Why

[Everydayisrough]

Not a good day at all. Everything going wrong/bad. Story of my life. Really losing hope and faith that itll ever get better. I have accomplished nothing today. My anxiety is up. Depression seeping through as well. Crying uncontrollably because things are just bad. Panicky. Its not the anxiety thats making me feel bad. Its the things that keep happening that get my anxiety going. So much negativity around me. Make it stop 😢 😭😭😢😢 Im losing the will to keep fighting. Life is winning. I have my kids to keep me alive. But they cant fix me. I have no one

[brokenlight]

Sounds your accomplishment is just making it through today.

Try to be gentle with yourself & I’m sorry for your pain & suffering.

[Everydayisrough in reply to brokenlight]

The days are getting harder to get through.. Thank you 🙌

[Sober2007]

Immediately after reading this, my instinct was to look for a passage from Psalms to give you some comfort. Then I realized you've really already written your own psalm here, a true outpouring of the heart. You do have someone up above.

[Everydayisrough in reply to Sober2007]

Appreciate the kind words. Thanks a bunch

[dawgloverr]

Feeling the same thing almost everyday lately. I run a business and am trying to function but with such severe anxiety it really makes getting things accomplished soooo hard. And then because I couldn't do everything I feel like I should have, I beat myself up all day. By the end of the day I am EXHAUSTED. What helps me is instead of beating myself up for being anxious, being depressed, not being as productive as I feel like I should be, etc., I pretend that I am not helping myself, but someone else. What would I say to someone else struggling? I try to turn my own negative self talk into what I would say if someone else said to me, "hey I couldn't do what I wanted to do today because I couldn't control my anxiety." Instead of calling myself worthless (because I would NEVER say that to someone else but say to myself probably 10,000 times a day )"hey, that's ok! If anyone knows how hard it is to be in your head, it's me. I know how hard everyday is. I know how much you are struggling. You are doing the best you can." And helping myself by pretending that I am someone else needing support has made me kinder and gentler to myself. I am the only one who knows how hard it is to be in my mind/body so I need to be the first defense to the negative spiraling. Hope this helps

[Everydayisrough in reply to dawgloverr]

Its nice to have a few who understand. Especially when we're surrounded bu such judgemental people who will never get it. Im glad you've figured out something that helps you. I will definitely try anything. I thought Id reached rock bottom before, but back then i think i was stronger... Ty I really appreciate it

[dawgloverr in reply to Everydayisrough]

I can't tell you how many times I thought I've reached the lowest I could possibly feel, but then felt somehow lower. You've got to give yourself a little credit. You've made it past (i'm assuming) multiple rock bottoms. This is the strongest you've ever been. Younger you didn't have so many struggles that now you has had. You are killin it. This shit is NOT EASY. You cannot hold yourself to the same standard as people without mental health issues. Apples and oranges. <3

[Everydayisrough in reply to dawgloverr]

Rock bottom is where I learned to build from the ground up. But one day it all just crumbled and Im back at ground zero. Actually Im lower.... its like I learn to deal with one struggle, and another is thrown at me.. there are times I break down over absolutely nothing. It definitely is not easy. No matter how hard you try we will never have full control. Ive even tried to convince myself Im just being an idiot. Telling myself you're not anxious. You're not depressed. Its life. Suck it up. Deal.. absolutely did not work... I do appreciate you taking the time to help. Definitely don't get that in person. I try to give myself credit. Just domt think I deserve it

[dawgloverr in reply to Everydayisrough]

The depression makes you think you don't deserve the compassion. If someone else with the exact same struggles you are struggling with came to you how would you handle it? Would you tell them that they don't deserve patience and compassion? Look into why you don't think you deserve the credit for making it here. I've made it through many days that I thought would be my last one, yet here I am. I've made it, and you have too. That takes a special amount of strength and I truly hope you can see how strong you are for making it to today.

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to dawgloverr]

I totally agree. The depression gets in the way of selfcompassion. Anxiety does too. About 5 years ago I was depressed with anxiety, panic and PTSD. Before my therapist taught me about self compassion I read about it online and found a meditation on it.

I had to practice meditation to clear my mind before I could practice gratitude & self compassion. As time went on & I got the help I needed through therapy it became much easier to practice. Depending on the severity of depression or anxiety, yoga and exercise can help boost the mood enough and clear the mind to get a gratitude and/or compassion regimen together.

If there's a will, there's a way! Im living proof.

[Everydayisrough in reply to Sunnidayz1]

I like to hear/read that people find techniques that work for them. Meditation is not something thats easy for me. Its like i cannot mentally focus long enough for it ot affect me.. i do however want to look into therapy..medication. both...

