Wish someone was making same efforts

[winternight]

I feel lonely everytime I see how stupidly I make those efforts to keep everything fine. More lonely when I care about someone not sleeping angry or in a bad mood, but she doesn't reciprocate. She doesn't mind mis interpreting me, how I must be sleeping after listening to that, or when she can go to someone else but not call me back to make peace. But she can text back to hurt me back when I even don't know why. When I am doing so much to move on. Why she becomes like that like before when she is in that mood. Which reminds me bad memories. And I can't sleep. Why noone cares, don't even bother that how I must be feeling, if I slept well. Why has she changed. Why can't she come as soon as she gets time and ask.. what happened.. why did you say that.. Will it always be like this now.. Will I be one sided.. Does she know others affect her mood... But she only still affects mine...

[Ellamaye]

You sound lonely your not alone

[winternight in reply to Ellamaye]

Thankyou for responding. It means a lot. I hope you're okay. Let me know how you're doing

[Ellamaye in reply to winternight]

I'm ok . Times are hard obviously or I wouldn't be here but today was a 7 out of 10 lolR u OK?

[winternight in reply to Ellamaye]

Yeah I guess we all are in the same boat somehow here. Good to hear you're 7. I had a bad night, so I am quite low today.

[Ellamaye in reply to winternight]

Uou having relationship problems?

[winternight in reply to Ellamaye]

Sort of. The relationship here is friendship or you can almost say family which I consider

[Ellamaye in reply to winternight]

Fair enough say more if you like or not x

[winternight in reply to Ellamaye]

Right now I just feel bad, anxious and kind of trapped. I want to come out of all these emotions, but it seems they affect everytime and make the days hell. And then all the efforts again to recover

[Ellamaye in reply to winternight]

Have you gone to a doctor or therapist? Just asking because it's the first step really of changing things

[winternight in reply to Ellamaye]

I know it's the first and important step but I am a student and I can't afford therapy.

[Ellamaye in reply to winternight]

What about confiding in a family member then? Anxiety doesn't just go away I don't mean to upset you but it usually gets worse

[winternight in reply to Ellamaye]

I know, i am a psychology graduate. But I can't talk to anyone in the family. I wish I could too. But noone is there

[Ellamaye in reply to winternight]

Well at least your on here talking about your feelings that has to be a positive thing

[winternight in reply to Ellamaye]

Yeah, I am glad for this platform. Tell about yourself as well if you're okay with it. Listening to others if they need is what I prefer at this time.

[Ellamaye in reply to winternight]

Hey that's my line lol I feel I can support or offer advice (good or bad) when I read others dilemmas but am lost with the answers to my stuff...

[winternight in reply to Ellamaye]

Hahaha. I get that. I am sure it's good only. Because your intentions are the best. And the being lost in our matters part is true..

[Ellamaye in reply to winternight]

It's good to share on here though because my friends family response to things is usually.. aw poor you followed by ok pull yourself together now lol. Or to ask me again what's the matter? Knowing full well I've explained it all a million times before

[winternight in reply to Ellamaye]

I can understand that, anyone except here doesn't resonate with what we could be growing through.

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi WN.

U can't control how others think or feel & U can't dictate how others change. If others change then it's on them as only the person can change themselves.

So if the person has changed & change in a manner that doesn't include U then U need to stop grieving & move on with ur life. Right now U've stopped doing things for urself as U believe ur happiness comes from someone else , when nothing ever comes from others but from ourselves & within. If we allow others to hurt us & not deal with why we're in pain then never expect answers from those that U believe have them , the only true answers that any of us seek are those that we answer for ourselves.

One last thing & I don't mean to offend ( it will offend some ) . Please write it as it is , there is no need for something out of a romance novel & to me that's how it reads for the first 3 quarters of it. ( I'm a man so I won't see the romance in it but I'm brutally honest & some think too honest ) .

I however do hope U stop looking at the person who has changed for answers to the dilemma U are facing within & deal with that & remember this only we can truly change ourselves & not others force any of us.

Ur in India so I'll put it in a way that I hope makes easiest sense.

If a person of one religion is in love with someone else of another religion & to be with them they change their religion so they can be together is something that the person chose to do & not was forced to do. That person changed so they could be with the person they love above all else.

Happens all the time all over the world & its as old as religion itself. Again I repeat only U have the answers within & remember U can't force the person back to how it was as it may be their time to change just as Urs will come too.

Lastly.

I wish U love &light on ur journey.