personal battles at work

[dwhp]

Just as I am getting better in my personal healing journey I'm getting dragged back down at work. i am feeling underappreciated at work from a bare minimum boss that creates drama and chaos. Although I thought I was okay with my work arrangement but i feel cheated by her apathy in making the team thrive together. The boss only focuses on her personal benefit and pits everyone against each other so we don't get along. I am angry and bitter that everyone else around me has gotten a promotion or recognition for their efforts except for me.

I realize that a lot of my personal experiences with relational, betrayal, and inequity trauma has stirred up emotions that's making me weak. i can't focus and i have nightmares. I replay conversations in my head with various people as if i really would have a chance to talk to them.

I am reaching out to my therapist again for support and guidance. This is not something I can talk to people at work about because it's my battle and i'm learning to keep my life private at work.

This has been a learning experience for me to be assertive about my wants and needs. I am learning to watch people's actions rather than their words. I am truly on my own now at work because I no longer have my boss/mentor of 17 years to help me.

I will survive, it'll take time and pain but I'll eventually get there.