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to Everydayisrough]

Yes I totally understand how you feel. In the beginning it was difficult but I got the hang of it. It is so beneficial.

Try "beginners meditation" on you tube. In the beginning it's all about learning the breath and always bringing the floating thoughts back to focus and clarity.

It takes practice but it's well worth the time & energy to learn.

[Stilltrying_ in reply to dawgloverr]

Twentyonepugs, although I am not the original poster I just want you to know that your replies to this poster have spoken directly to me and where I am at and they have really helped. I can so relate to all you have written. I really thought Sunday may be my last day; how could I tolerate such unbearable pain and yet now it is Monday and I am still here and I am a little better. And yes unfortunately I can relate to the idea of reaching the lowest I'd ever felt and then sinking lower many many times.

Such strong advice you give; we must not compare ourselves negatively with those who don't battle mental health problems .

I just so appreciate the way you have expressed all of this. It gives me courage strength and hope and I am going to copy and paste your replies to this poster into my documents so I can read them again and again. Thank you . Gemma xx

[dawgloverr in reply to Stilltrying_]

I am in tears with gratitude I am so happy to share what I've found to be helpful in these particularly dark times. I have recently started a hopeful path (after some incredible therapy) after a very dark year and remind myself how strong I am because of the simple fact that I'm still here and i made it. We should all give ourselves credit for that

[Stilltrying_ in reply to dawgloverr]

Its really good to hear you found incredible therapy.

I am currently looking into some different therapy. What was it about the therapy or the approach that helped you if you don't mind me asking? Was it eg trauma focussed or was there a particular thing about it that worked for you and can you describe? Many thanks in advance. Gemma

[dawgloverr in reply to Stilltrying_]

It wasn't instantaneous, unfortunately, but it did change everything. I had no "big" traumas in my life and yet was having severe anxiety which going unchecked for so long morphed into depression as well. When we are faced with a mind/body that we hate or is not working like we want it to work I think people just try to treat the symptoms of the anxiety or depression but not the actual root of where the anxiety or where the depression is coming from. When I reached the point where I was deciding if living this way was better or worse than dying, I knew something was broken. I was broken. Much like how if my sink was broken, I'd hire a plumber. Someone who is knowledgeable about something I do not have as much knowledge in. I think that mental health is not seen as something as concrete as plumbing but it is completely the same. A therapist goes to school to learn how to decode the mind/emotions/the big "why" and to become a therapist. It's a skill just like any other. I knew that what I was going through was beyond something I could fix myself so I looked for someone who could help. It's easier to just take medication to try and fix the symptoms of anxiety/depression short term but it's much more difficult to actually find the root of the problem and heal long term. Not to say that medication is bad at all I am currently speaking to a psychiatrist about starting certain anxiety medications. I do believe though that to really heal long term a therapist is the guide to get there. Hope this helped!

[Stilltrying_ in reply to dawgloverr]

Hi, yes it helped though I was wondering what type of therapy it was. I've had lots of therapy over the years and am realising how important it is for me right now to get the "right" therapy this time; there are so many different types. The type I had before Jungian Analytical therapy did not help but that was also something to do with the therapist.

She was horrible; provocative and confrontational; told me I was controlling and was likely to explode in anger so she had to watch her words. She also said "all you do is sit at home feeling suicidal all day".

Yes she said that (even though i wasn't sitting at home but I was feeling suicidal) I still find it hard to believe that she could be like that or say those things to me. They are SO untrue of me if you were to know me.

I am the kindest most compassionate human being on earth and my problem has been that I'm an Empath and that i've cared for others at the expense of myself due to how I was trained or groomed by my narcissistic mum.

That is why I am SO careful now. I need to get the right therapist. I guess if I give it about 6 sessions I should know. Thanks for getting back to me though.

[dawgloverr in reply to Stilltrying_]

SHE IS THE WRONG THERAPIST. I see someone and we just chat every other Tuesday. I think it's just regular therapy? I'm not sure what kind I apologize. But whoever you described is not the right person for you. This was the third person I tried and unfortunately it does take alot of trial and error but it really needs to be the right person. So the hunt can definitely be the hardest part. A safe place is requirement number one when I was looking at different therapists. And it can just be an overall energy of the person. I just knew the first two therapists weren't really responding in the way I felt comfortable but when I met my now therapist she communicated with me in a way that I felt open enough to be completely honest with her but also trust that her advice and guidance is best for me and my particular situation. If you are in the Boston area I would definitely recommend my therapist!

[Stilltrying_ in reply to dawgloverr]

I'm in the UK but that last reply was very useful You are right.

First and foremost it needs to be a safe space and for me it needs to be somewhere where I feel safe to be vulnerable.

