I know this sounds crazy and it probably is, but I am afraid of my therapist. I don't know her very well and I feel like she is pushing her personal views on me. I really care what she thinks of me. I can change therapists easily. I am scared to tell her how I really feel. Also what is the point? I feel like it is just making me feel bad about myself lately. Is that the point? I didn't used to feel this way about any other therapist. It's like she's opening my soul and criticizing it. Is this good? Or is it too invasive? I feel like she could really do some damage at this level. Should I continue out of curiosity and a need to finish what I started? How do I know this is safe? What if she is a psychopath?
Sorry. Maybe someone will laugh at this which would make me laugh too because of the ironic painful satire bursting out. Can't I just be accepted for who I am now? I know I should be grateful for her. I just realized I can ask her to go slower. This will give me time to analyze the situation logically. Anyone else relate to this?
I can relate as it was difficult to open up to my counselor. I cared too much about what she thought of me which interfered with the counseling. Sounds like you have had other therapists and I have been told it’s ok to shop around for the one you are most comfortable with! Shouldn’t feel like you’re stuck with one who makes you uncomfortable.
By all means asking her to take things at a slower pace sounds like a good idea.
Best wishes.
in reply to
Thank you. I feel kinda silly. I just kind of needed to vent and make sense out of my feelings.
Yes, I did laugh at your series of questions ending with "maybe she's a psychopath". I could literally imagine the gears turning in your head😆.
Seriously, though, if she scares you you should switch therapists. You say it's hard, which I completely understand. I worry about how others view me as well. I know it shouldn't be the case, but it's true.
You need to respect and assert yourself. That is hard for me too, but I'm getting better at it. I hope you do as well.
Please don't worry about upsetting her. She should be able to handle it. It's probably happened before that people have switched on her (I mean, especially if they think the same questions you do🤪)
The psychopath part made me laugh, she’s probably not!
However, everything else is ok to feel (it’s ok to think the psychopath path too if that’s what you really think but I sense that might be your imagination/anxiety running away from you)
The relationship you have with your therapist is so important to how well it works for you and if she’s not a good match, that’s fine to try someone new. I saw a counsellor before my current therapist who was not for me AT ALL but I stuck it out for a while because I thought I should. I got absolutely nothing from it and was SO relieved when I ended the sessions with her.
You know Andrea, you are reacting very normal for a therapy patient. After all, we literally bare our soul to a professional stranger. It takes time to feel comfortable. On the other hand, most anxious people are the kindness, nicest people you would want to meet and sometimes we fear being pushed into something we are not ready for.
Over the years, there were several times that I felt like hanging up on my therapist because
she was pushing me to do something I wasn't ready for. Over time, I realized she didn't want me to stay stuck. She was pushing for me to go forward but it wasn't the right time for me.
Therapy is difficult to begin with and if and when we start having doubts it defeats the idea
in why we are there. In reality, we are the ones in control, we're just too nice to relay that
sometimes. I think it's a great idea for you to tell her to go a little slower right now.
Let me know if you do that and if that works out better for you. My best Andrea xx
Update... She is an amazing therapist. I told her how I felt and she didn't get mad at me. In fact I feel like I have had a breakthrough since then relating to others is getting easier and kind of fun.
in reply to
Well, that is a relief! Here's to her not neing a psycho🍻
Seriously, though, I'm glad she's a good therapist!!
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