AFTER TODAY, my hatred towards my shitty family has never been this bad
Today my family all had a fight , i cant stand it anymore , in a nutshell it didnt end well , and each family member did something today to piss me off and actually make me lose respect for them and a bit of trust ..they are so manipulative and they take advantage of me , i never hated them like i do now
My mom is a total bitch who treats me nicely when she wants money from me or my sisters , only to use them to go to cafes and clubs each night , each time i ask her for therapy, doctor appointments, car rides or anything , she says yes then she never fullfills her promises, i havent been to a doctor in so long and i have been asking her in so long , she doesnt care really and she makes me carry the responsibilities between her and dad, “tell this to your dad” “do this” “do that”, my mom just lets anyone take advantage of her from outside the family , maybe the same boyfriend who she is with on and off for the last 4 years who is worst person i met, but she is such an idiot who would never take an advice regrdless how many times he lied, cheated, and simply ghosted her , did horrible things, she always says she will never get back to him but every month or somthat happens for the last 4 years with no exaggeration so you can imagine how many times she was manipulated and im done honestly , i try my best to be the best son and respect her and do it alll for her but she doesnt treat me like the son i should be , and she treats people outside who dont deserve that nice treatment
My dad is an insane alcohol addict who is very manipulative, controlling , abusive and very very stubborn and never hears others, throughout my life and my mothers life, he never admitted he is wrong about anything,he doesnt have any friends because he believes he is superior to them , he always sees himself as god and everyone are his slaves , he never ever hears what i say and he sticks to his fucked up conspiracy theories that everyone just envies him and wants to take advantage of him and thats why he does weird shit ,he beat me and my family members at times , and he litteraly makes up problems or nothing , simple things turn to huge problems, he is also extremely sexist and always critizes women, and people in general , he is very racist too , fuck them both honestly what shitty parents
My sisters are not abusive or anything but i really believe they are crazy, im not afraid of them and i figh with them alot , but they are also manipulative , and take alot of advantage , like they always used to convince me to do things like sneak them into the house or out of it , bring boys over , not tell secrets i find out , hide things , tell lies , etc..
My mom even encouraged me to get a tattoo which she was against only when i said i would pay for hers , which symbolizes her and i really starting to hate
My brother is the sae as my dad, a drunk probably drugs imdont even know m and he has alot of mental issues which my parents supported while i was having anxiety yet no one wupported me and helped me , i really dont see them as a family and i wont really feel bad if we stopped talking or they move out, go , die i dont care about anything anymore, today has been so angry filled and after all i faced this year, i realized how short life is , and how you should not allow anyone not even family to take advantage of you , they try to make it subtle but its obvious , i hate them alot , and i dont wish bad for anyone but i really just wish i would grow ip , start earning , and stop being under their mercy because i need my life so i dont want to wish them bad but i really dont care about them and they deserve for what they keep doing to karma bite them in the ass
There is sooo much more to my family this is just the main recent things but they did so much that i find it hard to forgive , including my mom never defending me when my dad would hit me , or verbally abuse me , and cause problems out of air , and how my family always say im being a baby , or im not a man im a girl and i need a tampon because im acting like a lil girl , because i said more than once that i have anxiety disorder and panic attacks and alot more and i need therapy which they said i have to finance , like how .,? Yes i can save up i can pay for a couple sessions perhaps but why, im not asking for a kids toy , im not asking for some5ing , parents should be aware l i cant ever treat my son like that and ignore their needs and just not be there when they need anything , many things i dont have , postpone because i cant afford or get ..and its fine but they treat me so poorly and alot of things are not done right , they are not bad people, but they did bad things and each time i think it will get better but nithing does , fuck them honestly really one of the worst people can be your family
How will i ever trust people if i dont have a family that i can trust well, i mean i have severe trust issues where i do things that i wonder why like if i leave my wallet in my room and inhave someone over i look all over thinking it got stolen or something, i just think that im always hated or targeted and they did this to me , i dont know what to do , how can i trust and think people want what is best for me if my family doesnt ..even the people here , i feel i never getting the support i need and i can do it alone , so whats the solution , i really sometimes think i should not even be here , because i just feel so bad that i dont want to talk anymore or explain anything and i just feel hopeless, ..