Hi, I'm new and hoping advice for change

So I am 25 years old and it seems like anxiety and depression has completely taken over every aspect of my life.

Long story short I moved away from my home to finally have some sort of life for myself, you see I suffer with EDS a condition which means I dislocate very joint in my body, suffer with chronic pain and many other wonderful side effects and symptoms of this condition. Thing is I have never been one to quit so despite this I dragged myself up got to university for a fresh new start and I managed.

After a year of university things started changing I found it harder and harder to get to lectures found it easier and easier to make excuses to stay at home, that has never been me.

Now I find myself out of university away from my family and friends locked in the house terrified of what lays outside, it is unusual that I only just realised what has happened, I don't even know who I am anymore, after finally working my way to doctors turns out I have anxiety and depression I've been put into cognitive behavioural therapy and I want things to change but where to start, its like my life has been put on pause and I want to be me again but I cannot get back I am looking at who I was and have no idea how to become who I am meant to be now I am so lost.

6 Replies

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  • Oh Jenny,

    I'm so sorry that you're having this problem! How frustrating this must be!

    It's good that you're in CBT but that's a slow process. Are you also on medication? Often a person is doing both therapies at once. It's anxiety that keeps you locked inside your home and medication for anxiety can help set you free. But that same medication can be hard to get. If you want to, please tell me what meds you are on. I can give you an idea what med is doing what job for you, which you may know already or you may not. This can help to know where you are right now and where you are headed. Then you won't feel so lost.

  • Thank you so much for replying I was on beta blockers but I have had to come off them because they are worried I have a respiratory problem so until they finish all their tests I am not allowed it.

    I haven't been able to take any antidepressants because last time they were bad for me and I'm to worried about it happening again.

  • I started having panic attacks in college and am now 59, so just know you will live through it! I have struggled all my life with anxiety, panic, and depression and agoraphobia. I have good and bad spells. I have been in therapy my whole life and while it is helpful to have the outlet and support, it takes more than that to persevere. I am on a bunch of meds but Xanax works best for me with the panic. Lots of docs won't prescribe that so you might have to try several to get a script. I want you to know that I got my PhD and had a career in spite of my mental illness and made it to age 51 before I had to go out on disability. Unfortunately, insight alone isn't enough to "solve" these problems as you well know. It's a battle for sure. There is no ONE right "cure" for everyone, but hang in there and keep looking into medication options. I recently completed TMS and have had moderately good results (TranscranialMagneticStimulation). It's expensive, but I believe it's the future of psychiatry. It stimulates your neurological synapses to increase serotonin. Unfortunately, my state doesn't cover it with insurance (some do) so it cost me over $10,000! Let me know how you are and keep me posted. I know you are suffering.

  • It sounds like you have been through so much and still managed a phd what was the most challenging part for you and how did you get through it if you dont mind me asking.

    I have never heard of TMS see I'm in the UK Il have to ask the GPs

  • TMS is relatively new and not sure if you have it in the UK yet. It is used here mostly on the west and east coasts, but also places like the Mayo Clinic so it is LEGIT. Basically,, they map your brain and then put an electrode on a certain spot on your left brain lobe. You get a series of pulses that feel like a woodpecker and don't hurt. You are fully conscious and fine to drive home right after you're done, so it's not like ECT or anything. As a mental health professional, I have always thought that eventually psychiatry would discover parts of the brain to stimulate that would "fix" the neurological connections and that's what TMS tries to do. It reconnects the neurological synapses that cause the problem like depression and anxiety. You have to go every single day for a treatment. Your GPs probably haven't heard of it but you could look it up on the Internet if you're interested. Maybe you DO have it over there!

    I got through life mainly with medications and therapy. I feel like I have spent my entire adult life in therapy and I HAVE! I still struggle to feel "normal" and get frustrated that I was cursed with these issues. I feel like God could fix it with the blink of an eye if She wanted to! Meanwhile, I just kind of limp along and have finally found a great therapist. Just keep plugging away. I feel for you. But as I said, I have somehow made it to age 59 so it's possible to live and even enjoy some of life! Don't give up!

  • Dr loon bird.that tms your talking about is that like qeeg ? Like neurofeedback? And how much has it worked for you?

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