Can I change, improve?

[Gandolfication]

Can I really make what has proven the very hardest, change in my life, right down to my relationship to disturbing thoughts and feelings, and to the maladaptive behaviors that have plagued my life and kept me mired in suicidal depression and anxiety?

It is the very nature of depression and generalized anxiety to believe I cannot...and because I have tried so much and so far not been successful in the way that I want, the evidence would seem to be initially against me.

And yet I know better. From a lot of reading (Personality Isn't Permanent for example), and from meeting and knowing real people who have made difficult change in their lives. So too can I. And I must and I will.

This is a scary question. Presumably, I've taken some perverse comfort in not pushing myself enough to get past certain fears of failure, anticipation of pain and suffering from past events, etc. to make this change. I'm simply willing to let go of the struggle, as trepidatious as I feel about that.

I am willing, and will practice that willingness and get better. That's my attitude. I'm sure I'll doubt this, but I'll also keep practicing old and new things, and keep getting help, until I get traction.

[Marysblue]

Yes, willingness to keep trying. Things change, new treatments.