Dear Someone: I used to keep a journal... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Dear Someone

LMCello profile image
7 Replies

I used to keep a journal all the time. But when my depression started I noticed that when I went back and read what I'd written, it would make my depression worse. I was either angry that I wasn't that happy person anymore or I was upset that I have still been stuck in this. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but the point is I just don't like to read what I have journaled. So I had an idea. Well, actually I stole it. Lol. Anyone read The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Great book. The book is all letters written to some person that we never find out who it is. But it doesn't matter. The point is that someone is reading those letters. And someone cares. Even if the writer never hears back from the reader or even meets them. So I started writing letters. I thought about sending them to random addresses, but I don't want to pay for that much postage. So I am writing them and leaving them somewhere for someone to find. If someone reads it, great. If not, it's okay. At least I have processed what I need to for that day. I've written it down. And I have hope that someone will read it and care.

Am I crazy for doing this?

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LMCello profile image
LMCello
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7 Replies

Hello

I can definitely relate to your reaction when reading journal entries. So I don't think you're crazy. As far as your new idea....i am not so sure lol. If you feel like that works for you then more power to you but I don't have enough courage to do that. My journal is where I vent because I have nobody to share my thoughts with or nobody I can fully trust with my thoughts. But I will say that I will add the book to my reading list. Reading is one enjoyment that has never faded away. Good luck & keep me posted on what you decide to do 🙂

melbrown profile image
melbrown

Hi LMCello. I think it's a great idea. Think I've heard of other people doing similar things.... like leaving little love/Happy notes for random people. I think I have a book about someone doing it. We can feel so alone in our anxiety/depression for so many reasons.... this might be a good way to get some of your thoughts feelings out... maybe someone else battling same will find your note & feel less alone or /& better. You'll feel better cause you'll get "it" out & won't see the journal & get upset. Let us know if you do it.... 💛

I think it's a fab idea. I can't bring myself to read my journals I wrote pages and pages but it's all very negative and upsetting so I think I will leave them unread. However I sit looking at them and can't quite bring myself to throw them away. With your idea you will never have that problem. You never know like the person before said they might help someone else know they are not alone if they read them. Perhaps you could add like a helpline number on the bottom in case people need it, like the Samaritans.

LMCello profile image
LMCello in reply to

That's a good idea! I've never heard of the Samaritans. What is it?

in reply to LMCello

It's a free national helpline in the uk but also I think some other countries although not sure which one. They are amazing and as volunteers have much more time to listen than crisis especially in the night

CaptainCrunch profile image
CaptainCrunch

Yes. I have same trouble reading my old journals. Nasty painful things. I have enjoyed just tearing them up and burning them as a way of letting go of some of the old wounds and pain. If I am still dealing with anything inside it will resurface and hopefully be processed in better ways in future entries. Thanks for posting. It is a relief you and others feel the same.

LMCello profile image
LMCello in reply to CaptainCrunch

That's exactly what I did when I was like nineteen and relapsed back into depression. I burned every single one of my journals. I wish I had kept some parts... but I am an 'all or nothing' type person.

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