She was ok when I wasn't vulnerable or should I say I could take her provocative style a bit better and she did say one or two useful things ( but in a very harsh way; for example she told me I was "robotic" which I am due to having to constantly suppress all my emotions but it was a very harsh and direct way of phrasing it .)

When I was very vulnerable she attacked me verbally. Crazy making.

I will make sure I get the right one next time and thank you once again that has really helped

[dawgloverr in reply to Stilltrying_]

of course!!! Feel free to reach out anytime

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to dawgloverr]

Self compassion is a great tool. I do that too. It's very helpful. Also I find if I focus on what I have done right or being grateful for what I do have instead of what I dont have, it helps me look at life in more of a positive way.

Theres a quote " Whether you think you can or can't, you're right." Most things are neutral in this world we could either look at things in a more positive light or negative. Your world is shaped by your own thoughts.

[Kat63]

Can you give yourself a ten-minute break, to just sit and be quiet? That might help.

[Everydayisrough in reply to Kat63]

I try. It gets rough when u have little kids

[Kat63 in reply to Everydayisrough]

I bet. Do they still take naps, or no?

[Everydayisrough in reply to Kat63]

Not not usually. 😖

[Everydayisrough]

🐬🐬🐬🐬💫💫

[Sunnidayz1]

thanks A!

[Hidden]

It’s ok to have a day, a few days, a week to do nothing, to not have to live up to accomplishments. We are made for long life, sit back and ponder a month, or two. It’s ok. It’s perfect time for planning and strategy, then when you hit the ground running you could find yourself someplace far better than you ever expected. Don’t live by society’s rules that you have to accomplish something today. It’s that in which we find ourself imprisoned by standards outside of our comfort zone, and that creates anxiety. Find your comfort zone and ride that wave to greater progress. Ironically the medicine for anxiety is having a clear vision of where you are going, and take the steps to get there at your pace. Society’s puts unreasonable pressures on us, and we get fooled into believing we have to function within those rules, and that is simply not true. Love your kids like crazy, and have a vision for yourself, and set your own standards. Be a dreamer.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Cute birdy by the way 🦜

[Everydayisrough in reply to Hidden]

Very true words indeed. Well spoken.. Now if I could just get my brain to go with that Id be good lol

[Hidden in reply to Everydayisrough]

Lol I hear yeah 🦜

[Everydayisrough in reply to Hidden]

And ty hes a royal pain in the butt

[Hidden in reply to Everydayisrough]

Hope your feeling better

[Everydayisrough in reply to Hidden]

Im okay when Im with someone (my mom). When Im home my anxiety builds. Im terrified and sad. Even with my kids around. I hate it

[Everydayisrough in reply to Hidden]

Thanks a bunch

[Hidden]

Aw girl I so wish all of us could get together when we feel like this! I know nothing helps but maybe someday we’ll take a rain check and get some cake and tea ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Everydayisrough in reply to Hidden]

Agreed!!! Its awesome to have this where we can all come and talk. But if we all lived close together it'd be great!😊

[hypercat54]

Hi. Yes you have accomplished a lot today. You have got up and out of bed and looked after your kids. You have posted here which is a massive step and very positive.

When we are depressed our thoughts are always negative and you always concentrate on what you haven't done rather than what you have. Now instead of doing that make a conscious effort to praise yourself for what you have done. Treat yourself as though you have a serious physical illness but are managing to cope. Every time you think a negative thought then start turning it into a positive ie 'I am so lazy I got out of bed late' change this to 'Well done me for getting up at all feeling so lousy'. Once you start doing this it becomes automatic and it feeds upon itself instead of the opposite. x

[Sunnidayz1]

This song never gets old! I love it.

Thank u posting this!

I rocked out to it!

lol

[Itsgoingtobeokay]

I saw mention of meditation, my dad sent me a link the other day and I appreciated the helpful introduction to meditation. It's short, sweet, and realistic, who knows, maybe your kids could give it a try too. mindful.org/adorable-animat...

It's not much but maybe it'll help. I hope your tomorrow is better than your today. I live for the moments when I can sit and watch my toddler just play, be happy for a moment, and be thankful he's in my life.

[YolyD]

Your life is worth fighting for, your kids are worth living for. Do you have a support system? a Family of faith (church) you can reach out to or get involved in? a number you can call to just reach out?

On days like that I just pray out loud and I pray for peace over my thought and my mind. You can also call this number for counseling,

(855-382-5433) (at not cost)

Praying for you.

[Everydayisrough in reply to YolyD]

My kiddos are my support system. They definitely are what keeps me going. I attend church. Hoping to start therapy soon. Thanks a bunch its appreciated

[YolyD in reply to YolyD]

(855-382-5433) this is the number to call

[Everydayisrough in reply to YolyD]

Thanks so much