sleep and calms everything I'm having chamomile tea that helps too then bed, this time of year makes everything harder for all, spring is round the corner try foccus on that 🤗✨
That is so great that you found something that helps with the pounding heart. I get that often as well...I thought it was just the anxiety before, but now I realize caffeine was playing a big part in that. The two seem to work together to make it quite a bit worse.
So I only had one cup of coffee today and yesterday, already feeling some relief but still too early to know how much it will help if something really triggers the anxiety.
And yeah the fact that people will go around even if they are symptomatic, its a very selfish thing. I order my groceries online even, it can be done where you don't have to expose others just because you need to go buy something at the store. I also saw a lot of people wearing their masks with their noses poking out. That completely eliminates the purpose of a mask...
And so this is one aspect of the pandemic that has been particularly difficult, just dealing with people that act in a manner which puts others at risk.
I am caffeine sensitive I do have caffeine tea but keep decaf in too if my hearts poundy but am relieved when get back on the caffeine tea tea bag for a nice cuppa tea lol I do notice the difference in flavour the decaf are tastier in smaller cup or put 2 bags in lol, it's a cheak as there more expensive I always have decaf coffee I found a brand I love I don't drink much tho, I drink milky cocoa sometimes too but that makes me pick the chocolates up out the Xmas dish lol and dip in🤩 but we deserves our little treats I love cheese and red wine in moderation of course these days anyway 🙄 I worry about my cholesterol and damaging my heart and liver brain etc I used to binge drink like a full bottle when stressed but my health anxiety kicked in and saved me, that's one good thing about it at least I basically have a health lifestyle I found swimming really helpful and walking in nature when it's nice weather as you know, well I'm looking forward to Xmas just to get it out the way I'm always anxious with my step dad dying boxing day many yrs ago and mam having heart attack Xmas day but we usually have a nice dinner dinner together with my cat 😹 were off to bed now I hope you sleep when you go I am ok sleeping these days but used to play cd hypnosis in bed when under stress few years back I will again if need 😊😴
So nice to chat with you, cheese and wine sounds so delicious. But no wine these days for me, I quit drinking alcohol because I tend to go overboard. It actually calmed my anxiety but obviously my liver was not happy. And it made me kind of lazy.
I want to start swimming so bad, but I have to get surgery on a hernia. I am worried exercise will cause complications so I am taking it very easy until it is corrected. Building up the courage has been tough.
My son (carer) and I will be on our own this year, both fighting our problems (he's recently diagnosed with diabetes), I'm ancient and crumbling (probably haunted!) So, we will be taking care with the diet over the Holidays!🤣🤣
Different people have different experiences that shape them. My daughter was hospitalized for the flu a few years back, and a healthy girl died in the hospital that week with the same flu. So I understand how serious Covid and flu can be. People are not very understanding and ignorant some times. I'm sorry you feel isolated from family. But I do understand your fear. I was at the grocery store the other day, someone sneezed and didn't even cover their mouth. I was so grossed out and went to a completely different aisle.
Glad to feel less alone, thanks for the message. And yeah, changing aisles sounds like exactly what I would do. Taking care of an elderly person ramps the caution up to 11 out of 10, because I feel a great responsibility to be careful.
I don't think I will be this way forever, and eventually I will let go of the fear. It can really paralyze a person as I have learned. But I see the challenge as an important step in my self development.
Can I ask, why not sign up to Facebook again? If that is where most of your friends were, perhaps they'd love to see you back there again. You can make your page private, as well as block those you might not want to hear from. Then you may find your friends again.
Caring for a parent is a very demanding “job”! Somehow they think because it’s a relative it’s not a job! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it! I cared for my mom for 10 years and although she was very self sufficient it took planning to get her to appointments and making sure she ate and took her meds.
Long covid is very real. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Your dad depends on you. Don’t let other people make you feel bad for taking precautions.
So glad to have come to this group and be able to connect with people that get it. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave this message...
Also you are right, that I shouldn't feel bad about it. I also need to be mindful that my family members might also be having their own difficulties and possibly even anxiety. So I think it important that while I might have this negative feeling that I should still be considerate and loving rather than bitter and angry. I know that everyone is struggling really, not just me.
Long Covid is a medically recognized condition....it's no longer just ignored...only by idiots who think they are immune or who have never suffered from chronic fatigue and endless side effects from Covid. I no longer entertain that kind of ignorance as I have been fighting the good fight every day of my life....and everyday I have reminders of having no resistance to infection, and am immune compromised now permanently. You should avoid getting Covid if you can, because if you are one of those unlucky millions that suffer the after effects, you will know what it's like to have no quality of life as you once knew it.
I had perfect health all my life, no broken bones, glasses, braces, chronic ailments, no allergies, healed quickly, perfect....now I live from day to day... dealing with the next round of side effects that change like a computer worm that travels from your hard drive, to memory cards, to program software alteration, to internet interruption. There is no cure, and nothing really helps but sleep.
So yeah...be smart, Covid does not discriminate....how healthy you are does not matter once you are infected and if you get long covid...buckle up....
You probably did yourself a favor David by getting away from the Facebook or social medias. People are just strange. Sometimes I think everyone is so concerned with the social media but in actual reality doesn’t have a second for texting or calling or checking in. Don’t over personalize, cause it’s probably not even you but a reflection of them and their issue. I feel ya though cause I experienced that with a lot of people and got tired of being the one reaching out or initiating or organizing gathering.
As for big holiday gathering and being afraid you’re more than entitled to be afraid and valid. I feel people over downplay virus dangers and to each their own, but no one should look down or judge anyone who is afraid. I find it disturbing myself. So I hear ya. Lifting you in prayer. 🙏🏻
Always glad to see your posts around here, and you are right about the over personalizing. And just overthinking in general. It really just helped me to write this out and share. I find that to be therapeutic in a way. Before I found this group I didn't really have a place to express these feelings which was quite unhealthy, except for with my therapist. But with those meetings being every two weeks now, this has really helped me between meetings.
Isolation is very hard. You are doing a really hard job - caretakers are not given the recognition they deserve. I felt the same when I stayed at home when my daughters were young - hardest job I've ever had - there are no coffee, lunch, or even bathroom breaks! I hope you find lots of support here, it's a good group.
If U don't worry about ur health then I bet no one else will.
Also U choosing to stay safe it may feel or be called selfish but I refer U to the above that if U don't care about ur health then who will.
Nothing wrong with staying at home but the saddest part is none of ur family seem to get in touch with U.
Where U live do U have good friends nearby, so U can go out for a night out at the disco in ur flares & platform shoes & carrying a can of paint ..... SORRY that's Saturday Night Fever.
Make new friends locally , yes family should be there for U but if they're not don't be defeated & create new memories & no better time to start than NYE.
Why not allow,them to send the,first text or WhatsApp message to U & take it from there.
Also get to know people here too , so there always people who understand ur situation.
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Confronting my family
A message from my ex
feeling abandoned and like an outsider in my family
I feel like I need to cut my family out of my life, and it's frightening me
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